Schizophrenia : Psychosis and Troubles

Hi, it’s Emily and I’m schizophrenic. I
realized It had been about seven months since my last video and I think my last
video was about a medication change but since that last video I haven’t been
taking any medication except the lorazepam like the tiny blue pills when I
need it um so that’s been yes seven months medication for seven months but only
recently I talked to my psychiatrist and we were talking about some sort of mood
stabilizers instead because I’ve been feeling really on edge so we decided to
like go back on my olanzapine but I think it was 15
milligrams but the first tablet I took it made me feel so sick and I fainted
about five times that day and had two panic attacks so I decided not to take
that anymore so I’m basically not any medication right now obviously I feel
like I shouldn’t take the medication because of I don’t like the way it makes
me feel but then also I realize it stops little things from happening like like like seeing things well I am like seeing
things but not as severely as I was before so that’s why I decided there was
no point for medication especially because it makes me feel very I can’t
think straight when I’m on them everything’s very a delayed reaction I’ve got like notes written down because
otherwise I’ll forget what i’m talking about. so yeah recently well since I’ve been on
my medication I’ve been like getting nightmares and I cannot sleep for the life of me I’m really late and I just cannot seem to get sleep even if I’m
lying down and pretend I can pretend I’m asleep for about three hours and I just
won’t get to sleep so I have talked my psychiatrist I just about that but they’re not
doing anything about that. going to talk about backtracking on my
videos because obviously I couldn’t remember that much back then and it was
very kind of out of it but I said a lot of bad things I think about um the ward
um the mental health ward I was on but come to think of it now obviously I
wouldn’t want to go back I don’t want to go back but if I reached that point
where I have to obviously if it gets me better than I’d go but um I just had a
terrible experience not from the people who are around me like the staff and stuff
more a terrible mystery experience from myself how bad I was
everything just seemed like it was too much and I didn’t talk about CAMHS I
don’t think or PEIRS or the Crisis Team or anything I don’t think I explained it
properly but if we go all the way back to the start so when I was about 14 I
don’t know 15 maybe so I was 15 and actually I think I was 14 and I went to
college we’re not college because here it’s called college it’s like high
school so thing if even the one before college and things were starting to get bad for me
back then and an incident happened between me and somebody else and I I was
not to go back to school I think for about three months two months I think it
might have been two months but during that two months I was referred to CAMHS
which is a child adolescents mental health services and I was talking to I
had many different people I wouldn’t have the same person every time I went
for some reason and what difficulty was was trying to get them to understand
what was going on because they just wouldn’t believe me obviously because
you have no proof and back then my family didn’t believe that I was telling
the truth because I could not prove that I saw things or heard things to them or
I was feeling these strange experiences so it took me I was just there for ages
just telling them what everything that was going from my head not masking
anything I wasn’t on medication this was about a year nothing happened no
medication no nothing until I went to college my art college um and during my
art college I believe I had I didn’t eat for a while in college and that made me
very weak um and it was very stressful it wasn’t just college stress things
that happened but I’m not gonna talk about them things that happened that
were very extremely stressful and I think stress really brings it on a
lot I think stress is the main factor of
maybe why I even have this mental illness obviously you don’t know where
it comes from but I mean all the way back from where I got when I got taken
out of high school was because it was exam time coming up I think that was
stress as well that caused stress but anyway I’m in college I took there was a
lot of things going on I told my closest friends and the college what was going
on obviously I didn’t really know what was going on nobody told me anything I
had an idea obviously I would Google things why do I hear voices in head or
why am I seeing things that nobody else sees
obviously I kept saying obviously not I mean things would come up on the
internet and I just searched and searched wondering what the house was
but when I took my overdose of paracetamol that was it for me that was
I don’t know if I would have gotten proper help if I didn’t do that but all
I know is I did get help after that happened I was admitted Hospital just so
normal Hospital and I stayed there for about a week I do not remember that
point at all right imagine I was very out a bit very psychotic very not in my
own head but I do remember a woman coming to me she was discussing about a
mental health ward and if you if you say no I don’t want to go if you don’t
voluntarily go then they will section you and that’s when you you go in but
not by your free will so I agreed anyway so they wouldn’t section me but when you
get sectioned it means that when you’re in the mental
health ward that they can inject you when they like I think and they can
hold you for however long they want to however long they think you’re suitable
and if you want to leave after the end of the day they said it’s suitable for
you they can still hold you back into a still under section so when I went in there
was an under section anyway but in the first few days I realized that I do not
want to be in a mental health ward although it was the right thing right place for me
I should have definitely been that at that time I was not very safe to myself
for others but only for that period of time I’m I’m safe to everyone now but
when I get bad that seems like the only place where I am safe from myself and I
can be looked after properly and get the help that I need um but yeah it’s been
just section oh my gosh my my just gone blank I was taken by an ambulance the
first time by just sat in a seat everything was fine because I wasn’t
very troublesome the first time I went in and I was there for two months and I
got put on my first medication and seemed to help a little bit and yeah
first and got I got let out two months later I don’t think I should have been
let out but I was very keen to leave because I just wanted when you’re in a
mental health ward everything familiar kind of gets taken away from
you and when your family or friends or anything comes to visit it’s not for
that long it’s a certain amount of time and it’s kind of limited but towards the end
of being in a mental health ward um you get leave which is when you can go home for
periods of time like you maybe get an hour of leaves you maybe not go home
because I’m very far away from that ward um you get leave so maybe go round the
shops that are close by or go for a walk then two hours and three hours and then
weekends or just days then weekends and then eventually they’ll see they’ll see
if they’ll ask if you how I’ve been doing at home and everything was going
well for me so I got discharged I got taken off of my section and discharged on
the same day but they were trying to get my parents to sign some sort of paper I
haven’t seen him but they didn’t sign it it was some sort of paper that signs
move it to them so I could probably have been moved to anyway they would have
liked me doing you but my parents would not sign that then I got home I was home
for a few months I can’t remember exactly when I went back in again
but when I got back in again it was because I was just psychotic
again every day I cannot focus on anything else mostly mostly just
shouting and crying and just destroying a lot of things and I was not in college
I don’t think I did try to go back to college I went for one day but then I
realised I couldn’t because of this stressful situation that had happened I’m still thinking maybe about going
back to college I don’t know what I’d do though I don’t want to do art because
I’m quite happy with what I’m doing at home and I’m thinking of a a lot of
things like archaeology but you have to be had
to have a lot of things to go there so archeology I know I’ve been looking at a
lot of things but I forgot what I was saying before I was talking about college now
oh yeah the second time I went in I was in
hospital again a normal Hospital for about a week yeah and while they were
trying to find out where to put me but that was the worst I definitely cause
them a lot of grief in the hospital I was on a part of the hospital where the
doors would shut where you couldn’t open them unless you had a card just so then
everyone in there would be not be allowed to run around the hospital
um and I used to go up and down the halls and just shout and repeat actions make
loud noises and those one time which I pressed the fire alarm in that Hospital
which was awful because that’s a whole hospital um but the door was unlocked I
think we managed to call the people someone straight away and tell them it’s
not fire but I realized the doors I had unlocked because the fire alarm had gone
off so I kind of go out for a little bit but obviously short-lived I would have
gone anywhere anyway cuz I don’t know nowhere to go because I can’t remember
going in the hospital and so I would not know my way around but that time when I
got referred to a ward it was a CAMHS ward by the way when I
got referred to it I get referred to the walk same ward
each time it’s quite nice in there considering how terrible people say
it’s very nice and they definitely do the best that they can for you in there but the second time I went in I was
strapped to something in an ambulance and taken there I don’t know what it was
I was strapped to I don’t know why they strapped me either maybe I was sectioned
before I even I think I was sectioned before I even went in I don’t think I go
I say on at that time because I was so um kind of out out of my head I couldn’t
say what I wanted to say sort of thing um when I was in there that was just
it’s just the people that are in there I mean the staff very nice and but then
the patients in the world probably the best people I’ve met you can meet
because everyone just tries to help everyone and you know how it kind of
like force to be in see eachother every single day of the whole time you’re in
there since you wake up to when you fall asleep and you just kind of get a
connection with them and it’s nice I still keep in touch with a few people
from my stays at the ward how long is this this Oh 17 minutes I don’t even know what to
talk about I have so much as well but I didn’t write it down I had to clear a
few things up actually in a past video I was talking about the things I see and I
said angel Gabriel and then I said maybe like the one from the Bible
I didn’t mean angel Gabriel from the Bible I don’t think I just it’s just an
angel Gabriel okay I’m not I’m not religious and um I know
some of you very nice you talk about religious things in the comments but I’m
really not religious I don’t really intend to be and I think to myself I sound very
clearer now and my voice isn’t a slurred and I can speak faster since I’m not on
my medication and I can get things faster like think things fast forget the
answer things faster I mean people in the comments pointed out that I couldn’t
count because I was trying to count the years and I just couldn’t do it I kept
trying over again um but I’m very I can think in my mind now very quickly every
describing it would be before trying to think of a thought it would get stuck
say like a spider web and it’s trying to pass through no it’s just clear and I
can think about what I want to think I mean they’re the good things I guess
which has been happening since my last video but there is actually been quite a
few concerning things for example it seems to be at night or really early in
the morning I seem to feel very like disconnected from my own body and it
seems like everything is oh it’s very difficult to explain I tried to explain
it it feels like there’s a lot of things going around and around you but you just
can’t hear it or see it but it feels like a lots going on um
and then I like just kind of lose myself for like a moment and it didn’t feel
very good I do hear voices for that short period of time and see maybe
see things for example this was just at the weekend actually
um it seemed like I had I can’t remember that’s the bad thing about it I can’t
remember see if I’m on my own, I don’t know if it’s
happened or not it’s like I felt a lot of people around me and I couldn’t move
I was very rigid and I just kind of shut down for a bit and like um last night I
felt I was up until four o’clock in the morning and I couldn’t get sleep
everything felt really fast I wanted to run I just wanted to run about I’m not
an athletic person I just wanted to run about do as many things as possible I
couldn’t stop shaking my leg everything just felt my senses felt really
heightened that is what that’s the word I was looking for last night um it felt
like everything was my my eyes were sharper everything I could hear was more
it’s kind of more blurry actually and I couldn’t speak for a while like it um I
was on my own in my room but all I could say was like “fuh” “suh” like that and I
couldn’t say anything I was just that keeps happening recently I have
explained it to my psychiatrist I think that’s why they might have put me on
these mood stabilizers which are also answer got it my medication by not
taking them I refused to that made me feel terrible fainting and just feeling
absolutely pale white I know rather not if I can cope without it as
long as what I’m saying to myself is as long as I don’t feel like I have to do
with what the voices or things tell me to do as long as I don’t feel that need
even a little one then I won’t go on medication I would just
take like my little blue pill which is Lorazepam yeah
and that seems to calm me down but otherwise there’s just no need and
taking medication because I’ll feel really bad basically I feel like I’m
just useless cuz I cannot do anything I haven’t done art since seven months ago
or think before that maybe eight months ago and I’ve literally only started
doing it I just lost the drive for it and I could not I would try and draw
something it would just not look like how I wanted it to I’ve got the drive
back and doing a lot of our um I’ve got a lot of inspiration a lot of things
written down because I want to draw for example actually I drew I painted an
orange show you it it’s quite big it’s very shiny too but see I haven’t drew
all the painted in ages and just it feels so good to paint again just to get
it all out because it’s been stuck in my head but I haven’t been able to do
anything on the paper um I’m gonna start putting a few of my paintings on my Etsy
shop and try and sell them and many of you and really many of you been asking
about the lion painting that was behind me I’m on my other desk by the way that’s
why everything kind of looks different and many of you asked me about my lion
painting which was behind me but I’ve I recently sold it so I’m sorry if
anybody’s wondering about that yeah I sold that. what else.. I’ve been going out oh um I’ve
been finally feeling much happier myself and much more joyful most of the time I
mean sometimes I do everyone has their bad days I have my
bad days my bad days quite a bit but more good than bad I just feel more of
uplifted but don’t problem is it can just change in a second and I could
start feeling weird and then I just can’t do anything for the rest of the
day but yeah I said I just think it’s mostly stress that brings it on I can’t
think of what stress has been going on recently so I’ve just been sitting and
thinking what stress has been going on recently I just can’t think like stress
definitely is a big factor I think I said that before but it’s definitely a
big factor if I can avoid it I definitely would because I don’t want to
get bad again I try really hard I’m trying my best
I just oh I don’t want to be like that again well then obviously you can’t help
it when I am um I’m making this video as
well because I posted a thing on Instagram on my personal Instagram and
it just said I would make a video and thanks for all the nice messages I said
I’d make a video this month so I’m living up to my promise I’m making you a
video this month it’s been seven months since my last video but I honestly lost
the drive to do anything I’ll strive to do Art, Videos, Music just I didn’t even
listen to music actually throw this whole I just didn’t as in I listened to
it on the radio or if somebody was just playing on the TV but I wouldn’t
purposely listen to it I’m Headphone on it’s music no point to it I
didn’t think but got my Mojo back now I feel great
I’ll make more videos I think try and find some really important subjects to
talk about and just trying just try and spread this with everyone
does in I don’t exactly know what I’m trying to do by making these videos I’m
trying to do something I’m trying to make some sort of difference I don’t
know what kind of difference it will be but I want to do something I want to try
and just kind of educate people even just a little bit because obviously I’m
no psychiatrist all I know is I have this Mental disorder, Schizophrenia. and
that’s all I know I’m not certified to tell you what or what not to do but just
if you feel bad if you if you feel like there is something wrong anything just
talk about it someone anyone maybe contact your GP talk about it and if
you’re really concerned that you might have some mental illness or some big
issue that is affecting your day-to-day life please talk to someone it’s not
worth leaving it until it’s too late and and it’s much it’s much harder to
control it when it’s worse than it is better you may as well try and catch it before
it gets worst I mean it’s worth a shot nothing bad is gonna happen from it
most of the time meaning I know I didn’t want to talk about it to anyone because
I thought my friends might react differently but really my friends just
didn’t really care I mean they didn’t care in a bad in a bad way they just
it’s just Emily they didn’t think she’s a different person now I cannot trust
her or I will not be friends with her because of this they just said it’s just
it’s just you isn’t it it’s just me it’s just how I am
I’ve always been um they just accepted it but obviously it might be different
for different people yeah so I mean I would try and talk to
people when they reach out to me in messages I’m sorry if you have and you
have and I have not responded most of the time it’s because I don’t know what
to say I don’t know how I can help other people if I sometimes they can’t help
myself um I think now it’s so many messages me
um asking for advice I might just tell them me to talk to
someone because I’m not sure I’m supposed to do obviously I do try and
give people personal advice to them who furthers not much I can say considering
I mean it has been 2 years 3 years since it’s gone bad but I kind of reckon it’s
been unsteady my whole life it’s just these three years it’s gotten
more more visible to other people that there is something wrong so that’s
why it was it got difficult to try and because I tried to hide it you try and
push everything away there’s no problem here everything’s ok um I am just I’m
just perfect sort of thing but obvious is a lot of things going on and eventually
just can’t can’t keep up forever so if you are like denying that there was
something wrong to yourself maybe kind of think that you know that you’re
denying something to yourself you know that there’s something wrong and you are
denying it – so like you acknowledging that there’s something wrong
but you’re trying to hide it but you may as well try and reach out to someone
even if you don’t think they’ve going to be very helpful it’s very surprising
what telling someone can do it lets a lot of your chest you may get help from
it you may get medication you may get Oh some windows what it’s like not bottling
things up so I feel like I feel really good recently so I think I’m gonna make
more videos. I’m not going to leave at seven months this time I feel like
I’m gonna make videos more regularly is it not every week but at least not
leave people on just a blank blank page because I read a lot of comments you’re
wondering if I’m all okay wondering if I’m going to upload it again I’m really
sorry I just left without saying anything I just couldn’t do anything
about it I was not motivated at all so so yeah I think that’s it
if you are if I do not end up posting something for say seven months again I
probably won’t do before that but um if you kind of interested if I’m not
posting a video it’s more likely I’m posting something on Instagram about an
update instead of making a whole video about it because I had to kind of force
myself to make this video because I had like this kind of pressure on my throat
sort of thing and I just didn’t know what to say I just I couldn’t do it but
I guess I’m doing it now and yeah I don’t know what else to say so I might
end the video here I am gonna end the video here actually yeah
and I’ll see you all next time whenever that will be um I hope you all well and
I hope the best from you, bye. x


  1. You might want to try a drug called TetraHydroAcridine. It is said this medication counters the hallucinatory effects of the chemical weapon known as BZ, which creates effects identical to the worst forms of schizophrenia. I believe 100mg of TetraHydroAcridine is still only being used in trials to treat Alzheimers disease, but if you ask, you might be able to see if it helps treat the schizophrenia symptoms when they flare up. If you find TetraHydroAcridine works, then you would be doing a great service in helping others be able to treat that condition. 🙂

  2. I have a but of a problem. I am Xavier. I have a bit more then schizo but its complicated so I am just gonna simplify it by saying a stronger type of schizo effective. I feel like I am in a loop. I understand things I shouldn't. It started with the voices. But my research had consequences. Testing with meds. Testing with people. I know its wrong. To manipulate but understanding the causes and effects. The strings. I had to understand. But I hit a wall. A question i can't answer. And I'm going in a loop. I find myself repeating the same cycle. Always ending the exact same. No matter who or what I manipulate no matter how I change the situation it always ends the EXACT SAME. Knowing what I do, I am not satisfied with death. I am completely trapped. 100%. No escape from the constant loop. In scared honestly. Dementophobia. Fear of becoming insane but the constant loop and repeat is destroying everything. My medical conditions are eating away at my memories. Changing them. So many different scenarios. I couldn't find any therapist or amyone who could help me. At a certain point not even close to the end of my knowledge they hit a road block. They just don't know what to do. They dont understand at that point. Its like seeing stairs and being at the top and them being able to see u at the top but not being able to see the stairs. Even,if I show them the stairs, they can never seem to walk them

  3. Plz. I commented on ur latest video. If u can help me. Or try or can relate or know ANYONE. please help. Itd be greatly appreciated

  4. Hope you're doing well Christmas 2018. Be interesting how you doing as I don't have the condition, these videos has been educational.

  5. Stumbled upon your video. I had treatment resistant psychosis about two years ago; substance induced (long story) – I'm still medicated. I have the same issue with sleep when I don't take it, I'm sure it has something to do with the sedating nature of the medication opposed to physiological withdraw, considering it stays in your system for over 20 hours. My experience with it in general is varied, I've grown a tolerance but I'm it still effects me in a lot of ways and I do struggle with some everyday activities, but if it even has a chance of preventing further episodes, I have to take it. You mentioned the issues on the ward, and I couldn't agree more, it's overwhelming and things just get worse. It got to the point in which I was sectioned and moved to a smaller ward and I have to say that environment aided in my recovery, prior to that, nothing worked. I was able to interact with people there, help them as they helped me, and rediscovered a side of me that I still aspire to emulate. Although it was an immensely painful experience and I would never want to revisit it, it gave me more determination to pursue a career in Psychology and I recently completed my masters. I don't think anyone who hasn't experienced it knows how frightening it is, for me it was like being in a constant state of fight or flight. I wasn't able to trust anyone at it's worst. A lot of people I knew were conflicted, they couldn't quite match up my personality and how they knew me with what I experienced. Things change too, options do close and people perceive you differently but I've realized over time that things can and do get better, in time. I think it's a great idea to pursue University again, definitely take your time to make a decision on a subject, it's never a race. Finding purpose in something, anything, keeps you grounded. As far as medication, it's always worth giving it a try for at least 2-4 weeks. I really admire your ability to share your experience, it takes courage and it does help people. Your advice is solid, talking to someone is the first step. I hope you keep well.

  6. Lol – being schizophrenic is normal, here, on the internet. It's just another kind of fetish, nearly not the scariest one.
    A lot of your hallucinations you've experienced are familiar to me. They were scary until I tried to test and inspect them. Once I understood them they stopped being scary.
    Don't be affraid and just go forward to your fears, you'll see they're not as scary as they seemed. (except killing yourself lol, don't try it, yet there's also nothing scary about death also, the only interesting thing in life is people, and they are mostly mean and stupid. So you don't lose much dying)
    Btw, now I can force hallucinations and other specific feelings you're talking about, and it feels cool. Feeling them so realistic means you have great fantasy.
    Try to not afraid, eat more, care less. Love from Ukraine.

  7. ive been to a mental hospital about 4 yrs ago due to overdose diff issue… and well i learned to know the difference between mental health and spiritually gifted. just do that research. you remind me of the young me. i hope you can see what im talking about..
    also have you ever had leg tremors only when you lay down the buzz.. ? i found out wat it had came from.. but just wondering.. are you left handed?

  8. can you make out atoms.. sparkles in the middle of the air that will SOMETIMES form a body figure… like a moving sparkle in the air of the corner of your eye will catch your attention?
    im not religious i just focus more on spirituality. you have to believe in other dimentions and or ghosts?

  9. You should see a homeopathic healing doctor if you can find one. I bet it would help you with your on edge feeling or panic attacks. Trust yourself when it comes to pharmaceutical meds and the way they make you feel. Do what you feel is best for yourself.❤

  10. Could i ask you a question? Do you remember the first attempts of schizophrenia? My mind is really messed these days. I dont want to eat, i dont want to sleep ext. Actually i cant live life in usual. I also speak to myself too often. There are three types of me and they try to direct me to something. Doctor says nothing certain about my ilness but I've doubts about schizophrenia. What do you think? Please help me, I dont trust my doctor so much but i trust you. Please, could you write me when you're available?

  11. You shouldn’t quit medication abruptly, that’s not good for your mental health, I hope you are better. You look better.💕
    Take care

  12. There's such a difference…you seemed drugged before. If it's necessary….I get it. You look great….love your hair!!

  13. Die you testet raw meat and raw vegetables diäts? about raw meat i heared it can cure some brain disfunktions …

    Also do you ever testet hawaiian baby woodrose it is cure for shizophrenia in the old medicine …it contains LSA and other substances LSA is similar to LSD but with much less visuals …or you testet psylocybin shrooms …

  14. Suffer from the same, need people my age to relate and talk to and see how to help each other and better understand, text back. I'll reply.

  15. Hello, I'm from Brazil and thank you for your videos. It's very good to know that it's not because you have schizophrenia that you are disabled because of what type you are not and you have schizophrenia, so my name is Eliezer and I also have schizophrenia

  16. Keep strong oi. I think I'm going Schizophrenic, hear voices 24/7 (well except when asleep lol). Think I'm screwing up because I'm trying not to use antipsychotics (just because of fatigue)…but in my case I think my drug use has put me in this state. It's pretty hard but being strong is all one can do.


  17. Hi, I'm Brazilian and I would like to see your videos so it's kind of difficult because you're in English, you would not have to put subtitles on your videos, I do not know, using Google translator.

  18. I've been recently diagnosed with schizoaffective! I've been checking into other things besides medication that actually increase dopamine receptors and dopamine in the brain. And most of the schizophrenics that I have been checking out on YouTube, generally seem to be artistic. I see that is a good thing because one of the main points about building more dopamine receptors in the brain is being creative! So I would suggest continuing with the art as much as you can and being as creative as you can along with other holistic health things to keep your brain Sharp.

    I would also like to propose an idea for future videos. Maybe you could do some videos of you in the process of painting or doing art so that we could get a better idea of what's your like while you're painting or being creative. From what I have seen of your work you're pretty good! And I would like to see more of it , and if I had more money I would buy some of them.

  19. There will be many more choices of medications available to you when you turn 18. Learn and research what they are and ask your doctors, repeatedly if need be. Write on a calendar the episodes u have at night. Charting them will tell you when u will need to start taking medication. That orange is magnificent btw!

  20. I suffer Paranoid Schizoprenia 5 years ago apart I suffer drug -resistant epilepsy at birth my psychotic events make me lose consciousness that last for hours and my epileptic seizures are similar as Anneliesse Mitchel It's very hard to live with this, apart from that I'm developing Persistent Depressive Disorder, I drink Levetirzetam, lamotrigine,  risperidone (inyection) olanzapine, Quetiapine , clozapine and aripiprazol  and now  i drink another ones for depression sertraline  and trazodone

  21. the side effects that produce me is anxiety and despair, sometimes I have been violent throwing those medicines out the window or throwing them with a bad temper when they say "mike it's time to take the medicines" the truth is no way out or I take those drugs or I lose consciousness and I get lost in the street with audiovisual hallucinations, which I have already found 3 times collapsed on the ground one in the middle of an avenue (the most dangerous) and the other in a forest that is 30 minutes away my house

  22. Best of luck to you. Coming from a guy who's a wee rough round the edges, I really admire how personable you seem to be (I'm slightly envious, but please don't hold that against me! haha). I can imagine that on your 'good days', you must affect your loved one's in profoundly positive ways. Congratulations on your sale, and keep it up! 👐 (wu tang)

  23. I just wanted to say that the video has helped me. I won't go into my personal story but I thought you would appreciate the feedback.

  24. I know what you mean by no one trusting you or having no proof at all. The best you can do is being strong and take pills. The more aggresive you are the worse it gets. You were sort lucky by that i mean your family understands and talks about it. I myself have no one to talk about it because everytime they talk about itvis because they know i'll get aggresive. I'm not strong at all but having these videos at least feels like a relief. So i can say it's nice to see at least someone knows how it feels sometimes. Continue doing this and talking about it, believe me, its better. Be strong and be trsutful while you have it. Whenever it gets worse dont do anything because its the worse thing to do and you'll lose that. Keep up.

  25. Hey I hope you're doing okay, I wanted to tell you that I really appreciate your videos. My mom has schizophrenia, and I've been battling with depression (maybe sch) for about 2 years now. Your videos make me feel better about the whole mental illness stuff.

  26. Your so beatiful and ur look really remind me a girl i really like, i truly think u are doing alright without the meds , keep it up

  27. You may not want to breath because it makes you lightheaded if your iron is high. Like too much steak has iron and that will make you lightheaded if you breath a lot.

  28. Not to be nosy or anything but you appear to have more worry than before. I hear voices all the time. No Family and nobody to talk to. The only thing that my doctor was concerned about was whether or not I had a criminal past. Seemed top be concerned with his own moral judgement than his profession. I will talk to you anytime at No Longer Lonely .com- Daniel003

  29. Please think about getting back on your medication. You may feel better but if left untreated Schizophrenia will get worse. Schizophrenia can not be cured and your hallucinations will go back to sever if you do not treat it's just like cancer. With all the love in the world. ~Brittany

  30. hi i really like your videos and your artwork. I hope youre doing well and itd be cool to see more videos.

  31. Hey Emily, I would really like to be your friend! I am a lonely schizophrenic and would really want to talk rn ❣️❣️

  32. Always go with your doctors advice…. They are all a$$ holes but… It will be worse otherwise… Hope all is well. "Mental illness" sucks…

  33. I know this is an older video but was wondering if you were on antidepressants as well as other medications when you lost your creativity?

  34. Emily, hello. I have a question. Click here >>> 30:48 (listen for 30 seconds) then then click here >>> 6:26. Yay.

  35. Best wishes for you. You are such a wonderful being. Glad i came upon your channel. I look forward to seeing more of you. Thank you for being so brave to be on Youtube. Much respect and admiration.

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