The 2 Sides Of Suicide. It’s The Elephant In The Room And We All Need To Be Able To Talk About It…

hey everybody its jeremiah levin this is
tape number six i think anyway September is Suicide Prevention Month for those
who know and those who don’t know no you don’t anyway it’s a touchy touchy
subject that people don’t want to talk about sometimes if sube commit suicide
family members don’t like to acknowledge what they did but anyway I think at some
point we all say we’re gonna kill ourselves it’s kind of a normal human
reaction type of thing but there’s some people that really mean it I mean on
both sides of the fence my brother committed suicide when I was 22 and he
was 24 and 25 and he was involved in a lot of drugs and he ended up taking his
own life on Friday September the 13th which is basically coming up soon and so
he hung himself and I made my mother my father myself I have no upper siblings
we found him and I’m telling you it’s not a pretty sight when you find simply
hung himself it’s a touchy subject for me to talk about but you know I think we
need to talk about it and so comfortable but life isn’t comfortable sometimes too
so I just want to say that my brother first commit suicide I was angry I was
angry because I was hurt I was angry because my parents were devastated I was
angry that he changed the dynamics of the family he changed others as a whole
as a family he also took something away from me as I said in those videos I was
for to be dead before before I had 35 it was just a nice thing in my head it was
gonna happen anyway so he committed suicide
and I thought worth selfish act it was all about him he did it his way and he
didn’t care about anybody else what thankful or think he didn’t care about
the devastation he was leaving behind and that was a way that I thought at the
time then fast forward I get diagnosed with bipolar I have a hard time
accepting bipolar and my mother passed away when my exes we broke up after two
years and I was going through a lot I just make him bipolar decisions I was
buying a motorcycle as fucking vacations I was lately changing my name
and these are all big signs something’s not right
anyway but forward to January 13 2012 13 2013 sorry anyway I decided that night
I’ve had enough of life and I wanted to be with my mother and my brother so I
took an overdose what happened paramedics got to me they
worked out there I took over 300 prescription drugs and at that time when
I did it I was thinking I was doing everybody a favor
I wasn’t thinking about me it was nothing to do with me it’s just that I
felt like I was a failure that I felt like I was a burden to people that I
felt like that they would be better off if I wasn’t around that I was holding
people back that I was being selfish and for me to go is me that was given
something somebody else it was a rapid decisions
that I made it a lot of times suicide is a snap decision it’s not always somebody
sits down and thinks about it but when you do think about it it really is not
about the person committing suicide or trying to take his over mind for
something he/she really really really feels deep down that they are doing
everybody else a favor it’s not a selfish act it’s nothing to do with them
trying to hurt anybody it’s nothing to do with them trying to
be a martyr or anything they’re just basically thinking they’re doing for
good for somebody else so that’s why it’s a touchy touchy subject if people
don’t admit that they thought about committing suicide or they’ve tried to
commit suicide it’s a taboo subject people look at you weird when they find
out I don’t tell many people I gather now tell me everybody but it’s something
that I was ashamed of but now I’m not ashamed of because my life changed my
life turned around I realize afterwards I did not want to die it made me really
focus on my well-being of my health is really focused of getting the people
around me that were positive for me it was a change in dynamics of my life it
was like waking up so to people that have looked 1 2 passed away or have
tried to commit suicide I really wish that you would look and I’m not
promoting this whatsoever I’m saying do not do it find the help that gratifies
psychiatrist or therapist so I’m just help with great family friends work
colleagues anybody and just really really fight to stay alive
but if somebody has passed away I look at my brother and I just think of him as
he must have thought he was doing as a favor he really thought that he’d be we
would we would be better off without him and so like I had anger for him and now
I don’t have anger I was devastated it’s still sad it still affects me to this
day but I can honestly say I’ve seen it from both sides of the fence I’ve seen
it by losing a really really close family member to suicide am i safe on
the other side of where I tried it I try to commit suicide thankfully for me it
didn’t work but now I am my duty to myself is to talk about it and to reach
out to other people and tell them it’s not the end of the day there are phone
numbers you can contact their help groups you can contact their therapist
psychiatrist is friends get yourself some green clothes close friends that
you can be honest with and tell them everything but so I’m hoping that this
is cleanness of light to everything and what I call suicide prevention September
is the month for it so let’s hope we channel to the person next to you
whether you know the person or not and just basically say hey how are you and
just see how the reaction though because if they’re not looking comfortable
there’s not all right and you know let’s reach out at the time healthy chipper
and let’s make the suicide not a taboo subject and let’s talk about it
because unless you talk about it nobody gonna know
anyway such a subject I hope what I’m saying resonates with somebody as I say
this is my fault by Cola this is not somebody else’s bipolar I’m just talking
from my point of view and how I feel and how I act so anyway I’m gonna go now so
again thank you for my follows my shares my looks my likes my everything that you
guys do my messages my telling me that I’m doing a good thing cuz sometimes I
doubt myself and you know what sometimes you need a little pat on the back all right
anyway you guys take her remember you’re special and you need it and you are
loved and wanted and you have to love yourself alright you take a thank-you
speech you soon

One comment

  1. I'm sorry the vocal is slightly out of sync. Not sure how that happened but I don't want to redo the video as everything came from my heart and not rehearsed. Thank you for taking the tie to watch my videos. If you haven't can you please Subscribe..

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