How to Help Someone with Depression – What Actually Helped Me!


Welcome everyone to “depression to expression” My name is Scott and today We’re talking about how to help someone that you know with depression And this is this is what the channel is all about depression, anxiety if you’re new welcome Don’t forget to subscribe and please leave a comment and a like if you enjoyed this video I’m gonna get right to it because as Millennials our attention spans are very very short So I’m gonna try to make this quick
helping someone with depression has to be one of the most selfless things you yourself can do because You can’t expect anything in return if you know a little bit about depression or you yourself have experienced it You know that you can just snap out of it. You can’t ask someone or motivate someone to snap out of it When when helping someone with depression it’s a pretty simple video because there is way more things that don’t work Then things that do The things that you can do to help someone with depression are very short And I’m gonna talk about them in just one second, but the first thing. I want to mention is you can’t expect anything in return you can’t The way you help them you’re not gonna get maybe any acknowledgement from them you may not even get a response or a thank you You have to trust in yourself that what you’re doing is the most incredible thing and that person you’re helping at that moment owes you their life Their life is in your hands and trust me we appreciate it more than you will ever know and I’m sure will tell you that when we come out of depression But for now, I just want you to know that one thing is helping someone with depression requires the most unconditional kind of love And complete selflessness with absolutely no expectations to get anything in return So that’s one thing kind of me saying I’m amazed by you, and I’m so proud of you for even clicking on this video and wanting to help a friend family member someone out with this illness and the second thing is there’s a few things you can do to help someone with depression How about a survey? Do you think that giving someone a million dollars in cash while they’re on the couch depressed? Do you think that’ll get them out of depression you? you said no, good because it doesn’t mean a damn thing It doesn’t what. If you went up to that person and you did your best comedy routine? I’m talking the best material you had You wouldn’t pursue your career as a comedian because you wouldn’t get one laugh out of this, dude You would seem like the most unfunny person on earth. There’s so few things you can do I’ll tell you what you can do and what makes all the difference Ready to shut off the video in my experience This is what has helped the most And I’ll give you an example after too Love means being there for someone Love is simply just being there Be available to that person Be on call for that person let them know Sincerely ‘whatever you need I am here for you’ Let them know that they can count on you let them know that they’re not in this alone, and you have their back, you are in their corner For as long as it takes don’t put a timeline Don’t say just wait until next week. You’ll feel better Don’t put a timeline on anything say ‘as long as you need me I am here for you’ Visit them call them text them be there The one example I want to give is what a friend Helps when when I’m in a very low state a friend has done this for me, a very good friend someone so dear to me And close to my heart When I’m in a low state somehow she always knows but She will send me a text every morning She will send me a text every morning something, maybe so simple maybe a motivational quote, maybe just saying good morning Scott You got this Maybe just something that simple good morning Scott is ok if you didn’t have a good sleep It’s such a fresh day new opportunities. You can do this one step at a time. I’ll talk to you when you get home I’m always available. I’m here for you every morning she sends me a text and here’s the thing that I said at the beginning I usually won’t reply Sometimes you don’t have the energy Don’t have the will and I know it’s just a few pushes on a on a phone But she doesn’t expect the reply That gesture alone means so much to a person suffering Knowing that they are not alone and you are there for them. No matter what and no matter for how long Loneliness is the biggest part of depression loneliness Kills people and by you being in their corner, by you showing and proving your support to them That’s all they need When I was in university suffering pretty pretty bad You could give me a million dollars Give me anything I ever wanted materialistic wise Give me all the money in the world literally all the money in the world Anything I kind of would want in a healthy state You know I kind of want the new iPhone, and I want a new MacBook, and I want a new camera and a microphone mm-hmm none of that matter All that I wanted to do Was call my sister and to talk with her People matter in these moments, people matter, and you matter for this person that you’re helping right now and just be there for them Simple Just be that loving kind gentle warming presence in their darkness and they will thank you for it, and they appreciate it so much right now Thanks for watching everyone, and I’m so proud of each and every one of you for clicking this video Because I guess it means that you are Looking to help someone who is suffering and that is the most courageous Thing you could possibly do in this world Take care. Love you

100 comments

  1. Helping someone is depression is one of the most courageous, selfless and loving things you could possibly do in life. You are a light to those in darkness. Without you, I'd still be in darkness.

  2. Subbed, thanks for what you do. The VA is absolutely worthless, and I have gained more from this video than I have from multiple visits to the wizard at the miserable VA. Thanks again.

  3. The moment you said the best way is to let that person know you are there for them. I am here for you. That's when I cried.

  4. How do i do If i am a dude and he is a dude and im not free from derpression. but he helpt me ones to break free from it. and got stuck in it him self. and i didit and are still in a depression again i do wont to help him but i dont know how. And i dont have enogh Will power to. i know his dad, he is goes on drugs we are 14 and he lett oss drink alochol and test drugs. i Will never Ever snitch on my friend Or hos dad but i wont to help him go further in Life then me, cuse i Will never Make it to live healthy and clean Life from drugs. but he is not as dragd in to it yet. i know its a old video and u Will proble not respond, but if you do pls give me a tip or 2 if u maby have any upp your slevs (im so sorry for the bad english i am young and swedish whit dyslexsi but i did try my best to right so you maby Will under stand som of it at least) im realy thank full if you maby do ansute and do realy need some advais cuse im in deep shit and my friend is on the way to get there.

  5. Fuck man, I wish the people in my life did stuff like this. I’m hanging on by the skin of my teeth right now.

  6. Thank you for making me proud of myself.. You know this has motivated me more to support my friend! Thank you Scott!

  7. My girlfriend suffers, it’s so hard. I adore her, she’s my world and all I think about is her. She’s the same with me, but she’s always got this dark cloud following her. I’m here for her 24/7, I will do anything for her. I’m here to fight with her every day until I die, and I’ve told her all this and will continue to do so daily. We’re so happy together, it’s a dream.. if I could have a genie grant me one wish, it would be something I’d waste on myself.. I’d just wish that she’d be happy with herself. I love her with all my soul and I am here with her on every step of this journey. (I tell her all this, and I never expect anything in return – I’m just typing this out here for my own benefit because it’s so hard to keep your own head above the water and I just want to express my own feelings) thank you for the video, you’ve refilled my motivation cup and I cannot thank you enough

  8. Amigo come mucho pescado y calamares y vas a mejorar la falta de melanina en la sangre es la culpable de la tristeza . Porfavor a comer mas calamares son ricos en melanina y veras que sales de la depresion para siempre.

  9. Thank you for that advice. I'll be able to be fully there for my bro who's going through depression.

  10. THANK YOU so much sir for affirming people who help others with depression. Thank you for affirming me.🙂 It means a lot, kinda refuels my spirit to not give up the mission God gave me. Bless you! and yeah, thanks for making me cry! 😁😊

  11. My bf is in a really bad place, he sometimes ignores all my attempts at communication… recently I’ve been finding things hard but this video gave me the courage to continue to be there for him, after all I do love him regardless

  12. Thanks so much for the video. I don’t have depression but I have known many people who do. This is great video for me to understand them. And more importantly, how to support those people. And you have the most beautiful sole who shares your hard experience with people. And help them to get out of depression

  13. not sure you're gonna reply this or not, but… there's someone told me if i try to support her like that, she'll just more push me away… should i keep support her?

  14. This is fantastic… Thank u for sharing….I went through a rough week and a half.just off the scales for me. Couldn't do anything… And cancelled plan with my boyfriend cause I just couldn't keep the happy face on… I wish I could explain my depression to my boyfriend… I have tried.. and he says…"oh you just get overwhelmed sometimes…. Everything is great! Don't think about that stuff" I just don't think he wants to know or understand how to help or that there is something different about me .. idk it kinda hurts that he doesn't want to know anything. Does that make sense?

  15. Thank you so much for this video! My gf suffers and this video was a really good reminder of how I can help her. What you are doing is very helpful and is very much appreciated. Keep it up, brother. You got this

  16. Hi! I extend my help to a friend with anxiety through simple acts. But I dont know if I should be distancing myself so I dont invade my friend's personal space. How would I know if I become an annoyance?

  17. This has helped so much, just the fact that they know that they're not alone and there's someone there who cares despite their current situation makes a huge difference

  18. My dad has been clinically depressed before I was even born. I am almost 17. He’s tried to commit suicide so many times my family lost count. And we don’t even talk about our feelings in my family. So every time he tries nobody confronts him. But me. My siblings hate him because of his alcoholic tendencies and outbreaks of stress. And I know he can hurt our feelings by his stress, but I am the one who tries to make him feel better. He is addicted to coke a cola and sometimes I would give him one and he’d smile. I can talk about emotions but at least he knows I care. He was once in another city for something, and he called me all night. I was ignoring it because I thought it was one of his drunk friends trying to call for him. And it kept ringing and ringing and I decide to answer it. My dad called and said he was lost. He was drunk and lost in a big city yelling to me he was going to die. And he kept calling for directions and for my great aunt to find him. And he was crying. And he kept telling me he loves me. And i was scared he was going to commit suicide. He came back safe though. And I found out months later that he did try that night. He jumped off a building and broke his collar bone again. And he didn’t tell anyone. And I feel like it was my fault. I couldn’t done something. He could have died. So he recently moved to that city because social services told my legal mom (my dad’s mom, she adopted the three of us, his children.) that two teen daughters can’t sleep in the living room where there are drunk people coming in and out. And there are 5 of us and 3 bedrooms. One for my legal mom and dad, one for my recently adult brother, and one for my sister and i. And I feel like every day he’s going to do it again. And it’ll be my fault. So I try to talk to him everyday and it’s so hard. He still has to get surgery for his collar bone and he’s still looking for jobs. He’s staying with my great aunt in that town.

  19. excellent advice ,I am about to help a very dear friend who is in a very low place, you have confirmed to me the strategy to help him .thankyou .

  20. Thanks man you have helped me so much to help my loved one and they are looking much happier now thanks I appreciate it

  21. You sure can have someone snap out of it!!! But first you have to understand what the purpose of depression is.

  22. What's ironic is that poor people seldom if ever suffer from depression lol. Depression is a first world problem. And the reason is, that it has to do with self actualization. Depressed people simply focus constantly on their own failings or problems. Vs. looking for solutions or simply accepting their status as being ok.

  23. I need help badly. My therapy isn't working. I sit in a chair with no money, dust, spiders. No one ever calls. For years on end. I'm so tired. Money would help me. I reached out to a minister and rejected me.

  24. I do help my mom. But it has nearly killed me. I'm alone too much. No cash. Disabled. -You are a really terrific, great looking person. You can make it through and do great. I have been thru dark depression, anxiety, abuse–no running water- so much you would not believe that I could make it to sixty years old. Years ago, I contributed to society very intensely as a professor. Then, I got ill. No one cares and I don't care that much that they don't. No one EVER calls me. Never. Not for ten years. Maybe my mom if she wants me to bring her something across town. Zero friends. No one likes me and will bully me if I get out. I'm overwhelmed. I've tried. Can't. Addicted to utube.

  25. It is really nice see how people want to help people with depression. I will like to know someone who wants to help me, I feel like dying.

  26. Thank you for the video. Someone I love clearly showed depression today and I was lost. I didn’t know what to do and I really still don’t because I’m worried. Now I have a sense of direction though.

  27. I have anxiety and depression I am new to your videos and no one dost not understand me how I am in axinty and depression and no one dost not helping me out and getting worse when someone saying the woring thangs I have no one to talk to anc I haveing prolmes with it and they dost not love me and they never call me or checking up on me I am going induing to my self my name is Shawna goode. Scott. I am lonyens and I am not doing so well so can you please sending me some great videos about anixty and depression on my YouTube account on my YouTube channel

  28. I find it so difficult to help my loved one as she expresses her anger, envy and dissatisfaction towards me. I understand she is suffering, does not have energy to do things and I help her best I can. But at the same time I know it is just matter of time when she tells me how badly I treat her because I didn't compliment her new dress or I didn't send her message two years ago when she needed it most. Basically she wants me to understand that I'm not a perfect person, which I know without telling it to me. I also shouldn't defend myself, because that doesn't make her feel any better. Like you said, I shouldn't expect anything from her – like taking any responsibility of her own feelings and attitude. As she is depressed, she is automatically justified to do and say whatever and my role is to support her. I should listen, understand but not to offer any solutions. Of course I understand depressed person is going through hellish times, but we who love them walk very close to the same route. Difference is that we are not yet depressed and therefore we can still give. But I'm so scared can I ever give enough and am I also sinking into depression as all I get is reminders of how I do not understand how to support her. 🙁

  29. Loneliness is a big part of my life. I could need a person like that. Somebody who notices, who cares. Im so used to people not caring, not understanding. I opened up but always got a kick back. So I dont anymore. I just cant take another hit and I got so sensitive that its nearly impossible for people not to hurt me no matter what they do. Not having anyone to connect and understand took its toll on me. I cried when I first listened to Open up by Matt Simons I cried because I knew if someone in the future would happen to care I wouldnt be able to open up anymore. (If you know MBTI, Im an INFP , maybe that makes sense for some people.)

  30. My bf has depression and never texts me, calls me or anything, he even takes his anger out on my friends. But I clicked on this video because I want to help him.

  31. This man's video, the look in his eyes, the depth in his voice. I felt that intense urge. Probably this is that only video on internet, that made me feel so much in few minutes. Thank You. Thank you for making this video.

  32. my friend on discord someone I've been friends with for a very long time told me she use to cut then a friend stabbed her in the back and her depression came back she hasn't started cutting yet so i wanted to help her to a better stage in depression where she didn't cause self harm and it worked she's still a little sad but it's an improvement from self harm, so thank you

  33. I’m Scared Because I Never Had Someone That Cane In My Life That Had Depression So This Is So New To Me 🤦🏾‍♀️ I Just Want To Help This Person But I Don’t Know How. This Person Wants Me To Leave Them Alone But No Matter What I’m Not Going To Do That I Just Need To Know How.

  34. Good video. Thanks for sharing. Survey says: No. No. YEP: Love, being there for them, that's the key. That's about it.

  35. My crush has depression, and last night she said she was going to end it all. I dont know if she was being for real or not i hope not, because if she was serious i cant live with myself knowing that i could have been the one to have caused her to kill herself.

  36. i really want to help my friend, but live they really far away. they were diagnosed a few weeks ago, but already had my suspensions. i really am trying to understand them. i can’t do that much, i promised them that i would always be there for them. i just feel so lost, they promised me they wouldn’t kill themselves, but i can’t physically be there for them. i’m so worried all the time. i send them a text everyday after school and i really wish they could tell me more about what they’re going through, but im not going to pressure them for it…. if you have any advice please tell me!

  37. I'm struggling to help my friend, shes haveing trouble trusting anyone at all and wont say anything even tho I can see she dose, it's been going on for a while now and now I see how bad it actually is and being there for her isn't helping at all, in fact it's just makeing it harder for her, what do I do ?

  38. Thanks for sharing your video give me a better idea of what to do i know someone with metal health and depression… i want to help thanks for the tips

  39. I like your videos Scott, but make sure that you are not being taking advantage of. I found out the hard way.

  40. how do you help someone out of depression that you said you would buy all of these things for her because she is in a horrible country and her life is upside down but you don't have the money?

  41. Please, I need tips. I have a friend who is suffering from depression and they've told me about their home life and I dont want to put their private info on here but all im gonna say is it broke my heart because I just feel so sorry for them because I cant think if a way to help. It seems inescapable to me so please let me know how to help.

  42. My girlfriend sufferes and suffered from depression. I did what you said and I'm happy that I did the right thing from the get go. I don't know if I am enough though and that's the biggest problem I have. I can be there, but I can only do so much for her.
    I wish you all best of luck and have patience people. Patience and love is the key

  43. i first subscribed and then liked this video. coz i was literally crying. this video touched me to the core of my heart. coz a friend of mine is dealing with depression and i want to help her. and pull her out of this.

  44. Thank you for sharing this advice! I have felt so helpless in seeing my Mom struggle with depression and the disfunctional situation in her home, that I've tried to detach myself away from all of it, since she refuses my help. I didn't know how I could help someone who isn't willing to help themselves…This video made me realize that I can make a difference by being there for her and I just need to drop my expectations. Thank you for this. I am going to try this different approach

  45. everytime my best friends depression starts to get bad again i watch this video. i love and care for him so so so much and it’s insanely hard and utterly frustrating having to come to terms with the fact that i cant pull him out of it, i have to just be here and wait and try my absolute best to remind him through it all that i am here and i do care. my worst fear is growing to resent him for it, because its so easy for me to say “just do this or do that, it helped me” because i dont have depression, so those things do help me but they wont always help him and he may just not even have the energy to try right now. i dont wanna say that its draining for me but it is at times, and it’s important for me to set aside time for myself and to remind myself that i am helping him even if i feel like im not, and when he can again, he will express his gratitude as he always does. it is hard to love someone when you cant truly understand their struggles, but when you understand that they are not their struggles they are the person who is dealing with them and recognizing that puts the situation into a healthier perspective as an outsider, and allows me to continue being there for the strong and amazing person i love so dearly.

  46. I'm curenly looking for a way to help my friend who ended up in a very bad situation. It's one of the best friends I've ever got and I don't want to lose him. Thank you for these tips, I'll try to do the nest I can.

  47. Thank you for reminding me to expect nothing
    I love so much and need to remember this
    I’m so very grateful
    I love this person so much
    Thank you

  48. Tears you are blessing me so much on how to help
    I just sent a text before I found your video
    Yes his loneliness hurts him so much
    Thank you for sharing it’s just me being there
    I’m so overly grateful you hv no idea
    I’ll call everyday
    You’ve changed two worlds today
    I’m so grateful
    Be blessed thank you for saying you’re proud I needed that too
    I love him so much

  49. Unfortunately, one of my best friends is going through depression, i'm trying to help her the best I can. Hopefully this video will help me give her advice. Please pray for her. I love her and I hope she gets the help she needs.

  50. This really helped me thank you so much, I am watching this to help support my new bf who has just slowly opened up about his depression and now I know not to panic if he doesn’t reply to my message, to remind him I love him, to remind him that someone even when he feels like no one does, cares about him and I loved the idea of texting someone in the morning because at the minute his depression has got worse since going back to college and all he thinks about is dropping out but I am hoping the morning text will give him some motivation, thank you 🙂

  51. I'm not a hugger but I'm in dark place and I'm in pain and the thoughts are getting worse and worse and the one things I want most in the world is to hug the person who has become important to me.

  52. Just started watching your videos. This video gave me encouragement that what I'm doing for my boyfriend is enough. He told me he had bipolar disorder in July. It didn't scare me away from wanting to keep hanging in there with him. This week's depressive episode is worst one he's had since knowing about it. Right now it's a long-distance relationship and I feel helpless being 800 miles away. Hoping my texts are helping him in some way. He is the most selfless person I know. Even when he is so-so, he tells me to get my rest. I love him very much and simply hate knowing he is feeling bad.

  53. Scott, I watched this video more than once this past week. Even though I didn't expect replies, I sent my boyfriend several texts with well wishes to let him know I'm there for him as long as it takes. Just when I was worrying I had sent too much, he messaged me yesterday morning and thanked me for the messages. I sent three songs as "I'll Stand By You" (Pretenders), "House Of Love" (Amy Grant and Vince Gill) and the one he said he really loved was "A Shoulder To Cry On" (Tommy Page). He even had set up a meeting with a psychiatrist appointment to get outside help to deal with all the negative thoughts of failure, feeling like a burden to friends and family and low self esteem. Told him how proud I was of him for taking that step to reach out and not try to deal with it alone. Thank you a million times over for this and the other videos. Helps me understand him a bit more. I love him a bit more each day and you are so right about how material things don't mean a thing, but unconditional love and support without expectation. Just taking our relationship day by day. Thank you!

  54. You made me cry man ……. I umm have a crush who I think suffers from mental illness ….and it tortures me … makes me cry ….she keeps saying that she is lonely …. she misses her mom and friends … And I can't help … but thanks man you made my day! Now I can acc help love ❤️
    And mental illness is a really serious problem people

  55. I’m with my gf who is depressed.. barely texting me, & she is an alcoholic as well. She’s trying to navigate, while I’m in the corner. Idk what else to do. I feel like I’m bothering her when I text her and get nothing in return… but I know it’s RIGHT now, but it’s for sure hard at the moment. Detrimental to us

  56. My boyfriend and i are in a long distance relationship and both have depression and being apart just makes it harder because i can't help him and he can't help me , i thought our relashionship would become stronger and that we would set goals for our future toghether but since i left everything has becoming apart, we are still toghether though but we keep disapointing each other, i feel the need to be alone and he feels the need to talk to me all the time, i feel like instead of helping him i'm making him feel worse.

  57. Thank you so much
    You really made me feel like i am doing my best in helping my husband even if he is not responding but you just give me a big push to continue what i am doing

  58. I think i speak for many people here when I say thank you so much for showing us to care for our loved ones. I am going to help him get through this and I promise i will be with him every step of the way pulling him out of this hole of eternal darkness

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