Hey guys, my lovely lovely little bees, [Laugh] Buzz, buzz. Okay How’s it going today? Good? Yeah. Today I want to talk to you about social dysphoria. That’s that topic we talk about often but I never really talk about it, so [umm] what is social dysphoria? First of all so- basically social dysphoria is [Umm] Being in society- being in a social environment. Going to school, family gatherings, Anything that’s really like, social. Going to clubs, anything like that and having dysphoria around that. Here’s the thing: a lot of people online who say that they don’t feel dysphoria, I think they’re talking about body dysphoria and I can understand not having body dysphoria. Be like, super comfortable with your body Cool. You do you you. Do whatever you need to do. But if somebody says that they want to transition and they don’t have body dysphoria, in my opinion, I think that they have social dysphoria. Because social dysphoria is when somebody in society misgenders you or says [Uhh] your birth name or refers to you in a feminine matter and something that you’re not comfortable with. That is dysphoria right there it’s uncomfortable- it’s distress and that’s what the definition of the word “dysphoria” [is] because think about: It’s gender dysphoria. That’s what we’re taught- that’s a diagnosis of you know.. Trans!! basically and.. transitioning. Whatever. [Umm] and… We have- we’re allowed to have social dysphoria as well. So I am remembering my old 15 year old self realizing i was trans I was a little conflicted because I liked my titties and I… didn’t want to shave my- [Incoherent stumbling] I didn’t want to NOT shave my armpits. And I liked shaving my legs and it was- it was- it was a strange place to be because Did I think those things because society made me? Probably or did I just really like those things? I think that I- I- I’m not gonna deny, I did like my titties. I’ve talked about this in the past in my videos before I went to surgery because it was one of the things i was super scared about I didn’t wanna lose nipple sensation which is why I [postponed] surgery for, you know, an extra year but I think that, when we talk about social dysphoria, that is something that I [sings] suffered frooom Since I was 15 because, I want people To see who I am. And they’re seeing someone else. And that is hard. And i think that a lot of people who don’t understand like pronouns and why respecting pronouns and names are important. Calling them a different name, like let’s say your dad’s name is Chad or something like that, and you start calling him Steve. Is that going to be comfortable for him? No! He’s gonna uncomfortable Who are you talking about? You
started using like-like “she/her” pronouns for him. Do you think he’s gonna be happy? No! and- sometimes people couldn’t understand. And they’re like “Oh I get it I get it’s uncomfortable when you’re called a pronoun that you don’t identify with, I get it.” Other people would be like [dumb voice] “Yeah but it’s not the same!” Whatever. Those people. But for so many years in- in- in high school in college and university, not being referred to as the person that I was was the hardest thing ever and… The social dysphoria that I had really helped me… Physically… transition… and deal with- with- with my- with my physical dysphoria. Which is a weird thing to say, but listen: I had social dysphoria. I didn’t like people seeing me a certain way, I wanted people to see how I imagined myself and how I knew I was supposed to be This pushed me to deal with my… physical dysphoria of not being on hormones. And they’re so interconnected that it was so important for me to go on hormones and it pushed me. The social dysphoria pushed me to go on testosterone and I’m so happy that it did and because of that I was able to start testosterone in 2010 and- and be more myself and finally look like the person I knew I was supposed to be for ever And once that change happened, the social dysphoria kind of slowly started to go away. And I made this video I’ve talked about this like three times on my channel and in panels that I do I always kind of talk about “what is dysphoria?” People try to always- [Let me] explain what is dysphoria? Well I imagine being in a cage and I see who I’m supposed to be on the other side. Every single step in my transition that I take, a bar gets taken away. So I’m able to walk through that cage one day and finally be that person. Well, every single thing that I did, every little change that happened during my hormone replacement therapy was another piece of the bar going away. Bars and then I could finally- So close to reaching that person. So going on testosterone relieved my social dysphoria. Which is funny because even though I’ve been on T for over seven years and I’ve had top surgery four years ago, I changed my name and gender marker three years ago, I still feel social dysphoria. And I think it’s more of- of- of an uncomfortable feeling around people and especially around cismen. Which I’m really trying not to conflate with social anxiety because I do have social anxiety. I know, I look like such a- like “ah!” person but I’m alone in my room right now with my camera and the two cats are on the bed. Like, this is my life. This is what i like to do, I like going outside. [If] there’s too much social interaction, I need to go home I need to not see people for a week So I’m trying not to conflate what I’m talking about right now with social anxiety. So the social dysphoria that I have is related to my transition because I am uncomfortable around cismen Because I don’t know how to react and I don’t know how to talk to people, and it is related to social anxiety obviously But, it is something that makes me very dysphoric because I feel like I can’t enter a space with a lot of cismen without feeling so left out. And maybe it’s not because I’m trans, maybe it’s because I’m more feminine and more flamboyant and I express myself, I talk about my emotions and I talk about things that…Cismen don’t talk about. I cry, I- Whatever. All of these things like “Not all Cis” I know, but you know what I’m saying. So for me it’s super important to be in line with myself and never change myself. So I don’t want to go into this space and change and that’s I feel what the issue is and The issue is that I’m finally comfortable of being myself yet I have to enter this space and change myself. And the changing of myself is the social dysphoria That’s not gonna happen because I have worked so hard for so long and so many years to be the person that I am, and I am so happy with the person that I am, and the things that I’ve done, and the way I look, and it just feels so good to be me. Don’t want, to have to flip that over, I don’t want to have to I- To go stealth and and hide myself because to me, for me personally (not all trans people are like this), but when I don’t tell people that I’m trans, I feel like I’m hiding a huge part of myself that’s super important to me because it’s so part of my identity, I identify so much with it. So when i was in Slovakia over Christmas over the holidays and I had to be stealth and not be out as trans to people, it was very hard and it’s- ironically enough it’s like they- They don’t know that I’m trans and that’s what makes me, like, give me social dysphoria. It was really weird. Anyways, Do you have social dysphoria? What is your definition of social dysphoria? Is this something that I’m missing? Did I talk too much about one thing and not the other? I want to know what you think in the comments below and I want us to have a discussion about this because it’s super important. Social dysphoria… Yeah, let me know what you think! I hope you have a great day! Thank you so much for joining me and I will see you later! Bye!!