“Transtrenders” | ContraPoints


(intense music) – Comfort ye, comfort ye my subscribers, so saith your Goddess. For it is I, the digital
messiah, the online oracle, the social media savior, yea! Verily I say unto you, there
were influencers abiding in the feed, keeping watch
over their followers by night. And lo, I came upon them,
and the glory of my posts shone about me, and I
delivered unto them a vision! (soft music) – Freedom, freedom, f*cking freedom. Which matters more, the freedom
to live an authentic life, or the freedom to crush degenerates under the heel of a jackboot? As a centrist I am undecided, but the important thing
is we’re talking about it. Hi, I’m Jackie Jackson,
welcome to the Freedom Report, the political talk show where
we discuss important issues, like Mexicans, how dangerous are they? Muslims, can we stop them? Tonight, we return once
again to the dangerous transgender trend that
is turning your children into all manner of
half-and-halfs and in-betweens. I mean look at this, they’re
transing 13-year-olds now. What’s next? Babies with breast implants? It makes me wanna throw up. I live in constant fear. And fear is what freedom is all about. Cut the music! Tonight my first guest is Tiffany Tumbles, transgender makeup vlogger and
conservative opinion-haver. And my second guest, well
what the hell are you? You’re transgender, you’re
a man, you’re a woman, you’re an attack helicopter,
what’s your deal? – Well Jackie Jackson,
my, as you say, deal is I don’t like society forcing
me into tiny little boxes. – Okay but are you a man
or a woman, just tell me. – Well why does it matter? Why do you have to know? Maybe you should examine why it is you feel the need to fit everyone you meet into these little
categories, Jackie Jackson. – Well can I at least ask your name or is that now considered
cisgender imperialism? – My name is Baltimore. – Baltimore what? – Baltimore Maryland. – I’m sorry, your name
is Baltimore Maryland? – It is among my names. – Tiffany what do you make of this? – Look Jackie, I’m gonna be
completely real with you. I am a transsexual. That means I have a very specific mental disorder called gender dysphoria. I was born a boy, but
I have a female brain because of a hormone
imbalance in the womb. This is a real psychiatric disorder, that is verified by science, and requires hormones and
surgery for treatment, or else I literally cannot function. It is not a fashion
statement, it is not a trend, it is not an easy way to
feel special and oppressed; it’s a very difficult
condition to live with. (intense music) I’m dying inside. – Okay so you’re both transsexuals then. – No. I am a transsexual. That is not a transsexual. That is a transtrender. – Transtrender? What is that, is that a gender? – No it’s not a gender. A transtrender is a person,
like Baltimore over here, who puts on a dress and
puts glitter in his beard and goes around telling
people he’s transgender and complaining about “misgendering”
for oppression points. – Actually, it’s they. – What? – I use they/them pronouns. – They go around collecting
oppression points, as you can see. – Why do you say that, Tiffany Tumbles? Have I complained about oppression so far? It seems to me that it’s you who have been complaining about your dysphoria. Isn’t it you who’s collecting oppression points, Tiffany Tumbles? – No I’m not, I’m not
saying I’m oppressed. I’m saying I have dysphoria,
which is not society’s fault, it’s in my brain, I was diagnosed, it’s a fact, it’s real, my pain is real. – And my pain isn’t real? It’s interesting that you think that. – Well what pain are you talking about, people making fun of you because you dress like a circus act? – Interesting that you mention
the circus, Tiffany Tumbles. Don’t you think we should
examine why society confines gender variant
people to the circus? – You’re not confined anywhere, you choose to dress like that. – And why do you choose to
dress the way you dress? – Because I’m a woman, so
I’m dressed like a woman. Hello. – And I’m non-binary, so
I dress non-conforming. Why should I conceal who I am just to appease small-minded people? – Well it’s a free country, if you wanna be a glitterbeard
genderf*ck then go ahead. But don’t go around telling
people that you’re transgender, because it makes us look like
a bunch of trendy freaks. – But aren’t we all freaks
in the eyes of society? Do you think you can purchase
acceptance through conformity? Because that is not
freedom, Tiffany Tumbles. That is simply adding
another cell to the prison. – It’s not about conforming. It’s about me having an
actual medical condition. You do not have a female brain,
you have a fashion disaster. – Oh do they? Well tell me, Tiffany Tumbles, when the doctor prescribed your hormones, did he take a look at your brain then? – What? Of course not. – But you have seen a
scan of your brain yes? – Well no. Where are you going with this? – I mean, if you’ve never seen your brain, and the doctor who diagnosed
your gender dysphoria didn’t look at it, then,
tell me Tiffany Tumbles, how do you know that
you have a female brain? (slurps) – Well shit. That’s a good point. – No it isn’t! Look, there’s scientific studies. – Can you explain to me the difference between a male brain and a female brain? Are they different colors? – I’m not an expert. But there’s science showing that men and women have brain differences. – I see. But your doctor never
looked at your brain. So how did he know you
have gender dysphoria? – Well he asked me questions
and I told him about it. – And you told him what exactly? – That I experience gender dysphoria. – So would you agree then
that your gender dysphoria and therefore your identity is valid not because of any observed
facts about your brain, but because of your fffffeelings? – Well congratulations
Attorney Frank-N-Furter, you backed me into a corner. Sure, it’s because of my feelings. My feelings of gender dysphoria. – So tell me, Tiffany Tumbles, why is it that your feelings
about your are gender valid, but mine, according to you, are not? – [Tiffany] This burgeoning brick. – You guys, let’s think about this. If I’ve never seen my brain, then how do I know I even have a brain? – Well you probably don’t girl. Look, Baltimore, I’m sure you have lots of feelings about your gender,
and if you feel cloudgender or demi-nebula or astroglide, or whatever Tumblr bullshit
passes through your mind, then you do you girl-or not girl, whatever the f*ck you are. But I want to make one thing very clear. I am nothing like you. Okay? My gender is not unicorns and glitter, my gender it is a serious
psychiatric diagnosis that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. No, not even you. – My, I’m really getting
under your skin, aren’t I? – No, well actually, yes,
to be honest, you are. You’re getting under my
skin because it really rattles my dysphoria
that you’re sitting here claiming to represent the
transgender community, when in fact you’re just
making a mockery of my pain. – Your pain, you’re in a lot of pain, aren’t you, Tiffany Tumbles? – Well… – I can sense the vibrations
of your pain across the room. And I pity you, Tiffany Tumbles. I pity you because you
don’t think that you’re real until a man in a lab-coat
signs a prescription pad. And I can’t imagine what it must be like to have so little confidence
in your own reality. – Okay, well don’t patronize me. – I’m just trying to
understand, Tiffany Tumbles, why you think being transgender is all about hating yourself
and hating your body. Why can’t trans identity
be joyful and celebratory? – No, you don’t have to hate
yourself or hate your body. But you do have to have dysphoria. And if you tell people otherwise you’re just misleading them. – I want to heal the rift inside your heart, Tiffany Tumbles. Would you please join me in saying a prayer for your wellness? – Actually I would strongly prefer that you stay away from any of my rifts. – O Goddess of Light,
please shield and protect Tiffany against the ravages of inner strife.
– Oh Jesus. – [Baltimore] Enclose her in your loving arms, and cleanse her of all of condemnation.
– What the f*ck? – And internalized transphobia. I entreat you, O Great Mother, bathe Tiffany in inner peace,
acceptance, and self-care, and rid her of her toxic
cisnormative truscum ways. Amen. – Are we done here? I don’t think I can make it through any more readings
from the SJW prayerbook. – Tiffany, why are you rejecting the love I am trying to deliver unto you? – Because I’m grossed
out by you that’s why. – Okay then. Well namaste bitch. – Look, why don’t we all
take a step back and take a moment just to honor
our heroes in uniform and let them know how much
we appreciate their service. God I love the troops. Thinking about the troops
makes me wet, it makes me come. Semper fi boys! – What? – I think I’m starting to
wrap my head around this. Tiffany, your transsexualism, I have to say I don’t love
it, but you do seem to at least be aware that you have some kind of mental disorder, so I’ll give you that. Whereas Baltimore, you’re what, making some kind of statement? – If my existence is a statement, I think that says more about
society than it says about me. – Jackie what you have
to understand is there have been transsexuals
around for a long time, I’ve talked to 80-year-old transsexuals and they agree with me,
that all this genderqueer bullshit is just a trend. It’s a fad. – But is it? For thousands of years
there have been third-gender groups across human cultures. There’s the Hijra of India, the two-spirit people
among native Americans. Whereas, binary transsexualism is a medical construct of the 20th century. Gender dysphoria wasn’t even
a recognized mental condition until 2013, meaning that
Tumblr is twice as old as the first gender dysphoria diagnosis. So perhaps it is you, Tiffany Tumbles, and not I who is following a trend. (slurps) – Woah. That just blew my mind. The tables are turned bitch! Tiffany could you explain to me why you decided to become a transtrender? (intense music) – He’s not Native American though! – They. – They! You know it’s kind of hard not to call you “he” when you have a f*cking beard. If you were actually trans,
and you actually had dysphoria, then you wouldn’t be
comfortable with that. – Your honor, in my defense
it is a glitter beard. – Okay well that’s very
2019, very gender, very they. But what it isn’t is two spirit. Look the SJWs don’t even agree with this, they think it’s racist. White people have two genders. Pick one and sit down dude. – Yeah that’s a good point. Two genders, two genders. Attack helicopter. It’s ma’am. – Okay, well now you’re just berating me. – My name is Baltimore, I
think there’s 76 genders because I don’t think you need dysphoria to be trans.
– Two genders. – Okay you’re just saying that you’re me and talking in a whiny voice. That’s not actually an argument. – Waaahh, the toxic truescum bullies are gate keeping my gender,
I don’t have dysphoria. – You know kids, the
one thing you’ll always have to deal with in life is assholes. It’s hard to be yourself. But it’s worth it. Let’s be ourselves. Let’s totally be ourselves. – Alright that’s enough of this. You know, as a biological female I honestly don’t understand
any of this tr(beep)ny shit. – Okay, that was a hard T. – Now does my husband
sometimes wear panties around the house and ask me to call
him mommy’s little slut? Well sure, but that is a matter
between her and the Lord. It’s best not to think about it too much. Anyway, uh, Tiffany my brain
has an easier time processing you than whatever’s going over here, so, congratulations you’re the winner. That was some excellent free speech. – Okay. Great. – So in conclusion, transtrenders are real and probably dangerous. Make sure to protect your children. As for how many genders there are, you know what I’m gonna take the centrist route and say, two and a half. Alright that’s our show, this
has been the Freedom Report, where the debate never stops. Except when the show’s over. Get out. – The girl can’t help it, she’s a Libra. (soft music) – Behold, the non-binary lamb, who was despised and rejected. They gave their cheek to
them that mocked their beard, and hid not their face from shame. But lo, Tiffany, the persecutrix, trannier than thou, a
shady queen, came next upon her friend Justine, and
sought her counsel thus. (soft music) – Goddamn it Justine, I just can’t with these trenders
anymore, I simply cannot. – You know you can just text me “here” and I’ll come open the door. – Okay. Seems a little formal. (scoffs) You look great hon. – Cute. – Justine you look like absolute shit. What happened? Did the catgirl finally beat you up? – No I just, look I
slept in my makeup okay. Leave me alone, I’ve been having a difficult time. – Oh are we serving a
little depression moment? Jesus, well don’t leave me out. – I saw you on the Freedom Report today. – Okay girl can we talk about
ladybeard Baltimore Maryland? Add that one to the crazy
tr(beep)ny hall of fame. – Really? You’re happy with the way that went? You feel good about that? You feel good about yourself right now? – Well why wouldn’t I? – Tiffany there is nothing
more sad and pathetic and desperate and low in this world than a tran who thinks she’s
better than other trans. It’s like a drunk feeling
superior to a junkie. You seem to think that you’re
queen of the world because you’re hanging onto societal acceptance by two fingers instead of one. Well you’re not bitch. You’re just an insecure,
frightened little queer who’s determined to use
the one ounce of power you have to tread other people down. And if I’m being honest, I
don’t find that very admirable. – Your eyelash is coming unglued. – My life is coming unglued. – Look it’s not like I’m
coming after tr*nnies who just can’t afford to transition or don’t have the social support. It’s not like Baltimore is
doing everything he can to pass and people just treat him
like a freak for no reason. – They. It’s they. – Are we really saying
they now, in private? – Yes, we are. So get used to it. – My name is Justine, I think misgendering is toxic because I care
about people’s feelings. I always forget that you’re
like, actually an SJW. – I always forget that
you’re actually an asshole. Why do I even hang out with you? – Oh because you hate yourself? And you have to believe
there’s hope for me because if there’s hope for me there
might be hope for you? – Wow you’re developing
self-consciousness, where’d you learn that trick? – Gigi? – Tiffany have you ever been bullied? – Oh let’s see let me think. Only K through 12, nine hours a day. But you don’t see me going on
talk shows to play the victim. – No I see you going on talk
shows to play the bully. I think you grew up getting
bullied for being a sissy till you started passing as a woman, and then you got a little taste of normal, and now you wanna be the
one who bashes the queers. – Bash them? If anything I’m the one
defending trans people from appropriation and misrepresentation
by these trenders. – You said on air that
Baltimore grosses you out. Do you really expect me to
believe that your motivations here have nothing to do
with your own self-loathing? – How could it be self-loathing when Baltimore is nothing like me. – Okay then it’s just
bigotry, that’s even worse. – Oh it’s not bigotry. Look I shouldn’t have said
grossed out, I’ll give you that. But he does, they do make uncomfortable. – And why do you think that is? – I get second-hand dysphoria looking at someone so burgeoning. Yeugh. Makes me wanna down a bottle of hormones, make sure I never look like that. – Bitch second-hand
dysphoria, what is that? – You know when you look at a (beep) and you just clock
everything and you feel like, sympathetic vibrations of dysphoria? – Yeah I do know what
you’re talking about, and I’ll tell you why it happens. When you’re early in your transition, and you’re doing
everything you can to pass, you develop a really sophisticated eye for every little thing that
makes you clockable. Then, you turn that sophisticated eye onto other trans people, and you project your dysphoria onto them. – I buy that. – Yeah, well that is
absolutely not a valid reason to police other
trans people’s presentation. Second-hand dysphoria is not valid. The fact that you project
your dysphoria onto other people is your problem
and your problem alone. And you need to deal with
that issue in private girl, not on a f*cking talk show. – Yeah you’re probably right about that. But it still doesn’t make
Baltimore Maryland anymore valid. – Tiffany let’s be pragmatic about this. Suppose everything you’re saying is true. Suppose the only real trans people are dysphoric binary transgender people. – Transsexuals. – Every time you say the word transsexual I feel like it’s 1978. Are you 80 years old? – I guess you could say I’m
not the trendiest person. – Ha ha, Look suppose you’re right, and everyone who doesn’t
meet your definition of a transsexual is some kind
of confused trend-follower. Even if that were true, and to be clear, it isn’t, what you’re doing harms even the trans people you think are valid, because virtually every trans person goes through a period of being
confused about their gender, and of having non-conforming expression, and you’re going around
enforcing a stigma against that. Didn’t you ever have
doubts about your gender? Weren’t you ever androgynous? – Oh yeah I mean I was
never that burgeoning but I had my little cringe
year of being a non-binary SJW. – Uh-huh. And one of the great things
about non-binary identities is they give trans people
the conceptual space to exist even when neither
gender really fits them, whether that’s for their entire life or just for a couple months. Hasn’t it occurred to
you that being shamed and berated for being
a trender during your exploration year might not have
been the most helpful thing? – Not really. I have dysphoria so if
anyone called me a trender, I’d eventually prove them wrong. That’s all I’m saying. If you’re not a trender, then
transition, prove me wrong. – But stigma you perpetuate
against gender confusion and experimentation
keeps trans people in the closet and delays transition, it alienates baby trans from the community that should be welcoming them instead of publicly humiliating them. And when you appoint
yourself the public decider of whomst is really
trans, the Torquemada of the trender inquisition,
you’re terrorizing a lot of people who are genuinely
trying to figure themselves out. – Okay but then how do we
decide which (beep) are valid? – We don’t. – Then this is where I’m losing you. Because transtrenders
are absolutely a thing, like undeniably. I’ve talked to people
who’ve literally told me they used to be transtrenders. – So some people question their gender but end up deciding
they’re not really trans. There’s nothing wrong with
that, and those people still aren’t being
helped by public shaming. – Well maybe they wouldn’t be
confused in the first place if SJWs weren’t going
around telling people they don’t need dysphoria to be trans. You know it’s one thing if teenage girls want to dye their hair pink and call themselves demi-boys
for most of sophomore year. But some of these kids are actually going to medically transition,
and soon we’re gonna have an epidemic of
detransitioners on our hands, and there’s gonna be TERFs publishing “I told you so” op-eds
in every major newspaper. Now maybe you think that’s
all worth it just to make sure no one ever feels
invalidated for any reason, but I think that’s highly irresponsible. – Look if you’re so worried
about people feeling pressured to medically transition, then
what you should be doing is working to make the trans
community as inclusive and welcoming as possible to
gender non-conforming people, and non-binary people, and
people who are questioning, and trans people who don’t
medically transition. But instead you’re doing
the exact opposite. You’re telling everyone
that medical transition is the only way to be valid. And if anything is pressuring people to medically transition, it’s that. – Justine I think you’re a
good person, maybe too good, and that’s why you’re trying to have compassion for everyone. But at some point you
have to protect yourself. We live in a world of
Jackie Jacksons who don’t understand trans people
and don’t think we’re real. So we need to have an
explanation of what it is to be trans that is based on
facts and not feelings. And most factual explanation
is transmedicalism, which is the idea that transsexualism is a diagnosable mental disorder
called gender dysphoria. There’s science to back this up, it’s accepted by medical professionals, and it clearly explains why we are valid, unlike Rachel Dolezal, and
snowflake-gender teenagers, and people who identify as cats. – Okay, I see the appeal. But I don’t think transmedicalism is as validating as you think it is. – Why not? – I’ll put it bluntly. Why does having gender
dysphoria make you a woman? – Because gender dysphoria
means I have a female brain. – No it doesn’t. I’m sorry to tell you but the science does not say what you think it says. There may be neurological
causes of gender dysphoria, but at the end of the day all dysphoria is is discomfort in a male
body, or a male social role, or however you want to put it. And wanting to be a woman is not the same thing as being a woman, not by any means. – Girl where are you going with this? What is this, are you becoming a TERF? – No I just don’t think your theory actually validates our womanhood. – Well if you’re right, that’s a real problem, because we need to have
reason and science and logic and facts on our side so
that we can explain to society that we’re valid,
and that we’re real, otherwise, bad things. – Maybe there’s a better theory. – Well okay Socrates let’s hear it then. – The way I see it, gender
is either psychological, or biological, or social. Now my friend Tabby, the catgirl, she thinks it’s all psychological, that it’s just identity, that whatever you think
about your gender is true. And that makes me really uncomfortable, because then what’s the
difference between identifying as a woman and identifying
as a Norwegian Forest Cat? It’s a difference that Tabby herself seems not to have much of a grip on. – Girl that’s literally
what I’ve been trying to tell you about
transtrenders this entire time. – Just lemme finish. If gender is strictly biological then that’s game over for trans people. Unless you make some kind of wrong-brain-in-the-wrong-body argument but I told you I’m not buying that. So that leaves gender
as a social construct. – Are you gonna try to make
me read Judith Butler again? – I’ll summarize it. Gender is a series of gestures. It’s called performativity. It’s the way you dress,
it’s the way you speak, it’s the way you act, it’s the way you relate to other people. Through transitioning we
habituate to the gestures of womanhood, and socially
that makes us women, regardless of biology or
psychology, checkmate transphobes. – Okay, the problem with that is it’s both too exclusionary
and too inclusive. It excludes a lot of trans
people who can’t transition for circumstantial reasons but
whose dysphoria is very real. And it includes every transtrender,
drag queen, fetishist, and two-bit cross dressing
comedian in a Dynel wig. – Uh, well. – Do you really believe
that a man who plays a woman onstage becomes just as much
of a woman as you and me? – Yes? – Bitch no you don’t. – Yeah you’re right I’m full of shit. – I know you are. Because you’re an SJW. And SJWs hate the performativity theory almost as much as they hate me. – Well they only hate it because
they don’t understand it. They think it invalidates
non-binary identities but in fact it’s the most rational way to
explain non-binary identities. – How can you perform
a non-binary identity? – Simple. You learn the rules so you can break them. Wearing a beard and a dress
communicates ambiguity. Even the gesture of declaring, “I am neither a man or a woman” is a speech act that removes the speaker from the semantics of. – Girl shut up. This is too much philosophizing,
I can’t stand it anymore. Why don’t you tell me what’s
really going on with you. Why do you look like you’ve
been in a k-hole for a week? Why are are you suddenly so obsessed with white-knighting
for non-binary people? – Because I am non-binary. – No you’re not. What are you talking about? – I just feel like since
I started transitioning I’ve been trying so hard to fit in, and to perform my gender, and to pass, and to just be normal. But I can’t do it anymore. I just cannot make it work. I feel like an actor,
I feel like a zombie, like I’m just going
through the motions of this new gender role that’s
supposed to liberate me but that’s somehow just
as empty as the old one. Because I’m just not normal Tiffany. I’m a freak, and I’m
always gonna be a freak. – Justine, you’re not
non-binary, you’re gay. And everyone can see this except you. – Oh come on. I’m not gay. – Justine was extremely gay. Protest though the lady may, there simply is no stopping gayness. – I love catgirls! I hate catgirls but I also love them! – O abominable fate. – Okay so I’m a little bit gay. – Right and you don’t know how
to reconcile your attraction to women with your desire
to perform your gender. That’s why you feel this dissonance. – Yeah I guess that’s basically it. – Well it really shouldn’t
be that hard girl. You already came out as a woman. Just blurt it out. Say “Hello world, my name is
Justine and I f*ck pussy.” – That’s a very cisnormative way to/ – Say it! – Hello world, my name is
Justine and I f*ck pussy? Ugh, I feel like a man when I say it. – Yeah well you should probably
buy a pickup truck then. Get some of those mudflaps on the back with like the little sexy ladies on them. And you may as well change
your name back to Justin. – Okay, well that’s just uncalled for. – Girl I don’t know what to
say except I told you so. Sexuality is just like gender identity. It is not a performance, it’s not a trend, it’s not a choice. It’s just part of who you are and there’s nothing you
can do to change it. – I guess you’re right. I guess my theory sucks. – It sucks so f*cking hard. But the good news is you can
unclench your asshole now and do whatever you want
because you’re still a woman whether you’re performing
a stereotype or not. So run free Justine. Go top a cis woman. Bang a gay guy. Wear some over-sized flannel. Do whatever you want. – Wow, yeah I guess that
is pretty liberating. – Yeah thank God for
transmedicalism right? Oh except not because you
just destroyed transmedicalism with facts and logic so we have no theory. We have no theory Justine. What do we do now? How do we prove we’re valid? – Well just do what every trans woman has done since time. Go out and f*ck the most
brutally heterosexual man you can find and be validated in come. – Oh honey I have and I will. But that’s not gonna
convince anyone but me. It’s not a proof, it’s not a theory. – Well maybe we don’t need a theory. Maybe we don’t need to prove anything. – Bad things, Justine, bad things! – Well do we have a theory
about why people are gay? No. They just are. The only reason we even feel
like we need a theory about trans people is that society
is so unaccepting of us that it’s constantly demanding
we justify our own reality. – Okay, so what am I supposed
to tell Jackie Jackson then? What am I supposed to tell the TERFs? That I’m a woman because reasons? – No, not even because reasons. Just because you are. – So it’s what, a leap of faith? Oh great I’m sure that’s gonna convince all the rational skeptics. Justine, it makes us sound
completely delusional. – Well Tiffany, delusion is what separates us from the animals. Who do you think built the
pyramids and the cathedrals? Clearly not people with a
perfectly rational worldview. But why do you care anyway? Aren’t you the one who thinks being trans is a mental disorder? – Well I wouldn’t describe
it as the height of sanity. But I would prefer to think
that my whole life and identity is based on something I
can rationally explain. – Well what are we Tiffany, men? Isn’t the single most obnoxious thing about men that they think
they have to wrap up the entire world in a little rational box? Maybe the most important things in life can’t be logically proved. Can you logically prove that
you love your own children? No. And the attempt to prove it is
as degrading as it is futile. Maybe gender identity
is one of those things. – Okay but then how do I
prove I’m more valid than Baltimore Maryland and the
stargenders and the catpeople? – Well maybe we should stop
getting so caught up in proving our validity to ourselves that we end up being horribly
cruel to other people. What if we just accept all
the freaks of the world? At the end of the day maybe
it’s just not as important to have logical proofs as
it is to be empathetic, and open-minded, and compassionate. ♪ Kumbaya, my Lord, kumbaya ♪ ♪ Kumbaya, my Lord, kumbaya ♪ Tiffany. ♪ Kumbaya, my Lord, kumbaya ♪ ♪ Kumbaya ♪ I have something to tell you. – Here it comes. – I love you. – Okay, well I’m gonna get going now. I have an important date
drinking vodka cranberries and reading YouTube comments by myself, so I’d really better go do that. But good luck with your new life as a male lesbian who f*cks cats. (scoffs) Oh, are you upset? – Just go. – I’m sorry. (upbeat music) – I hate this bitch. But God she’s a yum yum. (soft music) – Hearken children, in this
vision ye have witnessed mortal fools upon the screen, fools who do not love themselves. But I, your Goddess, Mother, Queen, messiah, I am nothing like them. For I am truth, I am light, I ended capitalism, and everything I tweet is woke. But most importantly I love myself. I love myself so much it makes
me wet, it makes me come. Praise be unto me, hallelujah, like comment and subscribe, amen. (soft bang) (thoughtful music)

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