How Create Tension & Flirt With Women


How do you create tension, and kind of be
a little bit like, pulling away from a girl but without making her feel like
crap right. What a lot of guys used to do like I say, they used to do like the
whole “neg” thing. Which is like a put-down. You basically, it’s like a, often a
backhanded compliment, so you’ll compliment something but you’ll, you’ll
take it away at the same time. I think that kind of comes up naturally because
if you think about it, when you’re with your friends right, your mates, and you’re
not worried about trying to impress them or being cool and all that kind of stuff,
you kind of joke around a lot. You’re silly, you’re playful, all that kind of
thing, and so it’s kind of the same thing when you’re with a girl. So like with
your friends you’ll often see mates that they’re kind of teasing each other, right.
You’re like giving each other sh1t, that kind of thing, right. So it’s the same
sort of vibe with a girl. Now you have to start this dynamic right from the
beginning. We call it like, being like fun and flirty, and so when you’re flirting
with a girl it’s, it’s never just like [serious voice] “Everything’s so serious and logical” and
stuff like that. So the first thing you want to focus on is the whole vibe of the
interaction. So you don’t want to have like a serious or like outcome-based
sort of interaction with her. You want to just have more of a fun, getting to know…
like, the whole purpose of the interaction should really be about the
energy and the fun behind it. The second thing you can do is, because, like most
guys do like all the nice stuff, right. They’re all like friendly and nice and
so let’s look at that first ’cause what are some of this sort of friendly and
nice things that guys do too much of with girls? [audience calling out answers] Complements. What else? Buying drinks, buying drinks, dinner, right? What else? Like, laughing at her jokes, yeah, trying
to be cool and impress her, right. Being agreeable, yeah. So all that kind of stuff,
right. But no guys ever really, like they’re too scared to like tease a girl a little
bit, like give her a bit of sh1t, right? Like, say she was like an accountant or
something, right, and you might say “So tell me what you do?”. She’s like “I’m an accountant”. You go “Awesome, so do you have those square glasses or something like
that?” That’s kinda like a bit of a cheeky thing right to say. Alright, or “Do you
have like an abacus on your desk?” or you know something like that you can kind of
tease her about it right. Or, “Do you like do maths for fun or..?” you could say
something like that. So you’re kind of like you’re teasing her about it but
you’re not being at dick, right, And again, you’re saying it with a smile as well. So
she’s like “Okay, this guy’s not actually trying to be mean to me, he’s just trying
to be a bit of fun.” And then what you can do is when you tease her a bit you can
let her react to that and go “Oh.. no I don’t…” Like, and then you go “Naahhh, just kidding”
right, and so then you kind of go from that, you swing back to that,
because you’re being fun again, “Nooo, just kidding, I love you, come here, I was just
teasing” right. And then she goes, and then you go “No, no but seriously though like, do
you actually have those glasses?” [laughs] And you go “Na, na, just kidding! Anyway….”
And then you go, then you could talk about something else, right. And so what
you’re doing is you’re constantly swinging between the two. Remember I
showed you that line that kind of goes like that right in the interaction? So it
doesn’t need to be like mean, but it’s just like playful. And like, if she says
something that’s not funny, just don’t laugh if you’re not actually
enjoying it. Don’t stay there with her if she’s not fun or interesting, right. So
more than anything, and I was thinking about this the other day because one of
my clients asked me a similar question, I said when it comes to women and
interacting with them this way, it’s basically when you just don’t care what
they think of you, right? So when you, when you don’t care what they think of you,
you’re not like “I’ve got to try and impress them. I’ve got to do everything
perfect and stuff”, the same again like when you’re with your friends you’re not
like “Oh, I got to make sure I say cool stuff only, when I’m with my friends”, is
the same when you’re with a girl, right. So if you’re not like, just trying to be
cool or trying to impress her or, you know if your friend makes a joke that’s not
funny you go “Dude, that was, that was lame”, right? You’re not like [forced laugh] “Haaahaaa” and pretending and, she can tell when you’re not being genuine, so more than anything in a way
it’s really just being genuine, and not filtering yourself. you

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