(dramatic music) – [Justin] Hi, I’m Beth Esda. Thank you for playing my game. – [Griffin] (laughs) That’s a dumb joke to start the video out on. We’re under so much pressure to crush it for Fallout 4–
– You don’t think that that was a good joke to start with? Hi, I’m–
– No. – [Justin] I’m Bethany Esda. Thank you for playing my game. – [Griffin] This is my
indie game, I made it. I’m one person.
– (laughs) I’m a one-person game studio, my name’s Bethany Esda, and I made this game (laughs). I called it Fallout 4 as a joke. It’s of course the first one
and it’s a game about, uh, the horrors of war, I guess? – [Griffin] Justin, that joke
doesn’t pass my smell test. – [Justin] (laughs) All
right, Cyrano, slow down. Let me do (laughs), I’m
doing my best over here. – [Griffin] This is Fallout
4, this is Monster Factory. I really do feel a
tremendous amount of pressure because we’ve gotten approximately
4,000 Tweets asking us when we’re doing a
Fallout 4 Monster Factory, and the answer is right now. What canvas do we wanna work with? – [Justin] Can I ask
you one quick question for people who are probably wondering this and are watching this video? – Yah.
– How deep are we gonna get here, like, what are we, what are they gonna-
– As deep as we can. We’re still in–
– No, no, no, I’m saying, like, what are they gonna
ruin by watching this video? ‘Cause I’m not finished with Fallout 4. I’m sure most people aren’t.
– Well, we’re not gonna beat the game.
– Okay, but like, you know what I’m asking here.
– We’re not gonna reveal that at the end, you were Fallout. – [Justin] (laughs) The
entire time, the bomb was you. The instigating action, though, will be spoiled.
– Yeah, we’re gonna cover it ’cause there’s gonna be
some funny shit in there. – [Justin] Okay, but I just
wanna lay out the ground rules for people so they’re not– – No rules, just right–
– Caught by surprise. – [Griffin] Out back Monster Factory. – [Justin] (laughs) Okay, fine. – [Griffin] Look at this Nurse Jackie. I’m gonna turn her into a blooming onion. – [Justin] You know what is
worrying me right off the bat? – [Griffin] What is worrying
you right off the bat? – No sliders.
– No sliders, that’s right. – [Justin] I mean, there are
virtual sliders, of course. There are limits here. – [Griffin] There are conceptual sliders. Did I just break the game already? Holy shit, Fallout, we’ve only just begun. – [Justin] (laughs) You can’t
get, don’t get cold feet on us now, Bethesda.
– Is that your metric Fallout? It’s like, oh, that
nose looks crazy, crash. – [Justin] I’m worried ’cause if your PC thought that was nasty– – I know, it’s like–
– It has no idea how nasty things are about
to get (laughs), oh, no! – [Griffin] All right,
kicking things off– – That’s bad.
– With a bang. – [Justin] Ugh (laughs), oh, oh, oh. A little bit an Allison
Janney vibe right now. – Kind of, if she fell–
– Well, if she fell in a– – In acid.
– Yeah, fell in acid, like post-Joker-ification Allison Janney. Was that a setting, is
there a haughtiness setting? – You have such a–
– No, there is a Janney slider. – [Justin] Okay, you Janneyd her out. – [Griffin] I Janneyd her right up. – Hun, you look as good as the day we met. – [Griffin] He just said,
hon, you look as good as the day we met, which– (Justin laughs)
Is probably true. – [Justin] In that lab. – [Griffin] (laughs) In that
garbage can that the lab used to dump all their chemicals. – [Justin] (laughs) Have
you noticed something approaching dawning horror
on the husband’s face? – [Griffin] (laughs)
Yeah, wait, can we, uh, let’s take a quick break. (both laughing)
I think that’s about, yeah, that’s about right. – [Justin] I wanna make a vote
here for not bald, because– – [Griffin] No, yeah, no,
that’s just to really get a– – Okay, okay, all right.
– Good-looking canvas, yeah. – [Justin] ‘Cause D-Bomb
was bald, and we don’t want to repeat D-Bomb.
– We actually had a lot of requests for
like a D-Bomb junior. – [Justin] I would be
open to son of D-Bomb if you wanted to talk about that, but– – [Griffin] No, D-Bomb’s just such a powerful feminine force. – [Justin] No lids, lid
free, why is that an option! (Griffin laughs)
You keep those! That’s really good, she looks
like a human goldfish cracker. (both laughing) This is not a mean-spirited show. It’s about creating things
that are initially horrifying and then finding the beauty
within, as we can all do for ourselves and those around us. What is going on with the
fucking eyes, though, Todd? Yes.
– Yes, expa-zinga (laughs). – [Justin] Do not fool with this anymore. She is perfect. Bah-bah!
(both laughing) – [Griffin] Black or red. – [Justin] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Pale blue, yeah, they have blue hazy. – Yeah.
– Holy shit, no, don’t smile! This woman hates this
fucking cursor so much. (Justin laughs) One day, cursor–
– I will find you– – [Griffin] And I will eat you. Can we do all the makeup? – [Justin] (laughs) Okay. – [Griffin] Oh, yeah, baby pretty. – (laughs) No.
– Baby pretty, pretty baby. Justin, Daddy like a pretty baby? – [Justin] This is really, can I say this is upsetting to me for some reason. This is the first one–
– No, not upsetting. – That has bothered me.
– Daddy like a pretty baby. – I need to move on to–
– Daddy like a pretty baby. – [Justin] I can’t do this. I’m trying to find the place
in my heart to love her. – [Griffin] (laughs) Oh, keep looking, (speaks in foreign language).
– You’re making it hard. – [Griffin] Oh (laughs),
Daddy like a pretty baby. Oh, no, oh, my God! No, no, no, no, no! (laughs) – [Justin] I’m gonna yartz. – [Griffin] See, once she has hair, it feels more to me like she’s owning it. – Oh, my God (laughs).
– Justin. – Yes.
– Justin. – Yes, Griffin.
– I’m literally getting a little nauseous. – [Justin] I know, it’s too much. – [Griffin] The body
horror, the body horror in this episode of Monster
Factory is getting a little in, I’m, like, sweating and I was
actually a little bit hungry before we started, and
that’s just gone now. – [Justin] See, to me,
this is a woman with power. – [Griffin] (laughs) I
mean, just rough face in general seems good. That seems like a nice catch-all. There’s no reason to have a rough face and seven different types
of forehead blemishes. – [Justin] No, rough face
is good ’cause that’s like somebody who’s seen some shit. – [Griffin] I think let’s mess
with the husband just a touch now that, like before, I
couldn’t really get into it because, like, what was
happening in the background was just genuinely very upsetting to experience and be a part of. – [Justin] Uh-huh, be a
part of is fairly generous to yourself, Griffin. You played a larger role, I
think, than that would imply. – [Griffin] What if all of his features were the exact polar
opposite of her features? – [Justin] Now I like it. – [Griffin] Sort of like a giganto nose. – [Justin] You take two steps forward. I take two steps back. You take a screenshot, Tweet
it out, ask for a vote. – [Griffin] No, this is our fuckin’ thing. I’m not gonna have a bunch of randos who don’t understand
my art try and tell me how to do my fuckin’ art. – [Justin] Then you tell
me how you’re gonna choose between the two of them,
’cause I don’t know right now. – [Griffin] I’m gonna play as the woman, because fucking look at her. – I love that face. – [Justin] I really, really enjoy– – Beard or no beard?
– That facial hair. – [Griffin] What’s not to enjoy about it? Oh, my, oh my.
– Oh, my (laughs), oh, boy.
– Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. – [Justin] Can I just
say something, Griffin, especially now with the
facial hair and the haircut? I’m enjoying the fuck outta this dude. – [Griffin] Yeah, I’m enjoying
the fuck outta both of ’em. God, I just don’t know. – [Justin] Can we please vote? – [Griffin] Yeah, we’ll
take a break after we finish the creation of these two and we’ll see which one people wanna do. I don’t think I can change
just this one set of hair. – [Justin] All the hair, then. I’m thinking like something white. – [Griffin] Is this what
you had in mind, my brother? – [Justin] (laughs) You know it wasn’t! (laughs) You know it wasn’t! – [Griffin] Is this kinda,
when you were talking to me about that, was this what you thinking? – [Justin] (laughs) Look– – [Griffin] I like it,
I like it very much so. – [Justin] He looks
(laughs), he looks like– – [Griffin] Justin, please let me keep it. I mean, just, and we’re
not gonna keep this, but just to keep things even– – [Justin] Don’t click ’em all, though. I don’t wanna have to–
– Just to keep it, just to keep things totally even Steven. All right, we’re there.
– As handsome as the day we met.
– Make it go away. – [Griffin] Which part of it? What if, okay, can I
cut you a deal? (laughs) – Okay.
– Instead of having one scar, we just pile up a bunch of scars on one very specific part
of his face? (laughs) – [Justin] Okay, as much
of that as you can do, that would be fine.
– So just, I want the middle of his face to just be sort of a ruined wasteland,
a blighted hellscape. Okay, let’s put it to a vote. I guess we’ll just toss
it up on the Twitter. – Yeah.
– Let’s see what people think, see which one of these two
pieces of beautiful bait they take a bite at. We’ll be right back. (suspenseful drum music) (audience cheering) – (gasps) Oh, sorry.
– (laughs) Welcome back. – Took a break here.
– The polls are closed. And this creation, which
the the voting populace gave some pretty wonderful
names, including just Hogan– – Or Trash Hogan, I saw.
– Or (laughs) Trash Hogan. He put up a good effort,
but unfortunately, he is not gonna be the
star of the show this time. I don’t know why I said unfortunately. I was always–
– Oh! – [Griffin] I was always in her corner. – [Justin] Oh, that’s just a body. – [Griffin] Get that just right. – [Justin] Not a lot of options, although as a bigger
person, I did appreciate being able to play as a larger person. – [Griffin] Holy shit,
though, look at that, just, like beefsteak, look
at that just big, muscly– – [Justin] (laughs) Fuck, I love that. – [Griffin] Fuck, it’s really good. Let’s just–
– Let’s see the other options, of course, but– – [Griffin] I mean,
that’s pretty good, too. I like how she’s–
– She’s, mom jeans. – [Griffin] Yeah, she’s
working (laughs) it, too. – [Justin] What is that, is
there a pant waist adjustment? – [Griffin] (laughs) It’s
gotta be full-blown beef bones, right?
– Yeah, for sure. – [Griffin] Look at that, Jesus. – [Justin] Wreck your shop. – [Griffin] She’s like a human punch. Just kick things off with a bang. – (laughs) What–
– What? – What?
– What is it, my little baby? – [Justin] Can you help me reach the, uh– – [Griffin] (laughs) What
do you need, the toothbrush? Oh, I can’t interact
with objects yet, honey. I haven’t completed the tutorial. – [Justin] I gotta get
the tutorial, sweetheart. – [Griffin] Wait, look
at him, wait, wait, wait. Do the scales in this game actually work? ‘Cause this says he weighs 40 pounds. (Justin laughing)
Wait, no, this requires further experimentation. – No, okay.
– No, he’s just locked at 40, buh bwuh, uh, uh, uh!
(Justin laughing) Kilo, love the baby, keep the baby. I will have you, baby (laughs). (gentle lullaby music) – [Justin] Enjoy, baby. – [Griffin] Baby enjoy
toy Mommy buy for you. – [Justin] Enjoy entertainment, baby. – [Griffin] I will take a
hammer and fix the baby. – [Justin] (laughs) Baby’s
broken, is too small. – [Griffin] I’ll superglue the
baby back to this big size. – [Woman] Abraxo for all your cleaning needs.
– Baby need snack. I give baby snack of cleaner,
clean baby’s tum-tum, scrubby squeakin’ clean.
(Griffin laughing) Baby.
– (gasps) Oh, my God. – Hello, metal husband.
– Thanks, Codsworth. (Griffin laughing) – [Justin] Three, I metal husband. – [Griffin] Do not tell
Trash Hulk about our baby. (both laughing) – [Justin] Hey, what’s going on here? Oh, nothing, Trash Hulk. Me and metal husband
are cooking you a meal which I will feed you in baby bottle because you are man baby! Little now, you don’t frighten me. – [Griffin] (laughs) You
cannot scare me, baby husband. (Justin laughing) – [Justin] Scared to–
(both laughing) Oh, my God, they let
you get him real small. – Oh!
– I love it. Oh, thank you, Bethesda,
for this wonderful game. – [Griffin] (laughs) Oh, time,
he’s gonna play (laughs), the cup (laughs), baby, my
little Trash Hogan in a cup. (laughs) Holy shit, look
how little he is (laughs). Oh, my God, can we go deeper? – [Justin] No, no, you’ll
make him too small. You won’t have fun as a pencil anymore. – [Griffin] (laughs) I
gotta quick save before this (laughs) oh, my God, I’m crying, oh, shit. – [Justin] Oh, he’ so tiny (laughs). – [Griffin] Oh, my God,
he keeps going down. (claps) Oh (laughs).
– Oh, no! – [Griffin] (laughs) We have to reduce him to a quantum state (laughs). (both laughing) No!
(both laughing) No! – [Griffin] He’s just, he’s caught in the atoms of the linoleum. Fuck me running, holy shit. – [Justin] Oh, man, Todd, you’re back on the Christmas card list. – [Griffin] God, game of the year. – [Justin] Okay, wait, wait,
wait, this is very important. – [Griffin] Can I make myself
that little and find him? – [Justin] Exactly, exactly, exactly. – [Griffin] Oh, my God, oh, my God. – Wuh-wuh-wuh-wuh-wuh.
– Oh, my God, yes! I can’t get over to him. – [Justin] This is like
What Dreams May Come. – [Griffin] I can fix, I can fix this. Gotta get faster. Yes, yes.
– What, okay. Some unintended things
going on with our FOV here. Oh, this is amazing! – [Griffin] I’m as big as my reticle. Look at that, I’m
obfuscated by my reticle! Justin, this is amazing! (both laughing) I mean, can (laughs), yeah,
they’re having (laughs) a couch adventure (laughs), oh, my God. – [Justin] I’m gonna call this right now. We cannot limit this to a single video. – Oh (laughs).
– This can’t be a one video on Fallout 4. – [Griffin] Yeah, you’re right,
this just became a series. – [Justin] Fearful giant (laughs). – [Griffin] (laughs) Oh,
Justin, I’m still crying. I still have tears on my face. – [Justin] This is easy, strength 10. – [Griffin] Luck 10. (Justin laughs)
And then the other two points, we can just throw right away. Well, do we want it to be something that my metal husband’s
gonna be able to say? – [Justin] Ah, that would be nice. You would know better than me. – [Griffin] I kinda like for this one, ’cause I’m in love with this
and I kinda like the idea of this being, like we
just sorta put a pin in this creation as being permanently the most infallible, most powerful godlike being we’ve ever created,
and I think I want a name that sorta gets that across, sort of like, you know,
Ultros or something like that, something that–
– Yeah, what about Omega Susan? (Griffin laughs)
Indomitable Pam. – [Griffin] I can’t, you
know I can’t spell that word. (Justin snickers) So something, if the Four Horsemen are Conquest, War, Famine, and Death, what would the fifth one be? It’s still a little wordy. (Justin laughs) – [Justin] The Final
Pam, that’s, that’s good. – [Griffin] That represents
a lot of different ideas. – [Justin] Mm-hmm, it’s
complex, complex notion. – [Griffin] She is both the
metric by which the world will be judged and the
judge and executioner. – Mm-hmm.
– What is the Final Pam gonna be good at, like when
the seventh seal is broken and the last of the horns is blown, thinking maybe she’s gonna
be a little charismatic? – Yeah, no, you know what?
– Yeah. – [Griffin] She’s a smart cookie. – [Justin] Smart cookie, I like that. – The final–
– I don’t think she needs that much luck, either. Maybe she’s smarter than she is lucky. – [Griffin] No, she’s
extraordinarily lucky. – [Justin] Okay, good, you’re
gonna fuck all these anyway. – Yup!
(dramatic music) Do not worry, tiny Mom come to soothe. – [Justin] Come to me,
my Shawn-ster (laughs). – [Griffin] Shawn, kiss
him, kiss him, kiss him. There we go.
– My boy isn’t giving his mother any trouble, is he? – [Griffin] Why is the ocean there? (laughs) Why is the ocean in your room? How about that?
(baby cries) Oh, she’s gigantic (laughs). – [Justin] (laughs) Yeah, it’s
great how big she seems now. – [Griffin] Oh, fuck, wait,
now I can’t find my husband. Has anyone seen my very little husband? – (laughs) How–
– Has anyone seen my– – [Justin] Nobody move, I’ve
lost both a contact lens and my husband. – [Griffin] Oh, fuck, 12’s too big. No, 12, I meant to put a decimal, no! Giant husband, I will
climb you and love you the way you need to, oh, my God! – Park for a bit.
– No! Justin, listen, there’s not
gonna be enough resources for everybody in this bunker. (Justin laughing)
– Immediately. – Oh, no.
– God, forgive me. – [Justin] Wait a minute, now– – [Griffin] He cool, he cool, he cool. – [Justin] (laughs) You come with us. (explosions booming) – That’s a tough soldier.
– Orderly, vault– – [Griffin] We will
need clothes in bunker. (Justin laughs)
I must collect for, fuck, holy shit, I died! (Justin laughing) Oh, my God, I made, oh, my
God, watch the whirlybird. Holy shit!
– Evacuate to Vault 111 immediately.
(explosion booms) – [Griffin] Fuck, yes. – Yes!
– I do this. – [Justin] This is Final Pam. – [Griffin] You remember how
your backyard barbecue go, the Smiths.
(Justin laughs) Pretty good it doesn’t seem. Ha, ha, I tell little joke. – [Justin] Next time you invite Pam. – [Griffin] Stand up, weak husband. – [Justin] (laughs) You
cower no more in shadow. – [Griffin] Must check
on true aluminum love. – [Justin] (laughs) You must live. – [Griffin] Stay safe, honey. Many robo kisses in future, yes. – [Codsworth] Oh, my. – [Justin] (laughs) Did the– – Sanctuary Hills.
– Did the dialogue just support your slash fiction? – [Griffin] Cool robe,
Mr. Smith, ha ha, not. – Super quick.
– What, what happened? – (laughs) This guy–
– What did you do? – [Justin] I just gotta
turn on God mode real quick. It’s really lovely this
time of year, don’t you, like the leaves are changing and oh, fuck. Oh, damn, that’s not one of mine. – [Griffin] Whoa, fuck, oh, my God, no. I jumped out and unloaded it. (Justin snickers) What did, where, what am
I, what am I even gonna be, what am I even, what the–
– Where are you going? – [Griffin] What the fuck? I back.
– (laughs) Sorry, sorry about that, everybody,
nothing to worry about here. – [Griffin] Oh, shit, vault people. Uh, Final Pam forget keys, brb. (Justin laughs) Okay, I got them, we cool. Overseer, give me your authority. (Justin laughing) Yes.
– You have– – Proceed–
– Now you oversee. – Fashion.
– I oversee your naked, fatty flesh and I laugh. – [Justin] I bet you did
not oversee that coming. – [Griffin] I hope I
no kill important NPC. – [Justin] (laughs) He noscoped that gray suit.
(Griffin laughs) Now we see who essentials are. – [Justin] Game is like,
definitely broken to the point where it won’t move on, right? Just law of large numbers,
just like I killed everyone. – [Justin] Let’s see. – [Griffin] Yeah, I cannot
get in this machine, do not have a quest marker, my dude. I played this before and I
know what’s about to happen, and I feel like Final Pam’s– – Prepared for the future.
– Unkillable power should be able to stop it.
– It’s gonna be hard, right, because in one sense, you
should be able to stop it. In another sense, you won’t. – [Griffin] There has to be a way. I refuse, I refuse.
– Complete. – [Justin] Just accept it, Todd got you. – [Griffin] No, Todd. – (laughs) Just–
– Oh, Todd, you got me in your Todd person. I can’t even look look
at my beautiful husband. Damn you, Todd Howard. A pox on your house. – [Justin] Has this game been
programmed with us in mind? I think Todd was trying to thwart us. They will not ruin the
insidey action for my game. – [Griffin] (laughs) We’ve established that my husband is
impervious to my apocalyptic final special attack, right? – [Justin] Right (laughs),
yes, as is Shawn. – [Griffin] I wonder if the same is true for these two ding-dongs. (Justin snickers) – Gah!
– Fuck you guys, yes! – Yes! (laughs)
♪ Da na na dah ♪ Game over, let me the fuck outta here! Trash Hulk, get me outta here! (laughs) – (laughs) Run, run–
– Trash Hulk, you gotta run! – [Justin] You’re fine now. You’re fine.
– Buddy, buddy, (laughs) you gotta get
the fuck outta here, dude! – [Justin] Go, yes! (laughs) – [Griffin] It’s too late for me. Todd’s got me, it’s too late for me. – [Justin] (laughs) We be
(laughs), more, we win, we win. – [Griffin] Good baby grab, nerd. (Justin laughs)
(characters shouting) – [Justin] Oh, God, imagine
how good this would’ve been if you’d been tiny.
(dramatic music) – [Griffin] It would’ve been pretty good. I mean, it’s pretty good as big, too. (baby crying)
– Yeah. – [Man] Get the kid outta here, let’s go. – [Justin] Just seal us up. – [Griffin] Oh, shit. Yes.
– Back, back again. – (laughs) You–
– Back on smack. Oh, now you’re both ours. Sorry about your asses. – [Griffin] (laughs) I’m
doing my victory dance. (laughs) It’s like they’re in a JRPG and they just beat Trash Hulk in battle and are doing their
synchronized, holy shit. I broke the damn game
again, didn’t I? (laughs) – [Justin] Can’t believe you
didn’t fucking quick save. – [Griffin] Gimme that. – Just step in here.
– Give it to me. – And put your Vault suit on.
– Give it to me. I don’t wanna talk to my stupid baby. It’s not my love baby, anyway. My love baby is like a
can of peas back at home. (Justin guffaws) – Must be–
– No, Todd, damn it, dag. – [Justin] Well, that’s not actually him. – Is it, is it–
– Look how small he is. Do not worry, baby.
– Anyone? – [Justin] Mama’s coming. – [Griffin] Actually,
wait, why am I mourning for Trash Hogan? He was a terrible husband. – [Justin] Yeah, he wasn’t your real love. – [Griffin] His arms weren’t
firm and immalleable, and that’s what I need in a lover. 1,000 seems like a good amount of damage. (roach skitters) Let me quick save just
in case it’s actually a bad amount of damage. (roach squelches) Ah, we’re good. (Pam gasps) ♪ Do do do do do ♪ (both laughing) Hey, everybody, it’s me,
Roachie, your favorite guy. Here’s a little secret, us
bugs love to breakdance. ♪ Cha cha cha cha cha-chi cha ♪ ♪ Ze ba da ba de bop ba ♪ (Justin laughs)
♪ We’re going to the wasteland ♪ We have to keep this guy with us ’cause I’m in love with him now. – [Justin] (laughs) Come
on, Roachie, what awaits us? – [Griffin] This takes sting
out of being recent widow. – [Justin] (laughs) Very good– – [Griffin] No, dammit, game is glitched. (Justin laughs)
Drink up, Roachie. – Roachie.
– My friend. – [Justin] (slurps)
Pretty good, Mom, thanks. – [Griffin] (laughs) Oh,
moving a bit fast, Roachie. – [Justin] I have a
son, he’s a can of peas. – [Griffin] (laughs)
I now have three sons, Shawn, a can of peas, and
Roachie, the super cool break, oh, my God, another, oh, my
God, Roachie, I’m so sorry. (Justin laughs)
Did you know them? Hey, Roachie, look at
this, hey, Roachie, look. It’s like you guys are having sex. Roachie, do you get it? (Justin laughs) Wait, hold on. Which one’s Roachie, can you
tell the real difference? Ask them something only
Roachie would know. – [Justin] (laughs) Who’s your mama? Hell, yeah. – [Griffin] Hell, no. – [Justin] (laughs) No,
don’t do another unarmed run. That’s gonna be boring. – [Griffin] Guns are just so last year. Oh, here, I’ll cut, I’ll
split the difference. – Nice.
– Ah, yes. – [Justin] Shit, if only
there was, just kidding! (snickers)
– Excellent. – [Griffin] Roachie, you
will become so powerful. (Justin laughs) This is game fac of new
companion just patched into game. His name is Roachie,
he has freezing magic. (Justin laughs)
– Terminal only. – [Griffin] Get him, no,
Roachie, son of a bitch. – (laughs) It’s not helping.
– I tell you, take the safety off the cryolator. No, I didn’t mean to take it. Roachie.
– (laughs) Save it for Codsworth.
– I’ve been meaning to ask you something for a long time now, and I just want you to know
that you’re the most special bug in the world to me and I can’t imagine exploring the wasteland without you. Will you marry me? (ominous music) He said yes!
(both laughing) – [Justin] So that’s a, is
Roachie your son or your husband? – [Griffin] Why can’t be both? Wasteland, no rules.
– Man, I hate this. – [Griffin] No rules, just right. (Justin laughs) (roach screeches) Yes, yes. (roach screeching) Yes, fuck yes.
– Yes. – [Griffin] Yes, wait, oh, fuck. I think it was this– – [Justin] Well, one of
’em has a wedding ring. – [Griffin] (laughs) I have to
go and find my own gray suit. Roachie, come, Roachie, oh,
my God, Roachie despawned. (Justin laughs)
Oh, my God, Roachie. Oh, fuck, Roachie–
– (laughs) Oh, no! – [Griffin] Just despawned. – [Justin] (laughs) Roachie despawned. – [Griffin] Oh, my God, Roachie’s gone. Oh, my God, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. – [Justin] Just when you
thought the wasteland couldn’t take anything else from you. – [Griffin] Oh, my God,
leave me something! (Justin laughs)
Nothing, you leave me nothing? This how you do me? I mean, there’s gonna be other radroaches, but he was the raddest roach. – [Justin] (laughs) That’s
what it said on his name tag. – Vault door cycling–
– He could break dance and he was my son-sband.
(Justin laughs) I’m gonna be in a deep depression
for the next few minutes, so I’m gonna need you
to tell all the jokes. – [Justin] (laughs) Okay, no problem. – [Griffin] Like, make a joke
about how this drill thing looks like a sex thing going into a butt. – [Justin] Hey, hey, is this thing on? Hey, is this thing on? This drill thing looks like a sex thing. (dramatic music) – [Griffin] It’s not the same. All right, let’s just go
find some more husbands and children to lose, I guess. – (laughs) Thanks for–
– I’m less excited about this now, this game’s
taken everything from me. Two sons, two husbands,
one of those overlapped a little bit in a weird, what the, yeah, that’s right.
– Aw. – [Griffin] Yeah, let’s find
my only surviving husband, although who knows how long
that’s gonna fuckin’ last. – My God.
(both laughing) They did it, all that fighting and for what?
– Shit, it’s like the nanny from Muppet Babies. – Everything’s dead?
– (laughs) What if the nanny from Muppet Babies’ head looked like the Final Pam’s head? That’s right, it’s been a while. – [Pam] They. – [Griffin] Oh, my God, you made it. – [Justin] (laughs) Your baby you made it. – [Griffin] My sweet boy,
let me show you the world. Oh, fuck.
(Justin laughs) My sweet boy, hold on, Mommy’s
coming, Mommy’s coming. Don’t stand under Mommy! (Justin laughs) I will take you with me everywhere I go. You will be my constant companion. Look, he’s even got his little face! This is the perfect son. – [Justin] I know, he’s a
wonderful baby (laughs). – [Griffin] He’s with
me now everywhere I go. (Justin laughs)
Hey, how ’bout we turn that jump height
down just a touch? – [Justin] (laughs) I did wanna
see you take a running jump, though, to see how much
terrain you could span. – [Griffin] Well, that’ll break the game, although we could certainly try it. 10,000, no, just the 1,000 speed, and we’re gonna do a quick
save-a-rino, and then– (Justin laughs)
Which direction you want me to sorta aim this at? – [Justin] Yeah, that seems good. – [Griffin] Okay, well,
ah, here we go, nope. – [Justin] Hit a ceiling, huh? – [Griffin] And there we go. Boom, dynamite.
– (laughs) And all right. – [Griffin] Trying to decide what to load. What is worth loading in this situation? – [Justin] (laughs) I got triaged. – [Griffin] Oh, yeah, my
computer’s making a new sound now. Get in the old blue circle. – [Justin] Before I let you go, I need you to test something. – [Griffin] What do you need me to test? – [Justin] I need you to
shrink something and kill it. – [Griffin] Oh, of course. – And see if–
– That classic– – [Justin] The classic Bethesda,
I can’t even call it a bug. It’s a feature, I guess. (dramatic music) (computer beeping) (punch thuds)
– Oh, fuck me. – [Justin] What, where… – [Griffin] Oh, my God, I think
a fly caught it in midair. Yeah.
(machinery hissing) Oh, game, no!
– Not like this! – [Griffin] Game, just
let me do the thing. Oh, my God, it’s loading,
what is it loading? It’s just gonna load a
video of Todd Howard like– – [Justin] Disapprovingly telling you that you need to stop breaking his shit. – [Griffin] Do you think that somehow Todd is watching me play this live
and he’s counter-programming, I guess, my efforts–
– Todd is watching us. – [Griffin] Oh (laughs). What the fuck, what?
(Justin laughing) What just happened?
– Level two, congratulations. – [Griffin] (laughs) Oh, my God. What the fuck just happened? (gunshots rattling) Oh, my God. – [Justin] It loaded like
the next thing it knew about. (Griffin laughs) – [Griffin] 0.5, okay, and then we’re gonna punch it really good. (punch thuds) Oh, my God, yes! It didn’t get noodly, though. – [Justin] Oh, that’s good to know. – [Griffin] Well, we got some
numbers to crunch, don’t we? – [Justin] Yeah, we’re
gonna have to take this one back to the lab. – [Griffin] No, I mean,
like aesthetically, the Final Pam is perfect. She still needs to enact
her ruination on this world because things look bad, but
they can get so much worse. Luckily, you know, we got a
little bit of emotional support, not a lot, like things are kind of bleak. – [Justin] (laughs) I do need you to just trade with him a little bit. It’s his turn to watch the baby (laughs). – [Griffin] Come here, baby, I sorry. Oh, my God, no, wait. You remind me of a lover I once took. (Justin laughing)
He broke dance and had antennae. Baby, keep up for God’s sakes. (Justin laughing) You ready, my beautiful
bundle of joy, whee! (Justin laughs)
Oh, fuck, I’m so sorry. No, come here, you try again, three, two. ♪ Who’s my little bundle of joy ♪ ♪ You are full of coffee grounds ♪ Whee, baby, I keep you safe. You stay in crib, baby go in crib. Ah, so this has been a
pretty profound success. – Yeah, working–
– We’re gonna keep baby with us, we’ll come, we will return. You want a little sneak preview of what’s in store for next time? – [Justin] Yeah. – [Griffin] I think the
three of us are gonna go, are gonna go shopping
in the old white box. (upbeat techno music)
(Justin laughs) What the hell? Oh (laughs), baby, attack! (both laughing) Oh, baby, I’m so proud of you.