Depression | Spoken Word Poetry

It’s not that [I] don’t want to be happy It’s that despite. How hard I try I can’t bring myself to be happy I feel suffocated embarrassed ashamed Why did I have to [be] this way? I have a great family amazing friends good academic results on paper? Everything is [ok] yeah, all I ever seem to see is sadness and grain It’s like theres this burden on me pulling me to the ground and however hard I try I can’t bring myself up I can’t bring myself to care About anything not me not him not her living has become this constant nightmare and It’s just not me Society will tell me to try Yoga. Go for a walk listen to meditation. [I] Tell them that this cannot be solved by exercise or medication It’s a disease that affects every aspect of my life my work my relationship my education and to this day despite my best efforts to explain I’m always mad with mind hesitation People ask me. Why are you always so sad [I]? i Tell them I don’t know I don’t know What I do know is that I wake up every [morning] feeling like absolute shit, and now that’s become my norm I’m afraid of the world I’m afraid of put my guard down in the fear that I will be judged for something I ccan not control Where’s the fairness of it all do you think I like to watch myself ball it is all filled with hate shame love So I hide them I put up a wall That is so high you will never see my pain or any of my thoughts We create this character She is perfect she’s invincible And so I carry on living these two lives one for the public and one just for me late at night Because that’s easier than admitting I have a problem And that’s the problem Stigma is real people and it will not go away until we realize [our] mental health is a big deal It’s a hidden disease that affect so many lives wake up and listen to the millions of cries It’s a kid who never speaks or the man who’s always tired the woman was too emotional the guy who just got fired Because he was obstacle You couldn’t get us off our bed reduce mental [health], but do you think I names colleagues, neha? Depression is the hell inside of me and it eats me up daily


  1. My brother beats me till I can’t breath I get huge bruise on my body my friends leave me when I’m at my worst and my family are disappointed in me. I’m not good enough and I’m beaten by my own brother for it. I don’t love him he drags me down and will kick and kick me and kick me. I’m all alone and I can’t tell anyone about it.

  2. And so I carry one this two lives one for the public and one for me late at night

    That line struck me I cried cause I had depression and I dealt it by my self

    Ps. Depression it just comes and goes it will stay for awhile but it will go

  3. Hey … I had depression and it has given me a mission to not let anyone suffer from it alone I am going to take up psychology and in these holidays I have opened a YouTube Channel called fight depression…do check it out…. would you like to make a video together

  4. This is my mom ever since my dad died. We miss him. It absolutely destroyed her. He might not even recognize her today. Life can be very sad sometimes. I'm watching this to try to understand. God how my heart hurts for her. More now that I'm married and can't imagine life without my wife. My poor mom.

  5. I feel the depress sometimes dealing with fake friends. I'm also a spoken word artist, this is how we heal by writing what in our heart. Check out my spoken word playlist, I subscribed 2 your channel, please follow back!

  6. I recently started going to therapy and is assigned a psychiatrist and the psychiatrist diagnosed me with mild depression but it was because of a few reasons.
    1. My family and I were in a rush and i wanted to get it over with.
    2. I lied mildly.
    3. I was actually having a decent day.
    But I dont think that my psychiatrist really understood me and idk what to do.

  7. I always feel like I'm just a piece of mistake. I don't know why I feel like this ,I always commit mistake,im clumsy I'm stupid 😭

  8. Depression is not a choice for me but everyone has a choice. But I know how to defeat depression… SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF…you never know someone is in depression but just say this"Dont think of bad things think of HAPPY things luke how you have friends and you have Taz."But dontvthink of ME

  9. I am fat but, I have friends
    I am funny , I have bad grades
    I am not perfect, but I am not useless
    I love the way I am and I will never change for anyone 😔😔

  10. MENTAL👏DISORDERS👏DON'T👏CARE👏WHAT👏AGE👏YOU 👏ARE. They don't care if you are the richest person on Earth. They don't care if you are the most beautiful person on Earth. THEY DON'T CARE

  11. Thank you so much for this !,I hope those who don't understand ,will after watching this .this is a problem that effects people ,those that don't have this problem don't understand ,I hope those that don't have this problem will try to understand .

  12. I would really like to use this video for some mental health awareness things I’m going to be doing soon. Is it ok with you for me to use it?

  13. I understand what depression is like. It had been part of me for a almost 2 years. The hardest part is often to resist the tought of ending everything.
    I have found the strenght in god. Understanding that all the guilt and shame can vanish and the void I had felt for longer then I can remember is the motivation and medicine I needed. He said he is the answer. I'm healing but I often feel unworthy of love.. yet he promised. I don't know if this helps you or not, i hope it does.

  14. So true for me. The people that know that I have depression think that I have only had it since my step mom passed away 2 years ago on July 31st, but I have had it way longer than that but they don't know that. I do have good friends, and I get good grades in school. Everyone thinks I'm ok, but the truth is I'm never ok. I am literally judged by my depression by my own family. So I don't tell any of my friends or anyone that doesn't already know cause I'm afraid that they will judge me for it too. I didn't say anything until after my step mom died in a car accident almost 2 years ago, I went to a therapist to see if I had depression like I thought I did and I was diagnosed with it. I lost all hope in almost everything after my parents divorced my step mom was starting to help me to get my life back in order when a car hit her car and killed her going down the interstate. It only made it worse.

  15. Tsk… I made another person too… She's brave nice funny awesome! Fearless she…people look up to her and I want to tell them don't… Once you look in the crack of my mask you will hate the sad crying monsterest thing I am…but i….I…just stand there and smile…. I smile…that's what I do… When I cry I say I'm okay… And smile… And I know I lie to myself… But I never stoped…. I'm afrade if I tell anyone they'll think I'm gross for whatever reason…. It sucks… Once I was crying then I heard my friend comeing and they asked me if I was okay… And I told them yeah… Then they said okay! And left…. I always ask myself… Am I good at making a mask and saying everything is okay when I really know its not! I hate the real world so… I have the mask on everyday… And I cry at night… And my mask falls off a lot…and act the real me… I get so confued…

    WHO am I? I can't tell… These two people… Are so different from me the real me doesn't FEEL like the real me… I feel so lost… I smile to hide and people sometimes see in the cracks in the mask and they ask me about it and I say I'm fine! And I try to forget about it… And then they ask me about it… Like say I did something in my other person then…. I did it again but in the "REAL" me… They'd ask if I was okay… And I'd say… Yeah… And smile the best and sweetly way I can to make them believe me… And they do… I always wish for SOMEONE! To see threw the mask and help me… Ask me what's going on… Just to help me and no matter how many times I frickn say I'm fine and smile they'd just keep asking… Tsk but… No one can see me… But the person I want to be…

  16. My friend, has always been sad. His name is kyler. His mom is a druggie, his dad is a drunk and beats him and his mom says nothing. Both his parents look normal. They act normal to people in public. People say he’s too skinny in school because he suffers from anorexia. His girlfriend broke up with him because he couldn’t answer his call because he had his phone taken away. He tried to make it up to her by buying all of this stuff and making a bracelet for them, another friend of mine organized for them to meet at a camp I go to, she didn’t know he was going, so it was perfect. She never shown up. The whole week we tried our best to make him happy but it barely helped. He made friends there, they exchanged numbers and he’s a bit happier. Currently waiting for school to start so I can see how he’s doing.

  17. I know all of what she says i feel or rather dont feel it everyday that i wake up. It never ends it never goes away.

  18. I write poetry and I am afraid of people reading . I don't know where it comes from I always just write when I start I can't stop I can write even 10 a day

  19. Someone asks "are u ok" you "I'm just tired"

    R=really faking a smile
    E=errelevent to people

  20. this is what they should show in therapy. she connects and understands the situation and makes it so though if your situation is different you can still relate to what she i saying.

  21. My self worth is proven to myself by grades. And one bad grade is what makes me feel worthless. And that’s the problem because according to people self worth can’t be determined by grades. But how do I say that to myself?

  22. Jesus loves us. Only the depressed knows the terribleness of the disease. U pray to Jesus. He is God. Also u consult a doctor. I am happy with Jesus. Other wise I would have died. Praise the lord Jesus.

  23. I was originally brought to your channel by the £ a day videos but I think this is my favourate video of yours. Keep making amazing content ❤

  24. I love her accent…

    Apart from that…she explains how i feel, but I'm a bit worse…I'm suicidal..but I'm okay! Not really…i just tell people that so i dont have a breakdown or try to explain when they'll never understand.

  25. well i mean i try to think that we're all going to die anyways so either you pull it together, plaster on a smile and face the world, or you spend the day in the darkness of your room regretting the opportunity you never took. It's kinda good to have this outlook on life because you're either always wrong or pleasantly suprised.

  26. I'm a kid ang suufer from depression and anxiety, nobody thought i'm suffering from depression since 11 years old coz i always put a smile on my face. Nobody cares, nobody listens and nobody understands, its hard for me to tell my parents about my feelings and oppinions, i can't share my side to everyone coz i'm afraid that they'll be dissapointed.
    I hate my self being me i hate myself being ugly.

    I'm turning 13 this october i'm sorry, maybe this world is not for me. Wrong time, Wrong place and Wrong generation.

  27. Here don't mean to be bad but are you just doing this for viewers and like or do you believe what you are saying because I like your vids but if your at that then sorry but bye just want to know

  28. so get help. unless you can solve this by yourself, get help, or just give up. i got help, and now i don't have to worry so much about giving up.

  29. Depression, is terrible, you hide from other people and put on a smile, you don't talk about it. You put on a character, that's not you. But you are you.

  30. I want to seek help so badly but like you said ,it's easier said than done.I hope daily that one day this pain will go away

  31. My live goes like this too , everything fine outside but inside I don't know,
    So true words ,I have no words to show my gratitude to the personality exactly like me

  32. Thank you for this message, Taz and for everyone else who is going through this including me, we are in this together.

  33. Depression is something I hide I don’t know why I have it, I have a great family and great friends, I don’t want to tell them because they won’t believe me I have great times and my life is perfect but that’s the mask I put Infront of my crying face it’s eating me up I don’t want to live but I’m way to scared to die
    I don’t know why but my life sounds and looks so happy I lost my old best friend because I have moved schools and I can’t even contact her my childhood bestie is also he was so nice and would always make me laugh and smile but now all I can do is fake my smile my dog died too and I don’t know what but everyday I feel like absolute shit and that been eating me up for years my friend has replaced me and we been friends for years people are always spreading rumors about me and I’m crying every day I don’t know what to do and this relates to me so so much and guess what I’m only….. 10

  34. :0 omg i saw an artist do this and he listed a link to the original and i was shocked it was you it made me cry cause i can relate

  35. I am here in my bedroom crying because of nothing…
    I dont know why but I just felt the need to cry…
    On the dinner table when we were eating I was crying…
    Yet my parents didnt give two shits about me and started to have a conversation with our guests…

    Why is everyone like this…
    Why is life like this…

  36. im 10 and this basically describes my life in 2:44 mins and seconds i can't seem to find something that makes me happy im to shy to admit anything, ive never asked for help with my emotions, even how much i try i cant find a reason for anything i live for other people and i wake up knowing im going to cry in the inside and not shout for help, i just stay to my self and i cant find a reason ive put up a barer so people dont see the real me, ive tried to point out im not okay without saying it but nobody finds out, ive cut and never have found a reason to live, and i only live for my love.

  37. Depression.

    I might look okay and all,
    But late at night,
    Alone I bawl.

    I try to pull myself up,
    I try to look tall.
    But the more I try,
    The more I fall.

    People don’t empathise me,
    They just seem appalled.
    Nobody understands me,
    So I put up a wall.

    Late midnight,
    As owls calls.
    The last time I was happy?
    I can’t recall.

  38. I can relate to this so much, I have good grades amazing friends and a nice family yet I constantly feel empty depressed and constant putting up a mask of happiness so people think I'm OK

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