The taboo of depression | Silja Björk Björnsdóttir | TEDxReykjavík


Translator: Stanislava Moskalets
Reviewer: Denise RQ Ladies and gentlemen,
I welcome you here today. I’m going to share an idea with you. In order to share that idea with you, I’m going to talk to you about
a very personal experience of mine. It was a bright sunny day in June. I’m twenty one years old, and I’m sitting on the edge of my bed. A bottle of pills – in my left hand,
and a bottle of Kahlua – in my right. From the ceiling light hangs
poorly constructed noose, and my computer stands open
with an elaborate goodbye letter. I’m going to commit suicide. There is something so unexplainably heavy pushing down on me, something that I feel can only
be relieved with death. This broken record keeps playing
the same old familiar song in my head, and the lyrics go something like, “Nobody loves you. Nobody needs you. Existence is futile. You are worthless.” The pain is too much for me
and too much for my family to bear, and this is why I’m committing suicide. I’m not just doing it for me. I’m doing it for my mother, for my father,
for my friends, and my family. They will understand that the world
is so much better off without me. They will understand that
committing suicide is good for all of us. That is what I was thinking, that is what I believed at that time, and that is the ridiculous truth and ultimately, the taboo of depression. Does that sound like something
a healthy person would say? Does that sound like something a person of a sound mind
and body would think? What I’m asking you, basically, is
what is health and being healthy? Is health just about
eating right and exercising, being able to run a marathon, and looking skinny enough
to wear a bikini? Or is health something more? What if I was able to do all those things and still suffered
from cancer or diabetes? You wouldn’t go and say,
“Yeah, she’s in full health.” Probably not. But what if I was able to run a marathon,
but still suffered from depression, would that make me healthy in theory? Just think about it. And why is that? In the vast world of modern social media I constantly raised awareness that the issue of mental health still
somehow stays under the covers. Why is it, when I open my Facebook page, I scroll through endless pictures
of flexed muscles, and a constant stream of healthy recipes, people boasting and bragging about how far they ran
or how much they benched. But nobody ever texts
to Facebook to tell the world they are in a good mental health, that they are stable
and taking care of themselves. Why is it we never see check-ins
from therapists’ offices, or selfies from psychiatric clinics, status updates about the latest cognitive
behaviour treatments and therapy crisis? Why is it so easy for us to admit that we can heal our broken bones but not our broken souls? When talking about depression
and feeling depressed, I am not referring to the gloomy feeling
of a tired Monday morning. I’m talking about the medical factor,
like a broken leg. So let’s use the metaphor. Let’s say my leg is broken,
and it hurts really bad. In fact, it hurts so much
that it’s on the verge of killing me. But what I do is
I tape it together myself, and I just walk on it broken,
gradually just breaking it more. And when people tell me, “You know, there is
something wrong with your leg,” “Oh no, it’s fine. It’s not broken.
It’s just a little bit crooked today. I’m fine.” For three years I walked around
on that broken leg, lying to people and lying to myself
that everything is fine, everything is OK,
nothing is wrong with me. Every time I think about calling
the doctor or seeing someone, I can’t; because the shame
washes over me, and I start thinking
that I can’t call the doctor because people will know
that I can’t heal my own broken leg. This is the survival of the fittest. They will know you can’t do it yourself,
and they will cast you out. Doesn’t that scenario sound
completely ridiculous to you? It does, doesn’t it? So why is it that we are
so easily ready to admit that we can fix our bodies
but not our souls? Being depressed is not easy. It’s something that you have to
battle with your whole entire life. When I’ve given lectures
to teenagers about depression, I always start off by asking them, “What is the first thing
that comes to your mind when I say the word ‘depressed’?” And they most frequently say
things like, “You’re sad,” “You’re lonely”, “You hate yourself,” “You feel really bad,
AND you don’t know why.” I tell them in response, “You all are
absolutely right. That’s all correct.” But I’m always holding
my heart out for this one kid to raise his or her hand
and say, “It’s an illness.” Because that is exactly what it is. The social taboo surrounding
depression crystallizes in the way people talk about it. Admit it: everyone in here has either said
something or heard people say, “Oh, yeah, he is on crazy pills,” or “Yeah, I heard
she is seeing a psychiatrist” like it’s something bad, like it’s something
you should be ashamed of and the reason that I walked around
on broken legs for so many years – and so many people still do – is because society
still doesn’t fully grasp the concept of mental illness
being an illness not a choice. Because I can assure you
I didn’t wake up one morning and think, “Oh, yeah, that depression thing!
I heard that’s cool. I’m going to try out. I’m going to do that.” Much like a cancer patient,
I didn’t stroll up to the hospital and just sign up for
chemotherapy and struggle. It’s an illness. It’s something that I cannot control. Because what happens
when talking about depression is that I’m talking about
the medical factor like the broken leg. But in my case,
my legs are completely fine; It’s my mind that’s broken. My broken brain doesn’t produce the right amount of happy
hormones into my body, and that’s what’s wrong with me. So it’s those hormones, or lack thereof, what would make me think that I’m useless, worthless,
pathetic, and small. It’s what makes me twist
every single word, every glance, every comment, every mistake
into something catastrophically bad. It is what makes me unable
to move out of bed in the morning, and it is what makes the automatic task of breathing
an uphill mountain climb. So, what do we have to do to change this?
What do we have to do? We have to talk about it. We have to talk about everything
that happens to us, everything that goes on in our lives, everything that happens
to us as human beings; whether we like it or not,
good or bad, is going to affect us. Our feelings are the most
purest form of expression, and we should never have to hide them. When I first started telling people
that I was depressed, their reactions completely baffled me, because, all of a sudden,
everyone was a doctor, everyone kept telling me, “There is no way you can be depressed
because you’re always so happy. You’re the life of every party. You have friends and family.
You do well at school. You’re the head of the drama club.
You’re part of the debate team.” And somehow, a depressed person isn’t supposed to have
and be able to do all those things, and still be depressed. That is the misunderstanding that constantly feeds
on the taboo of depression because we don’t talk about it. The misunderstanding is that not all mentally-ill persons
are strapped down in straight jackets, locked away in asylums. This actually happens to “normal people.” It’s happened to someone in this room. It is going to happen to someone
in this room or someone that you know. I’m here to tell you
things are going to get better; because I’m here talking about it, you’re going out,
and you’re going to talk about it, and things are going to get better. So, as I said, when I first started
telling people that I was depressed, the reaction I received was ridiculous. But after three years
of struggling with myself, struggling with my self-identity, smoking too much,
drinking too much, eating too much, one night standing and parting
my way out the of pain to try to make people
think that I was happy, to try to look happy on the outside, putting on this huge,
heavy mask for all this time, so people wouldn’t realize
that my leg was in smithereens. And then I woke up
one day, and I thought: “This is not the person that I want to be. This is not who I was born
on this Earth to be.” So I picked up the phone,
and I called the therapist, and that was the hardest thing
I’ve ever done. In my first session, my therapist
told me, “You know what? You are going to feel a lot worse
when you leave the session because you are ripping off a band-aid that has been sitting on your soul
for I don’t even know how many years.” But I ripped off that band-aid,
and I’m proud of myself for doing so. I ripped it off, and I gradually started
working out my problems. Then, after several months of treatment
and help from the people closest to me, I was able to put my problems behind me. For the first time, in such a long time, I was happy -happy! A feeling that I had completely put off, a feeling that I thought was reserved
for some exclusive country club upstate, something I was never
going to be able to feel again. I was, in all essentials, happy; healthy and happy. So, let’s go back to that day
I was talking about earlier. Let’s go back to that bright,
sunny day in June 2013. I’m 21 years old, I have my whole life ahead of me, but, alas, the pill bottle now
occupies my stomach, and so does the Kahlua. The pain that I’m experiencing I will never be able to explain. If you’ve never truly
experienced depression and actually wanting to take you own life, I sincerely hope you never will. This is a feeling I wouldn’t wish
upon my worst enemies. All of sudden, this little voice, this devil that’s been sitting
on my shoulders, starts talking, “You know what?
You are going to mess this up. You are going to fail like you failed
everything else in your life. You’re going to fall from the noose
and break your spine, damage your kidneys,
and wake up a miserable vegetable, and you are a loser
that can’t even do this right. You can’t even kill yourself right.” And that was the thought
that made me reach for the phone. I wish I could say it was the image
of my parents weeping at my coffin, or the thought of a happier life
in the future, but it wasn’t. It was this thought,
the thought that I was a failure. And I didn’t want to fail this. So, in some kind of a frenzy,
I pick up the phone, I dial my best friend’s number, and from that point on
everything becomes a haze. I am rushed into an ambulance,
they’re pushing me around in gurneys, they’re pumping the drugs out of me, and much like a patient
with broken legs or infected gums I am at the hospital to get help. And there are professional people
here to take care of me. I understand why people
that have never really experienced this and don’t know what depression is, tend to say that suicide is a selfish act. But I’m here to tell you that it’s not. You couldn’t have told me simply just to suck it up
or change my attitude because I was way too far gone,
I am sick, and I need help. By saying things like this,
by saying, “Just suck it up! or “Change your attitude”, you are constantly
contributing to the taboo. You would never say this
about any other patient. You would never call cancer patients
weak, pathetic people for being sick because you know they didn’t choose to be. They just got unlucky. What if I just got unlucky too? I’m at the hospital. I’m here to get help. I was reluctant at first, but I realized that I was just
like a cancer patient; I was just like a person
with a broken leg, and this was the place
I was supposed to be. Here are people to take care of me. So, a second battle in my life begins. I start struggling with myself again,
trying to get out of the psych ward to just live a normal life
with this burden on my back. But I was able to do so. The social taboo surrounding
depression, as I said, crystallizes in the way people talk about it. I decided, when I came out
of the psych ward, that I was not going to be
one of those people. I was going to be the person
who will change the world. I was going to use this
to help other people. What we need to do is we need to deconstruct these padded walls
surrounding mental illness, and we need to do it together. We need to climb these walls
whether our legs are broken or not. I believe that we can do that. I stand here before you today so thankful
that my friend picked up the phone; I’m so thankful for
all the help that I received, and ultimately, I am thankful
for being depressed because it’s a part of me, just as much as my ten toes or the freckles I get on my nose
during the summer. This is me. This is who I am. I encourage you to walk out of here today and break this social taboo
that surrounds mental illness because we need to grasp the concept that mental illness is
an illness not a choice. I also stand here
before you today to tell you if you’re feeling depressed,
things are going to get better. Things always get better. Talk to the people around you,
talk to your friends, your family. Our feelings are our most
purest form of expression. We should never hide them. I’m not going to lie to you: being depressed and feeling
suicidal is the worst. This is a lifelong battle,
an endless struggle, a daily war you wage against yourself. But the secret is that it is a war where anyone
can prove to be a hero. It is a war where anyone can stand up
and be a winner. Much like a cancer patient who has fought
and struggled his or her entire life, depressed people can do that too, and we can come out on the winning side. What I want for all of us
to walk out of here today with is that I want us to walk into a world where there is no difference made
between physical health and mental health, where those things are just as important. And I want us to live in a world where there is no social distinction made between calling your doctor
and calling your psychiatrist. I believe that together
we can make that happen. Thank you. (Applause)

100 comments

  1. Wonderful talk. Thank you. I've had a very similar journey. End the silence and reduce stigma! I work with The National Alliance on Mental Illness.

  2. I have anyone close to me. I do have people who "contribute" to my eagerness to follow through. So easy to say, "get help". Not going to happen if you have no means of paying or paying your bills while you get help. So, how does it get better? Talk to the people around you? They say you are crying wolf or "call 911", "just do it".

  3. The only reason i am alive today, is because i dont have the courage to commit suicide, if i commit it i dont want come out more damaged than i am already. jumping and surviving,

  4. When she said depression is an illness that you deal with your entire life, that really destroyed my morale. I have been battling depression for about a year with no end in sight. I have tried medication, diet, exercise, vitamins ect.. with little to no success. I completely lost sight of who I once was and forgot what happiness feels like. I can't imagine enduring this pain for another 60 years or so. Holy shit, that's like the mental equivalent of being sentenced to life in prison without parole. I can't do it. Suicide seems to be the only rational response in order to put an end to this madness.

  5. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It´s very important. Socially stigmatizing experiences need to become a part of our common discourse. We all need more information.

  6. Nice talk but i never heard anybody talking about the path they walked when they went to the doctor. What was it like? What did they do to him / her? What medication and what treatment did that person had? When I went to the doctor with my depression and panic attacks, I had SSRI and I have to tell you, that just locked me up in my room. I could not leave it I was so afraid when I started the pills and later it just got worse, I had constant dream paralysis and I was useless… So I left the pills slowly behind and it got a bit better. Later I went back to the doctor with minor issues, for a slight sedative as I was nervous all the time. Than the doctor prescribed me an SNRI. I had to take the quarter of the minimum dosage… The quarter… And from that quarter I has a serotonin syndrome. I almost killed myself due to the anti-depressant… I hat terrible hallucination and suicidal voices in my head that I never had before. From there on I was on sedatives for a while and pills that slowed down my heart since the serotonin syndrome gave me heavy palpitation. I went home and climbed 3 floors as I lived on the third floor. From the pills my hart hardly pumped enough blood and I was passing out. So from that point I left the pills behind. I was shaking for 2 months and crying inside for the sedatives but I resisted. Doctors wanted to try a third anti-depressant and I told them that I either die or live but I will not be a lab rat again. Since than I tried to work with a therapist but that did not work out as well. It was useless… I started the mind control techniques and meditation. It is still a battle within myself even after 6 months but I started to reconstruct my life and my lifestyle. I`m not taking any pills that has a suicidal side effect. What is the point? I rather change my mind for myself as it had to be changed by some factors from outside. So I can make it and I can feel that I can make it. And if I can make it than anybody else is capable to do so. Now days there are more happy feelings are on the scale than depressing feelings. I hope nobody else had to go through that horror that the anti-depressant gave me, this is just my short story but pills just took me to the abyss. Cognitive therapy might be similar to meditation. It is hard in the beginning but it does worth the effort.

  7. The only way the random varied horrible collective symptoms currently referred to as depression as an illness is if she is referring to the illness of the culture -but she's not in fact she's spouting the utter nonsense of the drug companies – namely depression is a mental illness and its all about a disordered brain and chemical imbalances – this is beyond belief in the 21st century – is she the daughter of some drug company like that other fella that wrote the noonday demon?

  8. i find myself in every word you said. I've been depressed for 2 months, nobody even knew, I even tried to commit suicide, 'coz i thought that the world is better off without me. 😔 (sorry for bad english)

  9. Your analysis is incorrect. Depression is not like cancer. It is not an illness in the correct sense of the word. Indeed, please do not promulgate such misinformation.

  10. That was an excellent presentation. I understand depression and the stigma that comes with it. I have sunk into the well of sadness many times, but thankfully come out of it again and live my life again for awhile in what I call my 'strong self'. I hope every time to never have the feeling that depression gives again. I wish you the best and stay strong.

  11. Hey :).

    I am sorry… this going to be a ridiculos question… request.

    Could please somebody explain to me what happiness is or discribe being happy?

    I thought I only know happiness and a grey much on the other end, but as I see her talking about being happy – how she smiles amd her eyes light up – I am not that sure anymore…

    Thank you in andvance.

    Have a day…. weather it be wonderful, horrible or just ok. 🙂

  12. so thankful for this. it was amazing. gave me so much hope I can tell it has saved me. this literally changed me. thank you loads. you are a Angel xxx

  13. Many people suffer from depression as a result of a lack of self esteem. Not so in my case. I actually feel fine about myself. Yet depression persists – because, in my mind, life sets one condition upon us – that we face fear – that what is required of us then is – chutzpah. Death would be, in my mind, an equitable trade for life under such a condition and would be opted for if I thought, even for an instant, death was real. But this, in my mind, is not the case. Could this an illustration of insanity? I do not know. Answers . . . I've got nothing.

  14. Great presentation.I would like to help.please buy a KJV bible the word of god teaches no person can have joy unless they glorify god.If you believe the gospel and become born again the Holy Spirit of comfort falls on you and stays with you.God bless beautiful women.Neil x

  15. What she says is so inspiring and true… but by looking at the video a thought was going thru my mind that I had to stop the video.

    this video is only for those who are suffering depression while at the same time having a well-off life and a total support of family, friends and health system.

    Then she says people tend to alienate themselves. Have you ever tried to ask a random stranger on a street for help? probably not cause everything was already pre-helped for you. you probably had to make one remark and 20 people were around you.

    TED should invite people with more credible backgrounds cause this video reminds me of Donald Trump saying: I started off small, my dad gave me a small loan of million dollars.

  16. Dear Silla. Many thanks for this performance!
    It's amazing how people living in different parts of the world are alike. Four years ago, when I was 21, in June, I ate my last supper and three packs of sleeping pills. All thoughts to the one that you voiced, and I said to myself. I'm glad that I'm not alone =)
    Thank you again, I will be able to defeat this disease too!

  17. These people who speak up about their experiences of mental illness and suicide are really brave. This is not easy. It is a very hard thing to do to break your silence about your situation. The stigma and taboo is huge in probably all societies.

  18. it has gotten to the point where ive had to make my parents believe im not depressed anymore and that the pills help, when im closer and closer to suicide every day, because they tell me i need to take these worthless pills and that my therapist will help blah blah blah

    nothing helps anymore
    ive found things that helped but they go away
    it always ends

  19. …попытки разговора на наболевшую тему с т.н."родными" и "близкими" и поспособствовали тому, что мой некогда крепкий дух сломился в сторону суицида. Уберегло банальное знание. Знание "благоприятных исходов" тех или иных способов. Было, как и у девушки, это стойкое осознание, что у меня даже тут ничего не получится, и я попаду именно в тот процент людей, который останется страдать инвалидом до конца своих дней. Я и так здоровьем не блещу и часто испытываю муки от обострения разных хронических заболеваний, поэтому мысль о ещё больше аде, сотворённому моими же руками, оставила меня продолжать страдать в меньшей степени на этой планете. А депрессия – всё-таки блажь. Блажь для слабых духом. Когда у меня начали умирать один за одним реально близкие и родные – это меня не сломало, но когда у меня появилась новая хроника, лишающая меня единственной отдушины в виде моего призвания, то я сломалась, а потом стала медленно тонуть в пучине депрессии. Из неё нельзя выбраться, хватаясь за ту самую сломанную основу личности. Надо отстраивать её заново и стараться не ухудшить своё состояние ещё больше. Сравнение с ногой очень похоже. Вот только в моём случае пришлось отращивать ногу заново несколько лет. Без внешних врачей и медикаментов. Я пошла к врачу, как только мне стало лучше, чтобы найти сил для этого. Мне некому было позвонить и попросить о помощи, у меня самой не было на это сил… Сейчас мой психотерапевт не верит, что я переживала такое состояние, но он не был в моей шкуре. Он сказал, что я крайне редкий процент людей по своей силе. Но теперь уже я ему не верю: я обычный человек, которому просто не оставалось выбора, как продолжать жить. Парадоксально: внутреннее одиночество, которое нас ломает, нас же и уберегает от самоуничтожения. Оно как паразит, который берёт ровно столько, чтобы хозяин не подох и продолжал быть конкурентноспособным, а иногда даже придаёт ему силы, когда чувствует опасность для собственной жизни. Очень хорошая лекция. Очень добрая и трогательная. Невольно накатывали слёзы каждый раз, когда я видела их в глазах рассказчицы. Это как пуповина, которая соединяет души людей в конкретный момент. Ощущается внутреннее родство с человеком, который пережил такую же боль. Спасибо девушке за откровение!

  20. You made some good points but you are not broken and your brain is not broken. Also, there’s no such thing as a chemical balance. Most psychiatrists know this.

  21. Я понимаю, что депрессия это серьезно, но сравнивать ее с раком нельзя. Чтобы вылечиться, ты можешь обратиться к психологу или психотерапевту и пройти курс лечения и выздороветь, в то время, как у больных раком людей нет уверенности на 100% в том, что они смогут вылечиться, если к примеру пройдут курс лечения химиотерапии.

  22. My local health service would prefer my suicide as most don't understand, neither my family either…oh well we all disappear.

  23. After my Grama died I finally told my aunt that I wanted to see a councilor. And she said "Oh just because of Grandma?" and I said "No, because of my whole life." My Grandmother's death was what finally broke me after carrying around all this pain for going on 8 years. (i'm 25)
    I saw a school councilor for a single year in grade school and everyone assumed that was a fix-it-all solution. My family especially thinks that if you take pills, that somehow magically makes all the problems go away. I was never allowed to talk about my feelings growing up because it was always thrown back in my face as my fault.
    If I hadn't gotten out of there and found friends that actually loved me it would have killed me.
    And I'm now currently looking for a councilor.

  24. Thank you silja, you're great ♡ I know exactly what you mean. In such situations you can't really think if it's wrong, the depression has the power and you just react. That's aweful! But we're alive and do have good times as well. Never give up! Lots of love from Germany ♡♡♡

  25. I went to The therapist a couple times but that didn’t really help me because It was very hard to talk about my feelings. So I don’t know what to do.

  26. Fun fact. I've just spend over hour describing my whole life and depression in comment section under this video. And when I finished that TLDR elaborate of helpless emptiness I miss clicked and switched to another video and lost it all. Actually It's not funny. But I feel better. May be because of few pills of Guaifenesinum and valerian root.

  27. This is the best depiction of what it feels like to be ready to take your own life I've ever heard. This young woman is spot on and so eloquent in her portrayal of despair, hopelessness, and suicidal ideology. I have experienced every level of depression from having a blue day that turns into weeks and months that can escalate into exactly what she describes; that you are so miserable you feel everyone would be better off without you. Nothing takes away the pain. You don't want to die. You want to live. But you can find no way to do that living with the pain. I have tried every treatment short of electro shock available. I was willing to go to that level when I finally was hospitalized. Intense therapy, medication, tenacity and working to get out of a toxic marriage was my prescription. I can happily say I'm in remission. My prayer every day is to stay here. But alas, there are no guarantees. It's remission, not a cure. Bravo to Silja for her brave battle fought and using her pain for purpose!

  28. You're one smart and articulate young lady. Loved your analogy of your broken brain, broken soul broken leg etc. I went through a period of depression in my teens. No one noticed until I took a bunch of pills in class allergy pills. My grandmother swung to the rescue. She noted that I have high goals and felt overwhelmed. Her cure for my depression was to give me tasks. Bake her cakes that she would share proudly with her friends. She told me one thing that cured my depression and helped me learn how to cope when I get depressive thoughts. Three single words. 'I will try' that has been my cure and I hope others will find those three words healing.

  29. There is a strong connection between loneliness, lack of friends/family and depression. So it is kinda glib to simply say "Access your friends and family". She was lucky to have some and maybe that is why she is on the TED stage and got over HER depression. Nice voice, sweet attitude but I must say her mental hospital experience was benign compared to the way they treat most people, and that is with the kind of built in contempt that proves they don't care about you one tenth as much as their paycheck.

  30. A great video, of which I know I relate to so thank you for posting this. I thought the broken leg analogy was a great way to describe how you mask the pain of which I 100% understand. At the end of each working day I just feel so exhausted. I'm hiding it all from my colleagues and everyone around me. Even to the people who know that I suffer, I still put on this bright positive face in front of them despite the fact that it doesn't reflect how I am inside. No one wants to be perceived as the doom and gloom person in any group as the last thing anyone wants is to be alone while you have dark thoughts. The only person I can reveal my true state of mind to is my therapist.

  31. Nice job.. so very well said. You have to care a lot about people you don't know, to give and share so much of how you are to help. I really feel for you.. I feel for all of us in this darkness. I pray we hold on long enough to get better.. hang on everyone.😢😢😢😢😢

  32. “Simply Thankyou”

    Introduction:
    After more than twenty years of fighting depression, many psychologists and many psychiatrists and so many cycles of medication, this simple personal insight brought me home!

    To all those beautiful people who have suffered from depression I would like to say “Thankyou, Simply Thankyou” for doing such a wonderful job. Thankyou for being such beautiful and courageous messengers , such shining beacons!

    I hear your pain , I have felt your pain, and now I hear your message and I hear it loud and clear for your message is simply the pain of humanity and the way it has to live now. The way we are living now is so wrong, so wrong, there is so little human-ness left in the way we live. We need to change, and we need to change now! So now relax in the knowing of a job well done, your message has been heard, that there has never been anything wrong with you, you are simply a gifted messenger!

    I know that place you go to; that deepening, darkening tunnel, which you shuffle down with trembling knees, and your body full of terror and panic. I know that place you go to, where the tunnel ends, where your bare feet are on solid ground but your toes are dangling over nothingness, an empty abyss, and it is so dark and frightening. Then dimly just ahead there is a feint outline, misty at first, that slowly forms into a shape, a doorway, and it's only about five feet away.

    And I know that moment when you are rocking on the balls of your feet, trying to decide wether to jump or not. “ I wonder if I can leap across in one bound or shall I take a few steps back and take a running jump?”
    Then for some reason, you stop rocking and plant your heels firmly back on the ground, and from somewhere deep, deep inside you grab hold of something primal, something essential and you turn around facing back the way you came and take a deep breath. I thank you in this moment for choosing to return to life rather than taking the leap of death.
    All ahead is blackness and you squint your eyes and then dimly percieve a minute spec of light, so small you are not sure it is real at all. So you slowly retrace your steps, and that little spec of light gets bigger and bigger as you shuffle fearfully upwards.
    You are heading back to the light and it is your light, and it is getting brighter and brighter until it's the colour of Cornish Ice cream and you can feel it's warmth enfold you, and suddenly you are out of the tunnel, back in the gallery of life.
    So you take your light and sit down, and relax and look back at where you came from. The tunnel is gone, the entrance has been bricked over, then plastered over and some artists have painted a mural over the place honouring the purpose of the tunnel.

    You are Home, you are safe! Well done and Simply Thankyou!

    Namaste' Bob and Barnaby Eden. Woof.

  33. "You're weak! You even can't hurt yourself!" That voice is rolling in my head every single morning. I'm so scared of myself. Sadly people really thought deppression is completely taboo.

  34. Thank you, dear Silja, for this hard and truthful presentation. Being in depression (right now) is the worst thing that ever happened to me. When you're afraid, angry, hurted and.. just broken. Like if your whole life was burned into 1 minute.
    Honestly speaking, many years passed since humanity learned about such kind of desease. We're not alone, there's millions of us making war with ourselves daily, each minute. So WHY this problem is still so hided?

    Thank you on more time for that truth. I'm really happy for you who crashed this desease and was able to win in a war!
    Great one!

  35. Сводить депрессию к неправильным мыслям в корне неверно. А ещё я считаю оскорблением и невежеством когда специалисты говорят о суицидальных мыслях. Всё со стороны выглядит не так, как оно есть на самом деле – как будто у тебя неправильные мысли и негатив от них. Депрессия – это не мысли, не плохой сон или аппетит. Это ощущение. Всепоглощающее. Неважно какими мыслями оно сопровождается. Мысли могут быть индикатором депрессии, но это не сама депрессия. Если ты видишь дым, то это не значит что в источнике этого дыма лишь дым.

    Вот откуда идёт табу.

  36. Everything thing she say is absolutely true ,I found myself in every bit of word ,when she said finally I'm happy I'mhappy😢😢 I couldn't control my tears ,one day hope I'm gonna say that

  37. I, myself do not have depression, but I choose to learn and understand my best about depression because I know many people in my life who suffer from it, and it kills me not being able to understand them. It’s hard hearing the person you’re in a relationship with not be able to get out of bed and constantly saying she can’t do anything. I wish I could help. I know it’s not easy or maybe even possible, but I know all I can do is do my best to understand how they are feeling.

  38. The stigma surrounding mental health confuses me.

    After my first battle with depression, I promised myself that I would never hide the fact I was , or am , broken.

  39. Becoming a mother had me facing an identity crisis, as I embraced my new role..I knew since this resembled uncontentedness I had to face it alone.. I was merely at a crossroads coming to terms with a new dimension of myself when I had already defined my 'self'.. I am fortunate to be a writer so I was able to sort this out being FRIEND to myself. I worry for those who do not have Art or God to commune with

  40. People Don’t Want to
    Kill Themselves They Just Don’t Know How to Kill the Pain!!!!!!!!!

    Every Thunderstorm
    Runs Out of Rain!!!!!!

  41. One of the most powerful thought provoking speeches on this subject I’ve ever heard. I’ve suffered with depression and this really hit home . I can’t thank you enough for sharing this you are an inspiration to so many people x

  42. Among the best speeches and videos on the subject. My experiences over the the last 30+ years have not been as rewarding as the speaker. Only meds and asylums that have led to homelessness and poverty. But hopefully the newer and younger sufferers will have more positive options and outcomes

  43. One of the best TED Talks I've watched. But I'm quite curious about it being delivered in English. Is English so commonly spoken in Iceland that such a presentation is given in English rather than a native tongue?

  44. No BODY Needs U! My dad did that with me and within only 5 Days, i then started to think about suicide, even train and exercise on a daily Day and night on all kinds of suicide until i did it!

  45. Sometimes i wish if i was born a little early or if a little far in the future. My life is surrounded by problems very difficult to explain to people. I am so tired.

  46. You have described this state of depression so very well. Thank you for 'coming out' something many of us are so frightened to do.

  47. This is so profound I can't believe person's actually touch d thumbs down button. I'm battling with depression myself

  48. For the first time, someone understands a suicidal. People say they’re so selfish, don’t they think about their loved ones. That’s the problem. We think the world, including our family and friends, would be better off without us. Some of us went through with it and they’re not here to tell the tale. I was stopped in time and feel the need to tell the world to stop judging us. Instinctively, would a healthy happy person want to die? All mammals fear for their lives, so unless the pain is so much to bear, no one would want to die. Some of us just feel like we can no longer go on.

  49. The NHS in England only give you 6 to 12 session's of therapy depending on how much you need. So unless you have private health care you better get healthy PDQ. I am waiting to go for help, I hope I get it right this time.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *