DR. BETTY: Hello there, Mister Riley. JOHN RILEY: Hello, you all right? Yeah? DR. BETTY: My name is Doctor Betty, and I’m
the – JOHN RILEY: Right. DR. BETTY: psychiatrist. JOHN RILEY: I come to see you ‘cause my
GP sent me to see you, didn’t he? DR. BETTY: Yeah. Yeah. JOHN RILEY: ‘Cause he said come, come and
see a trick psychiatrist, because then you’ll be alright. DR. BETTY: Come and see a…? JOHN RILEY: Trick psychiatrist. Psychiatrist. DR. BETTY: A trick? Oh, right, okay. JOHN RILEY: Yeah, you must know that one.
Yeah, he said come and see you, because you have time to listen to me. DR. BETTY: Yeah. JOHN RILEY: He’s not had time to listen
to me, you see ‘cause — JOHN RILEY: — he’s, he’s a GP. He’s
a doctor, but I don’t think he’s very clever. DR. BETTY: Can I just – JOHN RILEY: He’s not very clever. ‘Cause
he’s not, he’s not, he’s not letting me get into this, you see, won’t let me
talk about this. DR. BETTY: Right. JOHN RILEY: He talks, listens to it sometimes,
but then, you know, sometimes he doesn’t. DR. BETTY: Can I just clarify why — why you’re
here, and why I’m here? I’m the psychiatrist in the emergency clinic, today. JOHN RILEY: Right. OK. DR. BETTY: And your GP’s asked me to see
you. JOHN RILEY: Right. So that’s why I’m here. DR. BETTY: Is that right? JOHN RILEY: Yeah. ‘Cause you, I’ve got
to tell you about this. And this. ‘Cause there’s important stuff in it. Really, really,
important stuff. Come to see you. DR. BETTY: Before we start with that, can
I just ask you, what would you like me to call you, Mr. Riley? JOHN RILEY: Well, names. Name, name’s a
game so, don’t poke with names. That’s just too good. [CHUCKLE] Call me John. DR. BETTY: John? JOHN RILEY: Yeah, OK, what’s your name? PROFESSOR: I’m Dr. Betty. JOHN RILEY: No, your proper name. DR. BETTY: My name is Dr. – JOHN RILEY: No, no, your proper name. [CHUCKLE]
Your forename. Your forename’s not Doctor. DR. BETTY: At, at work, I’m Dr. Betty. JOHN RILEY: You’re not, you’re a doctor. DR. BETTEY: John – JOHN RILEY: Dr. Who? Dr. Who? Diddly dang waddley ding! [CHUCKLE] [indiscernible] That’s fantastic. DR. BETTY: Okay. JOHN RILEY: Now, now, what was – DR. BETTY: John, JOHN RILEY: Yeah, yeah? DR. BETTY: Can ask you how old are you, John? JOHN RILEY: How old? You’re only as old
as the woman you feel, aren’t you, eh? [CHUCKLE] DR. BETTY: Right. Okay. JOHN RILEY: You know, way to the man’s eyes
through his stomach. Oh, yeah, fantastic. DR. BETTY: So how old would that make you,
John? JOHN RILEY: Food for the soul. Nice bit of
soul, yeah? Eh? DR. BETTY: Right. JOHN RILEY: Eh? now, a bit of fish. [indiscernible]
hungry. You got any food? Any food ‘round here? Any, any, any? Oy, down there, you got
any food? I’m starving, no? DR. BETTY: They won’t be able to get you
any food. Let’s — shall we, perhaps… I’ll tell you what, let’s think about food in
a minute. JOHN RILEY: Okay now, now this – let’s
get back to this. Let’s get…. DR. BETTY: Yes. Yes. That’s a good idea. JOHN RILEY: This is important. This is important.
This is why I’m here. To talk to you about this. Tell you, also, you know…. DR. BETTY: Tell me a bit about this, then. JOHN RILEY: Well, this is, this is the work
I’ve been doing. This is really important. And it’s, it’s, my cure for cancer. That’s
what it is, you know. It’s all, it’s all written down here. Well, it’s not written
down, it’s here and it’s at home in me, me books. What I get from the papers is, I’ll
get, I’ll get sort of clues as to what I’m supposed to do and how I’m supposed to get
the other clues to, to, so, so I can hone it down and, and come up with a final thing. DR. BETTY: And how long, John, has all of
this been going on? JOHN RILEY: [indiscernible] been going for
ages, now. DR. BETTY: How long, would you say? JOHN RILEY: Absolutely ages now. What, well,
I’ve been up all week [indiscernible] DR. BETTY: About a week? JOHN RILEY: Maybe this week I’ve been working
really hard on this. DR. BETTY: ‘Cause, ‘cause, before – JOHN RILEY: It’s been going on longer than
a week, but I’ve been working it really hard for this week. DR. BETTY: ‘Cause you, you normally have
another — JOHN RILEY: ‘Cause it’s the numbers, you
see, DR. BETTY: Right. JOHN RILEY: It’s the numbers you have to
find out. DR. BETTY: Am I right in thinking you normally
do a different job? JOHN RILEY: Yeah! I’m a mechanic. Car mechanic.
Yeah, yeah. M-m-m manic mechanic, they call me. DR. BETTY: Manic mechanic. JOHN RILEY: Yeah. It was my mate Dave, yeah – DR. BETTY: Who calls, who calls you that? JOHN RILEY: My mate, Dave, I, I, I brought,
showed him this, and he told me well, he told me to go away, ‘cause I was bonkers. DR. BETTY: He said you were bonkers? JOHN RILEY: In fact, he didn’t say, he didn’t
say, “Go away.” He told me, he told me to fuck off. [CHUCKLE] He said — DR. BETTY: My goodness. Okay. okay. JOHN RILEY: He said, ”Fuck off, you’re
bonkers.” DR. BETTY: Did he? JOHN RILEY: Anyway, see, he did that. And,
uh, so I said well, yeah, I didn’t think he was clever enough, really. You know, not…you
know, ‘cause, well, I went and see the doctor about it, ‘cause I thought, you know, show
him, ‘cause he’s a doctor, you know? He’s He’s been, been to University. He’s done stuff.
No, thick as, thick as shit. No. He really didn’t, couldn’t, he said he didn’t
have time. I thought, how could you not have time for, to hear about the cure for cancer?
You know what I mean? Yeah? Yeah? So that’s why he sent me to see you, ‘cause I’m
going to tell you about it. DR. BETTY: Okay. Well, tell me about it, then.
Tell me what, what’s going on. JOHN RILEY: Well, it’s, I’ve got, I’ve
got me various bits and pieces, and I find things in the papers like, you know, the football
results, you see, they need adding together, and then I have to find some other information
on this page, [indiscernible] says pages and page numbers there. Add those together, and
take away from what’s on there, here… So that’s how I do that. And then – DR. BETTY: And then what does that, what does
that number do, then? JOHN RILEY: You find, you find, you find other
things. That number corresponds to numbers I’ve got on me, on me charts. I’ve got
big charts on me wall. And then I find that number, and then that adds up to something
else. And this is, it’s all there, I mean, that’s, that’s, that’s really good.
I’m gonna get one of those. DR. BETTY: What’s that? JOHN RILEY: That’s, that’s really good.
That’s, that’s, that’s a phone. It does the Internet and everything. So I’ll be
able to find, find out more stuff. You know, that way, when I’m, when I’m out and about,
but….That’s, that’s, and there’s numbers you see, I’ll use those numbers, there. And then, the adding up and taking away from something else. DR. BETTY: And, John, when you’ve done all
this, with all the numbers, and the chart, what will, where will that leave you? What
is it you’re headed for? JOHN RILEY: Well, it’s the cure of cancer,
isn’t it? DR. BETTY: A cure for cancer. JOHN RILEY: That’s what it is. A cure for
cancer. DR. BETTY: Okay. How is that going to work,
then? JOHN RILEY: Well, how it works is, God tells
me, you know, um, you know, I’m doing a really good job and how great I am, and how
fantastic it is I’m working at this, you know? And I just, I just keep going at it.
You know, I don’t stop, I don’t stop. DR. BETTY: Can I just take it back a step? JOHN RILEY: Yeah, sure. DR. BETTY: You said, God tells you – JOHN RILEY: God tells me. DR. BETTY: Can you tell me a bit more about
that? JOHN RILEY: Well, he, he tells me. He just,
he just talks to me. DR. BETTY: How — He talks? JOHN RILEY: Yes, he talks to me. He tells
me ’m doing a really good job, and I’m fantastic. DR. BETTY: Okay, so God talks to you. JOHN RILEY: I’m really wonderful and I’m
great, you know, doing, doing the [indiscernible]. DR. BETTY: And, and when God talks – JOHN RILEY: And I have to show this to people,
that’s why I’ve come in to show you. DR. BETTY: And John, when God talks to you,
can I just, clarify this with you? Does he talk to you like I’m talking to you? With
the voice coming through your ears? Or, does it feel more like – JOHN RILEY: Voice doesn’t come through your
ears. Comes out your mouth. Voice comes out your mouth then goes in your ears. DR. BETTY: That’s right. JOHN RILEY: Yeah, get it straight, you should
know that cause, you know, you’ve, you’re a doctor, as well, aren’t you? So you should
know these things. Yeah. DR. BETTY: And is, is that how the voice seems
to you, John? JOHN RILEY: I hear him in my ears because
that’s what I use for hearing, and, you know, and he talks to me with his mouth, ‘cause,
you know, he’s, he’s – DR. BETTY: So the voice seems to come through
your ears, rather than inside your head? JOHN RILEY: Yeah. It’s quite loud, ‘cause
he’s a big bloke. DR. BETTY: Is he a big bloke? JOHN RILEY: He’s a big bloke. Yeah. Yeah.
And he’s got a big, big beard. DR. BETTY: What’s he like, then? JOHN RILEY: Well, he’s big bloke, big beard.
Yeah. I called him beardy-beardy once, he didn’t like it, he got right up. Oh blasted!
I called him beardy-beardy. DR. BETTY: Okay, I can imagine. What kind
of things – JOHN RILEY: S-S-Sir, just S-S-S-Sir, call
him Sir. You know, he likes to be called Sir. DR. BETTY: And what kind of things, when he’s
talking to you, what kind of things does he say to you, John? JOHN RILEY: He tells me I’m fantastic. Yeah,
how great I am for doing this, getting stuck in this and keep keeping at it and I should
show it to people. And that’s what, that’s what I do, you know, I’ll come out and I’ll,
I’ll show it to people. DR. BETTY: So who’ve you been showing it
to? JOHN RILEY: Well, okay, who’ve I’ve been
showing… I’ve, I’ve sent copies of stuff to the Pope and, the Archbishop of Canterbury.
None of them have written back. You’d think they would, you know. ‘Cause they’re close
to God, they probably know him, you know, they probably met him and stuff, you know?
God, I mean, Pope, he claims to have met him, I mean, don’t know. I would assume the Pope
knows God. You know, he’s got his address, his telephone number, everything like that.
But you know, then, I’d say Archbishop Canterbury, he’s just rude, because he’s not written
back at all. And there’s Tony Blair. DR. BETTY: So you’ve written to Tony Blair,
as well. JOHN RILEY: Yeah. Yeah. But he’s, he’s
a right wanker. DR. BETTY: And what did he say? What did Tony say? JOHN RILEY: Nothing. Nothing. I got a letter
back… Well, I didn’t even get it back from him. I got it back from somebody else.
Not him. Maybe it could’ve got lost in the post and somebody got it by mistake, but just
hoping nobody’s stolen my ideas, really. DR. BETTY: It sounds, John, as though – JOHN RILEY: ‘Cause it’s, that’s what
it is, [indiscernible] DR. BETTY: Sorry to interrupt. It sounds, John, as though this has all been keeping you really busy. JOHN RILEY: Really busy. Really busy. DR. BETTY: Have you been sleeping at all? JOHN RILEY: No. No time to sleep. No. No. DR. BETTY: No time to sleep. When was the
last time you had a good night sleep, would you say? JOHN RILEY: Don’t need it. Don’t need
it, I’ve got this enthusiasm from God you know, it’s, it’s there, so there’s energy
inside me, [indiscernible]. DR. BETTY: So you feel as though you’ve
got lots of energy? JOHN RILEY: Yeah. Yeah. Tons of it. Tons of
it. DR. BETTY: And how are your thoughts? Are
they, are they, are they, are they going fast? Are they, are you thinking lots? Lots of ideas? JOHN RILEY: Well, yeah, ‘cause I have to
think really intensely, I mean, you, you, you, put stuff down here, I mean, there’s,
there’s — I caught that in the door the other day. There’s lots of numbers on there that need adding up and taking away from other numbers. DR. BETTY: And John, how are you feeling about yourself? You know, your self-esteem? How do you feel about yourself as a person at
the moment? JOHN RILEY: Fantastic. DR. BETTY: You feel fantastic. JOHN RILEY: Fan — I feel fantastic, ’cause,
you know, God’s telling me I am. You know, I’m doing a really, really good job and
it’s all there and it’s all happening. DR. BETTY: Tell me this, John, ‘cause I
couldn’t get it from your GP letter. Have you ever had anything like this before in your life? Where you felt full of energy and lots of bright ideas? JOHN RILEY: No. DR. BETTY: It’s not happened before? JOHN RILEY: No. But this has been going on for so long, I can’t really remember anything else, you know? DR. BETTY: And have there ever been any times
in your life when you’ve kind of been the opposite, John? Where you’ve been a bit
down in the dumps? JOHN RILEY: No. DR. BETTY: Not much energy? JOHN RILEY: No, no, no, Noth – nothing. Noth
– nothing – DR. BETTY: Nothing like that. JOHN RILEY: Nothing like that, no. No. No. DR. BETTY: And what about any family history?
Does anyone in your family have things like this? JOHN RILEY: No, no, it’s just me. I, just,
just, just me [indiscernible]. Well, they’re, they’re not that, really that clever. You
know? DR. BETTY: Who’s not that clever? JOHN RILEY: Me family. DR. BETTY: Your family. JOHN RILEY: You know, that’s why I have
to come and see doctors and go to places — hospitals, and things like that. [indiscernible] DR. BETTY: Because you – JOHN RILEY: They even pay your kind of person.
This is what – DR. BETTY: Do you feel as though you’re
more clever than, perhaps, perhaps other people? JOHN RILEY: Well, well, yeah. Well, yeah.
You know, I’m certainly cleverer than those people at work, you know, ‘cause they’re
a bit thick. DR. BETTY: And, John, I guess I’m just wondering,
what might have happened to start all this off for you? Have you any thoughts, yourself
what brought this on? JOHN RILEY: Whoa, whoa! Well, God. Yeah. DR. BETTY: God. JOHN RILEY: Yeah. Yeah. And, yeah, it just
came to me one day. One day, it just came to me. Yeah, so, I started, started noticing
connections with numbers and things. It’s it’s, it’s all there. You just got to
find it. DR. BETTY: I wonder, John – JOHN RILEY: Gotta dig deep and look for it.
You know what I mean? DR. BETTY: Okay. How’ve you been feeling,
physically? In your physical health? Any problems there? JOHN RILEY: Fine! Fine, I’m fine. I’m
f-fine. Yeah. DR. BETTY: And have you been taking any prescribed
medication or even – JOHN RILEY: No, nothing like that. DR. BETTY: — any drugs that aren’t prescribed? Any substances? JOHN RILEY: I just need everything within
me now. I don’t need anything else. DR. BETTY: And you know how you were saying
that your mates at work said you were – JOHN RILEY: Who, Dave? DR. BETTY: Yeah. He – JOHN RILEY: Yeah, he said rude things. DR. BETTY: He said rude things? JOHN RILEY: You know I don’t, don’t like
repeating – DR. BETTY: He, he kind of suggested that you
might be – JOHN RILEY: I told you what he said, didn’t
I? DR. BETTY: Yeah you did. You did. JOHN RILEY: He used, he used the F word. I
don’t like that. DR. BETTY: No. JOHN RILEY: No. DR. BETTY: But, it sounded like he thought
you weren’t very well at the moment? JOHN RILEY: No, I’m fine. DR. BETTY: What do you think to that? JOHN RILEY: Now look, can we, can we [CHUCKLE]
Can we look at this, now, ‘cause this is what I want to talk about. You see, I’ve
come here to talk about this, and you seem to be going off on, on something else. DR. BETTY: Yeah. JOHN RILEY: You’re not paying, really, paying
attention to me. DR. BETTY: Yeah. I guess what it – JOHN RILEY: Can we do that now? Can we, can
we talk a bit more about this now? DR. BETTY: Well, I guess, before we get back
into that, I guess what – JOHN RILEY: Well no, I don’t want to get
back at it, I want to talk to you about it now. Can we talk about it now, please? DR. BETTY: I, I guess, John, what I’m wondering
is, whether this might be a sign that you’re not very well at the moment. JOHN RILEY: No. I’m fine. I want to talk
about this. You seem to want to change the subject so I don’t want to talk to you anymore.
I’ve had enough of you, and I’ve had enough of being here. I want to talk to somebody
else, I want to talk to the boss. I want to I want to talk to your boss. Where’s your boss? DR. BETTY: John, I am the boss I’m. I’m
a consultant — JOHN RILEY: Well, you’re a shit boss, and
I want to talk to somebody else. There must be somebody else I can talk to. DR. BETTY: There isn’t, John. JOHN RILEY: I want to talk to the head man. I’m fed up with talking to all of you rag, I want to talk to the engineer, no more monkeys,
the organ grinder, for me. I want to talk to the top man. Top boss. Top cat. That’s
what I want to talk to. Top cat. Top cat. Top cat. Yeah. [Indiscernible singing]