In My Mind: Living with Psychosis

GENTLE GUITAR MUSIC Well, you’re returning
to a world of fear. When you wake up, you’re still believing
all of the same things. It can be really daunting,
facing the world when
you’re in the middle of it. GENTLE GUITAR MUSIC FADES Hell. It’s hell. You feel like you’re surrounded
with just flames and just
at you, man. There’s nothing you can do
about it, except for take it, and it’s just something that, you
know, you just gotta… you gotta…
Yeah, it’s hell, man. For me, it was more of
a huge episode that… kinda took me off the planet. You think something’s
real, but it’s not. Yeah, and that’s kinda how
I felt when I had my episodes. I felt like I knew things about
the world that nobody else did. Like, I had a secret
insight to the world. You don’t realise that you’re in it.
It feels in some ways quite normal. For me, it was a lot of energy that
I had. Just pent-up energy that
I needed to get out. HAUNTING PIANO MUSIC Most common age of onset for people
experiencing psychosis is kind of
late teenage years, early twenties. From a neurological perspective,
during that time, the brain is developing
at a very rapid rate. If you look at a brain scan of a
child, the neural connections are
huge, but there are too many,
and the brain’s inefficient. So the brain goes through a
process called synaptic pruning, which is the idea of the brain
becoming more efficient. It’s a very stressful
time in people’s lives; the huge amount of social change
that goes on in teenagers and
early adulthood. Finding your own way in
the world happens at that time: moving out of home, a lot of
experimentation with drugs
and alcohol and sex. If someone’s experiencing psychosis,
uh, we often talk about their ability to be able to determine
what’s, kind of, real from
what’s imagined or what’s, um, what might be
thoughts or fantasies becomes
a bit more blurred. DREAMY MUSIC Psychosis can happen to anyone
and does happen to anyone, and we all have a breaking point
where we might experience psychosis
or maybe depression or mania, or other sorts
of mental health difficulties. DREAMY MUSIC CONTINUES I think a lot of different
things triggered it. Um, the lack of sleep, um, having a
really stressful period in my life up until that point. Um,
just pressures with work. Um, I’d been in a bicycle accident,
and may or may not have had
a concussion, so I was having medication for that. There were signs of it
happening before I left. I had a weekend where I did
some really risky things. Like, I’ve climbed over the balcony
to get back into the apartment after being locked out
at eight storeys high. Had no sleep, wasn’t eating much.
Just did way too much. DREAMY MUSIC DARKENS Things were… very unreal. I had seen, on the
television, a lot of hallucinations. My friends had told me that we
were watching Midsomer Murders. It didn’t seem like Midsomer Murders
to me. It was a story about my life. When I found out that nobody else
was seeing it, I didn’t know what
was going on. I thought, maybe it was aliens or…
I really had no idea. It was truly terrifying. UNEASY MUSIC When I first starting
dealing with the psychosis, it felt like I was, like,
you know, a martyr for the world. For the person I was, the things
I’d done, and for the people
I knew, you know. I caused a lot of, you know,
a lot of bad, a lot of harm. This is what the voices
were telling me, you know? And I was a bad person for that,
you know, and I deserved to be dead, and because of that the world
was gonna kill me because of that. Like, they were gonna take me by
piece by piece. This is what the
voices were all saying, you know, starting with my hands, because my
hands are so important in my life. You know, this was this is dealing
with it, like, consistently for a
good week, even a little bit longer. Low sleep as well, you know.
You got the insomnia, and and
that’s when not long after that, that’s when I got to the point
to where where, uh, yeah. I ended up in hospital,
hospitalising myself. UNEASY MUSIC CONTINUES Before I went into hospital,
I was taking drugs every day, uh,
party pills and weed and drinking and I didn’t sleep for
maybe four or five days. Like, people are always say drugs
unlock pathways in your brain. It’s, like, yeah, but they unlock
the things to the dark the bad
side as well, you know? Yeah. Near the end of it, I just didn’t
have a grasp on reality anymore. My mum found me in the morning
one day, and I was just
in tears, crying, and then she rang up the,
uh, crisis team, I think, and they took me to
the mental health ward. I didn’t really realise where I was.
I didn’t know if I was in hospital
or where I was. It just seemed like a daydream. Mm. EERIE DRUMBEAT People experiencing psychosis
can be quite risky, because their experiences
are really distressing. Um, they can be at risk of,
you know, harm from other people, because their behaviours might be,
um, you know, scary for other people or might be unexplained or unusual. Um, they can be at
risk of suicide. So, suicide rates of people
experiencing psychosis are
really really high. When I actually eventually woke up
about two days after when I was in
hospital ’cause I had a good sleep. And when I actually… the first
thing I remember too, just the
first thing I actually remembered when I woke up from the hospital
first time I woke up, I heard
a ding, ding ’cause everything’s quite blurry still.
And once I got my vision right,
I looked over, and I can see all the wires and
the pumps and stuff, you know,
everything, and I just f… And I realised what I’d actually
done. I still remember what I
actually done, but I couldn’t believe it,
because it felt so surreal. It felt like, you know, it was
a dream. I didn’t know what was
what, you know. It’s just… Yeah. (SIGHS) Took me a long
time to get my bearings, man. GENTLE PIANO MUSIC I met somebody that I went
to go and see a play with, and I really enjoyed connecting
with him and talking about life, um, and it got me really
excited, and I was so elevated that I found it really hard
coming down from that high. I just wanted to keep going,
so I stayed awake all night, and wrote and wrote and wrote
about all sorts of things, from friendships and relationships
to, uh, Snapchat, nonsense,
song lyrics, weird things, poems. And, sometimes, my writing would
be so fast and free that I couldn’t
read it back the next day. I had quite a strange experience
like I’ve never had before, time passing really quickly. Delusions, hallucinations, hearing things that
aren’t real like, the way wind blows in trees will be
translated into whispers or words. Being able to see different
creatures or monsters or alien
things inside trees and clouds. If I do get insomnia, it brings
you to a real manic state, where it’s quite enjoyable. If I’ve got no responsibilities,
I can get quite in a big, manic
state and really energetic. But after a long time, if you don’t
get sleep for a couple of days, then it’s like you can’t
sleep for the next few days. Just you can’t switch off, yeah. So it’s hard with responsibilities
if you’ve gotta go to school,
you gotta go to work, you’ve gotta be sleeping. GENTLE PIANO MUSIC I would say I was quite unlucky,
because my Mum is schizophrenic, so I already had a chance
of becoming psychotic. I think my own drug use may have
contributed. I’m still not sure. You can’t really get away from it,
um, especially if you have a
genetic predisposition. It, sort of, always looms over you,
the thought that you could have an
episode at any time. And it almost feels like a life
sentence, but it shouldn’t be
viewed that way. I started studying
Environmental Science at AUT. I’m worried that exams or
something similarly stressful might trigger another episode. When you experience that kind of
fear, the last thing you want to
do is experience it again. I mean, there’s a lot of what we
don’t understand about how the
brain works. We’re kind of finding more and more
out about that over time. Life experiences, perhaps turning on
or off genes, resulting in people being more susceptible to
experiencing things like psychosis. And that’s looked at things
like trauma, so the result
of, kind of, early-life trauma, use of marijuana
before the age of 14, heavy use before the age of
18 being, kind of, more… risky for a certain
sub-group of people. When I was 10 years old,
my dad, he passed away. Uh, he had epilepsy.
He had an epileptic fit, and then he had a heart
attack in the hospital. And that was a real hard
time, and sometimes it’s still sad
to think about him. Yeah, very traumatic
actually seeing him die. And we’re kind of trying
to figure out, like, how the
psychotic episodes happen, and it’s, sort of, a past trauma
can lead to things like that. I left high school when I was 16,
and then I didn’t go back into
tertiary study until I was 20. And so for those four years, that
was probably the hardest years of… starting out just partying and
taking too many drugs and… doing all the bad things,
and then that led to the
first big psychotic episode. For my mum, it would have
been really devastating. The hardest part is her probably
thinking that she’s lost her son, thinking that I’m gonna end
up killing myself or killing
someone else, going to jail, or just never having a normal life again. SOFT PIANO MUSIC If my mum wasn’t there to help me,
then I wouldn’t have been able to
recover. I would… either… yeah, still be on the streets
just doing nothing, being
a homeless person, crazy and have no… ’cause she’s the one
that got me into hospital and made
sure I take my medication, made sure I saw psychologists and
counsellors. She organised that. So without that guidance
and that support, then I wouldn’t have had
the care, that I had, and… yeah, my life would not
be as good as it is now. For me, I would usually wanna
withdraw from social contact if I’m having a tough time, and I’ve
had to learn to be more open about
what I’ve been going through and let people in, and my friends
do want to be there for me, and they do wanna support me through
this, so it’s been a good learning curve. You need a good network of support
when you’re dealing with something
like this. Having Teva be there alongside the
journey has been really important
to me. I’ve been grateful for all his
help with sticking with me through
this. Um, some other people might run away
at first signs of someone
with wavering mental health, but he’s been, um, a consistency.
He’s always been there for me. And I feel really lucky
to have his influence. (CAN HISSES)
(LAUGHS SOFTLY) Sorry. That was dangerous. He’s been open-minded. He hasn’t
been judgemental or anything
like that. And he’s been, like, the voice
of reason, as well. Always
a good sounding board when I’m having trouble with
something, and I need to talk. I’ve never actually openly spoken
to anyone, even those close around
me, in my circles, anything
like that, because I can’t. People think, you know, ‘He’s tough;
he’s strong; he’s got a lot of
mana.’ You know, that sort of stuff. But they don’t actually realise
I’m actually broken. I’m hurting,
and I’m struggling. You know, I’m just having to put on
this bravado, like, you know, like, just trying to come in and
trying to deal with things. They don’t realise my, you know,
dealing with all this shit. That’s so hard.
I can’t explain it. But you just feel like giving up.
How do people understand, you know? How can they explain this?
That’s why I never told this story. Not many people actually
understand and and actually
know what psychosis is in general. I didn’t, you know, and until I actually got it. Just to have someone around you,
supporting you, is a big deal,
you know? It’s just… Like I said, they have to sympathise
and understand what you’re going
through by just being there for you,
you know? Just being a friend
is… yeah, it’s awesome. It can be quite difficult
and quite disorientating, going from being psychotic
to being ‘normal’ again. Not only have you possibly fractured
relationships with your friends
and family, but you… gradually figure out what’s real and
what’s not, and that can take a long
time. And, also, there can be a lot of
depression associated with being
sane again. Having Matt around has really
alleviated the loneliness that
I was experiencing before. Um, I feel a lot happier,
a lot more content, a lot safer. I think that I’d be less likely to
become psychotic again while
dating him, because he brings me so much joy. THOUGHTFUL ELECTRONICA MUSIC MUSIC WARPS SOMBRE NOTE People almost always don’t want to
come and see a mental health team because they’re worried that we’re
gonna, kind of, be men in white
coats and drag people off, and we’re not. We make that connection with people
over time, and that’s based on
conversations, and some of those conversations
might be about their study, might be about their hobbies,
might be about their mental health
experiences as well. So we built that, kind of,
rock-solid foundation where they can trust us, and they
know that, you know, we’re not gonna
freak out when they tell us stuff. Medication, that was something that,
like, I didn’t accept at first. I’m
not gonna lie. I didn’t wanna take it myself.
I couldn’t, ’cause I couldn’t
accept, you know… (CHUCKLES) being in
this state, you know? So that was the hardest thing
for me, was even trying to
accept that, you know, I needed the help for a start, and actually accepting that,
you know, what I’ve been going
through is actually happening. I was experimenting with it.
So I was trying to take it like, if I had to take it, if I
knew for myself I needed some help, I’d try and take it at a time where
I felt like, you know, it’s time I
needed it, and trying to keep it as minimal
as possible, but it didn’t work. You know, it was only a short-term
relief, and then I realised once
I got it consistent, it actually started like,
everything I was dealing with,
it actually started decreasing and started easing a little bit
easier, so I could actually start
finding myself and, you know, getting a bit of balance back again
and, yeah, start working on getting
better. We kind of see medicine
as having a role of helping reduce down the symptoms so that
people can learn to manage them; maybe using, kind of, psychological
techniques for managing that as
well. Um, both are important. Recently, I started receiving
really good therapy, and it was invaluable in terms
of the effect that it had on my
mental health and, just, my general
emotional well-being. To have a psychiatrist
who genuinely listens when you say that
you’re experiencing negative
side effects, um, is crucial. I think you can minimise a lot
of distress by intervening early
in terms of psychosis, because, um, a person could go
for years and years having all
sorts of different delusions when, really, they might have needed
to be on the right medication, and that could have
alleviated a lot of their suffering. At the beginning, it was OK.
I just took it day by day. But then it started to get harder.
I put on a lot of weight from
having the medication, and I wasn’t happy about that. I biked less. I wasn’t as active. My world grew a lot smaller. I didn’t have any of those highs
anymore that I had in the past,
and I missed that. So I went and, um, had courses at
the Taylor Centre, which I found
really helpful, um, about how to deal with distress, um, I had a really
supportive care worker there. Um, and they they gave me a
lot of skills to cope with this. Um, yeah, there’s a lot of
value in what they do. THOUGHTFUL ELECTRONICA MUSIC Drug-induced psychosis is,
I guess, the most accurate
description of what I had. Um, and that, I mean, it’s really
hard to define between just being
on the drugs and having a psychotic episode,
you now. But, like, once drugs
were out, and you’ve slept, then you’re then you come right. Or if you have the drug-induced
psychosis, then once the drugs
are out of your system, you’re still in a state that you’re
just you can’t return from. It takes a much longer
time to come back to reality. Life is very fragile.
If you’re sick, psychotic,
and you’re having episodes, you know, you shouldn’t worry
about work; you shouldn’t worry
about university. You should worry about getting
better. That’s the first priority. QUIRKY PIANO MUSIC Looking after the body is a really
important way to also look after
your mind. Just being outdoors, getting
out there, staying active. I can just focus on myself and get
away from the noise of the world. It wasn’t always easy going through
this, but as time went on, um, things got better for me, and
I established a routine and
rekindled some friendships, um, and just started to feel
a lot more positive about life. Um, being in full-time work
again was a huge part of that. I felt like a valuable
member of society again. And it just allowed me to be
more independent and, um, freer. And, yeah, it was a huge
part in getting well again. I’ve really enjoyed
getting into yoga. Dancing on a Monday night
as well, with my friends, that’s been a lot of fun. And bike-riding, of course. I can’t be without my bikes, and… I look forward
to doing these things, because I know that I’m nurturing
myself when I’m doing them. My dad and my mum divorced
when I was about 2 because of the delusions
that she was experiencing, and she went through a
lot of grief at that time. Because she was quite unwell,
I didn’t really form a very
close relationship with her. For a long time, she felt
a lot like a stranger. Now that I’m older, I see things
more from her point of view. I’m sympathise with her a lot more,
because I’ve actually experienced
psychosis, so I know what it’s like. I understand the trauma that she’s
been through a lot better now. My therapist actually encouraged
me to form a closer relationship
with her and I decided that it
was a good idea as well, so I’ve been making more effort
to call her, ask her if
she wants to hang out. And I’ve met some resistance,
because she likes to have a
very ordered life, which is fine. I know that she has her reasons. You know, I don’t
wanna stress her out. The intensity of it can get,
like, it can get really like,
really really, like intense. And then it get like, at
its slowest, it’s like a whisper,
you know. You can You can hear it, but you
can’t make out what they’re actually
saying. Um, yeah, you know. Even saying
that, you know, is actually quite
hard. But within the last, well,
couple of years or so, it’s been a lot easier,
better for myself to deal with.
It’s actually getting easier now. The voices are not as consistent,
not as violently strong as they
were. Hey, sup, ladies?
Hi, Brandon!
What’s up, what’s up, what’s up? Sometimes now, within
the last couple of years, I actually have periods of times
when I don’t actually hear them
at times. And, um and that’s a great relief
for myself, and because it gives
me that sense of knowing that, um, I think I’m almost there, you know?
I’m almost getting through it. I got hope back again.
That’s the main thing too. Because I lost my hope a long time
ago, and, um, just you just feel
like what’s been happening lately, you know, with work, just getting on
my feet, just getting doing the
things that I love to do again, it gives me hope that it’s
gonna get better. And it is. Hey!
One more, doll. Aha! Yeah-yah. Very important to seek some help. ‘Cause I’m that type of
guy that never does. Um, lucky for myself, the people
at the Taylor Centre, you know,
they never gave up on me. They kept um, you know, they
kept turning up at my door
when I didn’t want ’em to, ring me up when they you know,
when I didn’t wanna talk to anybody. But they were there all the time,
to the point when I was
ready, that’s when I was you know, they were there already, and
I was ready to accept the help. GLOVES THUD
At the cross! GLOVES THUD
Awesome. And again! Bump! Bump! Finish ’em. Whoa! If you know someone that’s going
through something like, you know, especially if you can’t understand
it yourself, don’t dismiss it and
try to say just harden the hell up. Because at the end of the day, if
someone is going through something, it’s you know,
it’s a problem. And, obviously, the person
actually needs some help. GENTLE, TINKLING TECHNO MUSIC SOMBRE MUSIC Well, thinking about it, what the
way things mapped out in my past, they all led to coming
into where I am now, and so if I was to change something,
it may not be so good now. So, um, like, the drugs led me to
hospital, which kind of led me to
meeting people through poetry. That was where I got introduced
to performance poetry, was through
hospital, and so if I never got sick, then I
never would have started performing. And through performing, I met so
many friends and had so many
opportunities. Yeah, so it’s hard to say if I would
change something, because I just
I like what I have now, and that’s because of
what I’ve been through. HOPEFUL MUSIC If you go through psychosis, and
you suffer all the hardships that
it entails, you become a lot more resilient. It teaches you about
the nature of fear. The more you go through it, the more
you learn how to overcome that fear. I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst
enemy, but at the same time, I feel like it’s made
me a stronger person. HOPEFUL MUSIC CONTINUES I don’t think I would
change anything. (SIGHS) Nah. Nah. Nah, I won’t change anything.
I couldn’t. Nah, I wouldn’t
change anything. (SIGHS) You know, even as
hard as it is for me to say, but, because of everything you go
through in life, that’s what makes
you who you are. And, um, yeah. I won’t
take it back, you know. I won’t change anything. HOPEFUL MUSIC CONTINUES Now I have an understanding and the maturity now that
I never had before. And because of that, it’s helped
me grow as a person too and actually helped me get to be
where I am today and helped me
get through all this. Yeah. HOPEFUL MUSIC CONTINUES I’ve learned that, um, it’s OK to go through this kind of
experience. It doesn’t make me any
less of a person. And just to be more open-minded
about other people, ’cause what you see on the outside
isn’t always a reflection of what’s
happening for someone internally. And I think… it’s just given me a
better outlook on life, and I’ve been happier with not
being the perfect person anymore. Like, I think it’s really cool
that we all have our difference
challenges in life, and that we can talk about them,
and work away at creating less
of a stigma around mental health, that’s really important to me,
so I’ve tried to be as open as
I can about my experience. HOPEFUL MUSIC GENTLY FADES One of the most important messages
is that, you know, psychosis is
treatable, and and recovery is expected,
so we expect people to get better, get on with their lives, um,
and when you’re experiencing it, it can feel terrifying and feel that
it’s never going to be right again. But, look, we see we engage with
people, we see people get better and
get on with their lives and thrive and actually come out
stronger and better, um, because they’ve learned a lot about
themselves and about the world. For parents with kids that
have recently been diagnosed, you gotta think of them as being
sick as if they were physically ill. You know, if your son has got a
a gushing wound on his chest, you’re gonna do everything you can
to get him into hospital and get
that treated and then once it’s been treated by
doctors, you’re gonna keep them in
bed and look after the wound, make sure they take their
medicine, and you clean it, and you need the same sort
of tenacity, the same level
of dedication when they’ve got a
mental illness as well. And you’ve kind of gotta understand
that they’re very similar things, just but you can’t see it, you
can’t touch it but they’re still ill, and they still need the same the
same care, and, you know, without
that care, then they’re not gonna get better.


  1. I still dont know if i have it, im actually afraid to tell my doctor it feels like people are watching me and that i cant sleep for days on end, everytime someone drives by my house i get jumpy for no reason and start getting a sick feeling like they are after me, and when i talk to people i tend to repeat words and talk really fast but i brush it off and act like its normal so people dont think im crazy but Everyone at school is always calling me weird and notices that i dont look people in the eyes and most of the time im shaky, alot of the time when im alone i hesr clicking and ringing noises. And i get angry over almost nothing half the time and i dont realize that i was mad for no reason until i calm down and it feels like i cant control it. If anyone knows if this is somehing else please let me know

  2. I watched one documentary about this stuff.. and it was so excellent.. but i now i cannot find it on youtube..

  3. I would envy a rock for the luxury that it has. The luxury of the condition of its non-consciousness. That is, its lack of a consciousness. Its lack of a vulnerable mind. It's lack of a torturous thought. And also its lack of a sensation of pain. The blessedly insensate and insensible object that it is! Oh my, yes, I would envy a rock indeed!

  4. What's it called if your perception of reality is completely different than others, but there's no problem, no anxiety, just cool cool cool cool?

  5. I’ve had it before and it’s crazy 😖😖😖 I thought life wasn’t real and nothing was real. And it was spooky

  6. in my last year at school i experience something like this , ended up in hospital for about 2 months ,i was 18 .at the time. i still feel smoking hash /marajuana triggered it

  7. I've had my first severe Episode in April this year, hospitalized myself because I knew something was terribly off.
    For me it was drug induced and I'm still on my way of recovery.
    I wish the best to everyone who's going through psychosis, take care and don't give up <3

  8. I can speak from experience about this. If the sufferer looks at all like the conventional interpretation of a drug addict or homeless person the perceptions become entirely different. People may not like t admit it but appearance matters. Trust me ur not as readily accepted if u look different. Edit so how do u focus on getting better when ur stressing about how t afford ur rent and food in the same month? Given the accents this seems t b UK but in Canada (Ontario) resources are not at all abundant.

  9. hi. It is my belief that psychotics are not sick, they are instead in a hyper state, the purpose of this hyper state is to flush out the junk they have received (there's a lot of bs out there) and rebuild their mental maps at the fundamental level. This involves shaking off all authoritative abuse, directly or indirectly imposed on them. When they come out the other end they come out stronger. In the western system we see this "death and rebirth" process as "illness", it is not illness. Labelling it as such only disables people. It is a natural process that occurs when people have a lot of suppressed energy that needs expression, such people are extremely strong and one of the challenges of the psychotic is learning non-violent communication and channeling that energy constructively. Of course, after the abuse that happens to them in the mental health system, I am not surprised they often want to avoid people at all costs as society NOT ONLY provides no value for them, society is actually COUNTER-VALUABLE to their needs. 50% of surviving mental illness is avoiding people who could potentially hospitalise you against your will.

  10. What did you guys experience? All they’re Experiences sound like if they’re connecting with they’re inner self. We are a spiritual being. We can all connect with our inner world and experience many things with different types of meditation. Some don’t even meditate and are able to connect. Be a positive person and think positive. What ever you set your mind to, you will do. It is all in our consciousness , And never give up! Y’all are not alone, just try and cleanse your 7 chakras through meditations and doing and being positive. Hope it helps someone and you guys should look into it. Keywords# third eye awakening, chakras, crystals, positive meditations, yoga, manifesting every night and morning positive things like peace, love, abundance, prosperity, wealth , health etc

    God Bless everyone one of you 🙏🏼

  11. I have a serious question to ask.
    But. If you have thoughts and feelings that the government/other people are watching, tracking and spying on you.
    And you know that it is possible and also historically accurate. (MkUltra Project, Secret Service Practices, Computer Hacking, Phone Tapping.. etc)

    How is it delusional to believe it could be happening to you?

    Is it subject to a burden of proof on the victims part.
    i.e; That the victim/complaintant must prove that it IS happening to them, in-order to be diagnosed as NOT delusional?..

  12. I had psyshosis. Everything was like a horror film and i was in it being tortured with psychological atacks. Every human movement meant something to me and i was very confused. Like if someone turn their head a little bit to the right it meant that he doens't want to hear more of my sayings and i always got sad.

  13. This documentary is very interesting, but it falls short like all other documentaries of its type do: it only interviews people with psychosis who have insight into their condition and accept that they have a problem. Most people with psychosis think they are right, everyone else is wrong, and there's no illness at all.

    I have a relative who has delusions about persecution from someone in their life over 25 years ago. He believes this person has predicted his entire life, and has basically 'programmed' the person to act, think, and feel a particular and harmful way. No amount of medication, doctors, hospital visit (involuntary), talk therapy, arguments with family, etc can change the point of view. Some of the acts and behaviours of my relative have been very harmful indeed.

    It's extremely frustrating debating with a ghost. I can never accept the stories about this persecuting individual from 25 years ago because the story makes no logical sense. My relative sometimes is deep in thought trying to extract meaning from it all, but when I ask him to explain he just stutters and stammers without giving any answers.

  14. Man my heart goes out to the boxer, I live in Hawaii and it just reminds me of my local friends that has hardships that others wouldn’t be able to understand so they gotta act tough.

  15. The hard part is not giving up. It's hard to love yourself when you have mental illness. There's guilt associated with it. You are your worst enemy. Or so we believe.

  16. i believe 80 percent of the worlds mental illnesses that plaques us today are from all the drugs hormons in our food an water these days .u never heard of this much mental illness oon a massive scale 50 years ago what has changed .think abt it

  17. Thank you for including hope in this video and recovery processes, instead of just the manifestations of psychosis. A lot of videos on the subject can make a person feel hopeless so it's nice to see recovered/recovering people.

  18. when i was younger i did not take mental illness seriously and sometimes joked about it.. but i NEVER joke about this anymore.. when u feel like u are REALLY gonna lose your mind, it is extremely frightening.. my prayers are with everyone dealing with this illness.. love you all

  19. I got diagnosed with psychosis and it's still a little hard to enjoy things. If you're reading this and you have psychosis, don't give up. You got this, and you're awesome

  20. The path to best psychosis is toward the fear not avoiding the feeling of fear. It’s a spiritual calling that you need support from a shaman with. Drugs and therapists on the whole is like trying to put the wrong key in the lock

  21. Can u allow French subitle bcs Is intresting but i Cannot understand all is hard im french thank u 🙂 and sorry for my English hehe

  22. mine comes with crippling paranoia. i become a threat to strangers and myself. i need immediate hospitalization, which I've done 3 times. someone mentioned psychosis is hell. that's exactly what its like. it's like feeling nauseous 24-7 and theres no relief. my latest break lasted 3 weeks and i lost 20 pounds

  23. New studies show that many of mental illnesses are related to out microbiome and other pathogenic activities in our bodies.

  24. Image this. There is a room full of people, standing room only. You walk into the room, see no one, walk through the room, without bumping into anyone, then leave the room. You have officially 'lost touch' with reality. Psychosis.

  25. These people are diagnosed with psychosis, because psychiatrists and pharmacists want money! Psychosis people are not lying! They know things others don’t know. They’re not crazy, they’re normal.

  26. If you want to cast out demons make sure to fast and cast them out of you. Do a fast where you only drink water and no food. Fast from 8am to 6pm from morning until the evening. Tell the specific demon that is attacking you to go out of you in the name of Jesus. Repeat telling this demon to go out of you in the name of Jesus over and over untill you feel you have said it enough. You can repeat this up to 5 minutes if necessary. You want to keep repeating this to make sure you compeletly cast the demon out. It may take more than one fast to cast the demon out. The reason for the fast is because in the bible it says howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting. A lot of times people will try to cast out demons but it wont work because they only come out of you if you fast. Try casting them out while fasting because you dont know which kind of demon it is. The reason for the times I picked to fast is because in the bible a lot of times people would fast from morning till the evening. You want to tell the demon to go out of you in the name of Jesus because that is how Jesus did it in the bible so make sure to use those words. Make sure that you have faith and belief that you will cast the demons out because in the bible it says to ask in faith with nothing wavering. The bible says that if you doubt then you should not expect to receive anything from God. It also helps to cast the demons out if you are saved. The bible says and these signs shall follow them that believe, in my name they shall cast out devils. So just like the 12 disciples if you are saved you to have the power to cast out devils and heal the sick. Jesus is the son of God!

  27. God removes it all praying for you all i had severe depression and anxiety and God removed it testimony in my channel

  28. If you have a mental illness, try jesus! If you dont have mental illness then dont reply to this because if you actually do have a mental illness you'll do anything to get out of that torture….when the voices come and when the confusion sets in just remember this= cry out to jesus! Say his name and say it loud, ask him to save you because he hears your cries and he will give you rest. Amen.

  29. It’s demons. Like vampires they can’t come in unless u or ur covering (parents) let’s them in and they r definitely afraid of the light. So RISE AND SHINE!)

  30. My case is isolated from what they call mental illness or psychosis because I can distinguish between imagination and reality. I don't know how it feels or no symptoms manifest because I'm taking right dose of medication. Why do I say that my case is isolated? Because it is based on my experience, reality testing I'm experiencing reality not a distortion of my senses or illusion or imagination. How do you explain my case is different from other patients, I'm not mentally ill or having an psychotic episode. I'm speaking based on my experience, this is a breakthrough. It's not hard for me to accept because I know that I'm not mentally ill. I feel better and not in distress, recovery is only temporary state of being healthy. I need a distraction from all of the stressful events that I witnessed, I don't want to punished myself to ruminate what happened to me. It's a torture because no one explain why. It's virtual reality, virtually in the world of social media and internet where everyone have access and everyone can watch it in YouTube not only in television. If you're thinking that I'm mentally ill, How can you explain my case? Different from other people. How can you explain the virtual reality of social media, internet and television? I'm not mentally ill, I'm speaking based on my experience! Doctors is also judgemental, biased and unfair. They don't truly understand my situation and I'm being labeled as mental ill patient or giving a concrete diagnosis such as psychosis but they don't know or not truly understand my situation. Do you think I will only make up stories or aggreviate my emotions and feelings, I'm having an explosive breakdown because of all the stressful experiences I witnessed. I'm not as stupid as what you underestimated me. I have limitations in terms of knowledge and information but I'm not as stupid as you think.

  31. If u believe and trust in Jesus Christ as ur Lord and savior and build a regular daily routine of some kind… with no drugs not even from a doctor or drinking u will be transformed into the person u were born to be my big advice to people… don't let other people or places or things get to ur head cause this world will play tricks on you especially when it knows ur conditions… it's all about more self mind control practice in good routins so I pray my Lord Jesus Christ my soul to keep AMEN!!!.

  32. I don't know what psychosis is, or how they describe it. Everyone has a different experience. My case is different from what they call mentally ill patients, why I have to constantly consult in psychiatry? she can answer the questions if you ask her! Why I need to consult in psychiatry? It's pretty obvious, I don't need to explain why I need to consult in psychiatry. My case is different from other patients, there is nothing I can do! This is the only way I can protect myself from my vulnerability and other people evil motives. Life is simple but they make it very complicated for me. I don't have any choice! This is the best decision I ever did in my entire life or else I will suffer from the worst nightmare a person can experience in her entire life. Mental illness is the worst nightmare someone can ever experience! In able to protect myself from the bad psychological consequences of media, I need to undergo a treatment plan and follow up on psychiatrist, I don't have any options at all. The best way to prevent mental illness and protect myself from mental illness is to consult in psychiatry. No need for verbal explanations, those people who truly understand and know my situation will not judge. Life is simple but they make it complicated for me. The psychiatrist can answer all your questions but never admit or hide too much information from me. The reason, why I need to constantly seek for a professional help of a psychiatrists, main reason is to prevent acquiring mental illness and suicide! My case is different and isolated from other people suffering from mental illness. If you ask me why? I don't know, it's unbelievable! The only person can enlighten you and can truly answer your questions is to ask The Psychiatrist! They said that suicide is the permanent solution to temporary problems. I guess I'm lucky. Mental illness can't be cured but medication can improve the quality of life and mask the symptoms for you to be able to live a more healthier life. Mental illness can be manage by medication. Success stories is not always 100% chance of recovery, remission. I guess I'm lucky! ☹️

  33. My son drank himself to death aged 41 three years ago because of this. The Nhs in the UK was hopeless treating him,they had no understanding or empathy.The most important thing is to have friends and family to be there come what may.This is an illness of the brain and soul,my son believed the devil was after him.It started when he was about twelve but i think the signs were there before.In the end he gave up fighting he became tired.He was a good,kind man and a talented guitarist but he was lonely.Please give these people your time,your hand,help them to see the way out of the darkness,men are especially vulnerable.

  34. The constant gaslighting and the back and forth back and forth from narcissists over an extended period can cause severe delusion and psychosis.

  35. If you are or your relative have psychotic experiencies I advise you to visit ISPS UK or US website. There's also organization called Hearing Voices Network. I don't underestimate to effect of psychosis but there's other open and In my point more humane methods out there and nobody's alone.

  36. Actually it's somewhat similar experiences I had while on was weed 🙂 I quit smoking weed but when I was younger. There would be better to have someone attentive and accepting person around. As weed wore off, these "effects" too.

  37. Definitely relate. Smoked alot of weed when i was younger, suffered from pychosis and fear of eye contact for last 20 years. Tough, and you look relatively normal from the outside, but you feel alien. Head up to the ppl suffering.

  38. I had it for a about 10 yrs. Usually when some kind of catastrophic event in your life. Like a death in the family brings it on. Its awful. I was have distorted grey black nightmares and voices. And for years I tried getting rid of them. Finally i did,sort of. The voices are so far away I am able to ignore them. I used to use ear phones to drown them out . I dont need them any more. Everything is working ok now .

  39. We are conditioned by everything around us. As much as people are made in one way they are made in any other, this includes how we treat each other. Despite neurological or economic or other influences, it always seems mental disorders involve some percentage of social condition that promotes them. A lot is beyond our ability, but everything we do matters. Consider your actions.

  40. What if psychosis is just actually seeing the truth about life and we have been told it’s bad and unnatural? Crazy conspiracy theory, I know.

  41. Jesus Christ is willing and able to set you completely free and heal you. It’s a personal choice. A decision only you can make. Knock and He will answer.

    God Bless ✝️🙏🏼💛

  42. Everybody who has someone who needs help, please don't push them away! They are not fault for the illness they have. As someone who lost most of his friends due to psychosis and drug use, having someone beside you who will help in the bad times, is the most important thing you can get. My biggest regret since I'm "normal" is that I destroyed most of my relationships with people who where important to me. Accepting that I've done so much bad things is a bigger fight for me than the illness itself.

  43. Psychosis is tough i Had 2 episodes in my life for me it was Like constantly watching a scary movie constant tension also i thought that i was a expirment running on a Computer
    And i Had the Power to contoll everything
    Sounds stupid even writing this but when you are psychotic it is the best guess you have about what is Happening to you

  44. This kind of things scares me because, not only have I had mental health issues since I was 13 (I'm 24 now), but my father had pretty severe paranoid schizophrenia.

  45. My cousin passed away 3 days ago from a psychotic episode. I feel like I’m living in a trance, in a day dream. I’m still waiting for someone to tell me this is all an elaborate prank.

    This video is helping me achieve some sense of closure…

  46. This done so well. I appreciate it a lot. One day mental health won't have such a stigma and people will be more comfortable reaching out to get help.

  47. I went through a psychotic break, and thought that the elite were trafficking children and the cia was spying on the public. Turns out that I was right 😝.

  48. Does anyone experiencing psychosis get incredibly increased heart rate to the point it feels like it’s ready to jump out of your chest during an episode?

  49. Ive recently developed psychosis as i had been keeping a huge secret for 20yrs from trauma from ages of 5yrs to 7 and then throughout my primary ages

  50. I've dealt with psychosis for around half a year now, i hear voices all the time, and i get so angry for no reason and im sorry for everyone dealing w/ it

  51. i experienced drug induced psychosis from adderal at 17 i’m 19 now i have been trying to get back into the guidance center . i imagined people breaking into my house kicking down the door these people were so real to me i could see them shaking i could see the sweat on there face . i ran into my neighbors house with a blade in hand and 911 on the phone . police came took me to the hospital the whole time i thought they were trying to put me to sleep shoot me with darts anything . i seen swat teams hiding in the room next to me . completely out of my mind i feel like even now at 19 i’m still experiencing paranoia depression sleep deprived. court problems hanging over my head . i am completely sober at this moment and have been for at least a month . I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ! 🙁 i have been threw so much bullshit in my life . i just want someone to help me . so i hope i get back into the guidance center soon to get me help

  52. When I was 15 to around the age of 17 I had a very strange experience, I thought my dreams were real. I was scared all the time. I shut myself in my room and didn't come out for days. Constantly pacing. I was obsessed with fire. And contacting the devil. And then as soon as it started it stopped. I woke up one day and it wasn't there anymore

  53. Psychosis is a torturous experience. My therapist had me start a blog to tell stories about what living with psychosis was like. You can read about is at

  54. on march of this year i had a traumatic event, a violent assault that happened to me and my brother… one month later i had a psychotic event. and then, panic attacks, intermittently.

  55. I’m glad that mental illness is becoming first in line and showing importance and at the same time it’s ok to embrace ones with mental illness. Love helps heal.

  56. I had when I went to sleep faking it so my wife would not notice front of my bed there was a mirror that I saw the reflection of the window behind me on top I saw one lady and a younger girl on top of my wife writing ✍️ in a book everything I was doing I thought in my mind there were angels cuz I was faking sleeping

  57. Psychosis or a spiritual awakening… My psychosis experiences are isolated to tarot videos, when I watch them it "feels" like I'm having telepathic conversations with the devil. I had been studying the occult and got deep into it, and was using my own cards as a communication tool with spirits like a Ouija board. But when I started to watch the tarot videos the messages I was getting were about selling your soul and signing contracts etc. At first I thought I was going crazy but the messages were a constant repeat.

    One reader put the fear of God into me when she said this "welcome back and thanks for tuning into this sacred space, time and space are an illusion so take from that what you will. I have the devil here looking to negotiate a contract"

    For over a year I heard messages like this whenever I watched tarot videos. Through watching them I experienced the breakdown of my ego and was because of the situation I was in, I seen no other option but to turn to God, throughout it I prayed for discernment to see the truth, and in my eyes the truth was delivered, I seen how evil and manipulative these readers were, they unconsciously revealed their true colours throughout the process.

    This all started because I wanted to know more about myself, trying to heal past traumas and looking for a purpose in life. It turned into a trip through hell and being pulled out of it by the grace of God.
    (I was also a non-believer)

    While I was having this experience of being dragged through hell in my mind, I just wanted to know WHY. I could cope with my other struggles but this experience was just too much, having the answer be because your a child of God and he is trying to wake you up answered so many questions and brought relief that I let it all go and walked away from it. If I didn't have the word of God and the bible I would have probably hospitalised myself.

    I encourage anyone who has psychosis episodes to pray to God for discernment and to ask why your having this experience. Having answers for your experiences helps a lot.

    Waking up spiritually is a journey and a lot of people get lost on the path and end up stuck in bad mental state and diagnosed with mental disorders because they can't figure out what is going on with them.
    The word of God is powerful, pray and you won't be disappointed.

  58. Now struggling to get help for a family member. She is not cooperating. Paranoia has caused her to hide and not have trust. We are more than willing to help
    and support, but when we offer her help, she denies needing it and gets angry and belligerent at us. What do we do??

  59. we came from the big bang, we will go with a big bang, people , losing the plot ,something is going on..on a grand scale

  60. Please if there is anyone with psychosis reading this, there is power in the name of Jesus, the problem you're having is spiritual, you must be born again, ask the Lord Jesus to forgive you, repent and believe that He died on the cross for your sins and rose again the third day. He can help you, He can deliver you! No medications will help you! Just Jesus!

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